Wow can I identify with that curiousconfused ... many here share your feelings, many have already walked the path and dealt with it ... for whatever its worth, you are not alone, there is no easy answer.
Question for Elders
by curiousconfused 64 Replies latest members private
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Tuesday
I empathize with you. I was never an elder but I figure sometimes it's best to just give a reassuring smile and say "Give 'em Hell Kid"
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Billy the Ex-Bethelite
cc,
Give it some time. Read the stories of others and learn from their experiences. Think through some different plans.
You're in the process of waking up. It's complex to recover from a WT induced coma. I went through plenty of times that I was a complete mess, and I don't have the complication of a wife and kids.
Again, take your time, don't stress out. Armageddon isn't coming tomorrow, and rocks aren't going to suddenly come raining down on your head.
Edit to add: And it's helped since I moved away to university to have access to free counselling. I've come a long way from this.
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wannabefree
This is very helpful ... check it out.
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elderelite
We all understand, "elder","former elder" or " publisher" the stress u are feeling. Some have had hospital stays, many have gone to counsiling... Its a lot to deal with.
Whats important right this second is to..... RELAX!!!!!! Take a breath. Its a process. Few learn what you are and instantly change their perspective... Its just practicle. Take a breath. No one knows who you are. Your feelings are no one but your own. Jehovah isnt going to reveal this to the world, he isnt going to withdrawl his blessings. Tommarow is gonna be the same as yesterday. You will be ok. We all will be ok.
As for the the elder stuff..... Relax on that too. It takes time to develop the comfort to be the rebel sister knot is encouraging you to be. You have a lot wrap your head around and huge family issues. There is no time limit. No one lives your life for you. When you have had enough you wont care what anyone else thinks. Until then..... Relax :-) Take time to learn and unlearn. Question everything. Let it all run its course. Dont stress over decisions you feel have to make. You dont. Not today anyway. Eventually you will.... And they will be good decisions based on sound logic and whats best for you. Till then.... Talk it out. Listen to what everyone has to say... And most of all...
Relax
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00DAD
curiousconfused: So many of you seem so rational....... I feel like Im in some kind of cage....... how the hell do I get out of this.... I cant calculate the hurt and distress caused to almost every one I love.... how will my kids understand that the very things Ive spent all their lives telling them are importamt, arent... i feel a complete mess....
You feel like you're in a cage because you ARE in a cage, albeit one made with invisible bars forged from psychological manipulation and lies instilling fears and false hopes.
If many of us "seem so rational" it's only because we've had a bit more time to deal with this and work our way through it and out. Take heart, you can get out, you will get out!
If you haven't done so already, get yourself a copy of Steven Hassan's second book appropriately titled, "Releasing the Bonds: Empowering People to Think for Themselves."
It's natural you feel anger, outrage even, at the lies you've been taught. It's also normal that you feel guilt and confusion regarding your kids, after all, YOU taught them to believe these things.
But you have a tremendous advantage. You are "waking up" in a way that allows you the opportunity to have at least some control over your exit. Perhaps you can even get your family out. The fact that you're here and having dialogue will give you helpful feedback and ideas on how best to proceed.
While it will probably mean "keeping up pretenses" for a while at least, it will give you the chance to make some plans and begin talking with your family to help them see what you now see. You taught them what they presently believe, you can teach them what they need to know now!
The fact is, many of us "woke up" in isolation and didn't have the advantage of knowing what you do. Learn from our mistakes. Proceed with caution, but do what you know you must with all the courage of your convictions.
Also know that the only thing you can trust everyone "Still In" to do is be loyal to the organization. Do NOT tell any others about your doubts or discoveries. Perhaps some are in a similar situation, but you can't know and you can't take the chance to talk to anyone. Maybe others will be encouraged by your actions to do the same.
Keep us posted!
00DAD
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The Searcher
@ CURIOUSCONFUSED
All the 1st century God-fearing Jews who were awaiting the Messiah's arrival, didn't quit the Jewish faith because it had been corrupted by those "taking the lead". They waited for the judgement on their currupted system, and it came as Jesus said it would. Likewise, Paul, Peter & Jesus all warned those in the Christian congregation, those who were preaching the good news of the kingdom (not pick 'n' mix Christians) that there would be corrupt teachers amongst them and that they would be judged first. Then all those NOT associated will be dealt with. (2 Thess. 2:3-12; 1 Pet. 4:17; Rev. chapters 2 & 3)
All of these inspired verses are either said to have already been fulfilled, applied to Christendom, or are just blatantly not discussed in detail. As Peter's words show, the judgement for those NOT in the Christian congregation (despite the corruption) will be worse. For any well-meaning responses I'll ask this, despite all the glaring "detestable things being done in the midst of her", name ONE Christian people which at least tries to preach the good news, tries to obey Caesar in all things, and point-blank refuses to go and kill their fellow man in war. It's easy to criticise and highlight the badness going on (I do it myself) but be constructive - show a better, Scriptural solution than waiting patiently and doing what Christ himself said about the corrupt religious leader's teachings in his day, " The scribes and the Pharisees have seated themselves in the seat of Moses. Therefore all the things they tell YOU, do and observe, but do not do according to their deeds, for they say but do not perform".
Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater.
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designs
curious- your kids will adapt. One of my children agrees with my views of the Witness world and the Bible and the other does not, that's how it goes, all you can do is love them and show them you are a good caring person.
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wannabefree
@ The Searcher
Israel, as a nation, was the arrangement at the time ... replaced by the Christian arrangement, faith of individuals in the Son ... The Watch Tower Bible and Tract Society, Inc. is not, was not, and never will be God's arrangement for salvation.
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punkofnice
I quit being an elder. I handed my book in along with all the other jobs the CoBE was too lazy to do and relaxed. Free time at last! I spent it with my family. I spent it researching which is when it all clicked.
Once I started to wake up my reversal away from the WBT$ was at a phemomenal speed. I woke up quite abruptly. Anyway, not to divert the thread....
I am now DA'd.
I feel much relief at leaving that 'cage'. You see, I had the key all along, I was just too afraid to use it.
I've been reading this thread and kind of got diverted with some of the comments so I'm unsure where we are in the stream of things.
If you have to stay 'in' can you simply claim that you can't handle some of your duties right now. Y'know, humbly knowing your limits and all that jazz? Then gradually make for the exit?
Just a thought.
Regards Paolo
