The Wacky World of Dating Sites

Terry

Sooner or later each of us who does not have a significant other goes out on the trail armed with our crappy photo and lame self-descriptions and awkward smile in search of our prey: AN EXCITING MATE!

Who'd have thunk it? It ain't easy.

Not easy, why? You ask.

It is easy enough to meet people. It is easy enough to sort of end up with them. But, that is a DEFAULT SETTING and not a fun lifestyle decision.

You want to meet the BEST living example of the perfect person for yourself!

So...

You put up your Billboard advertising your ugly puss as the best thing since the disposable diaper.

Then, the e-mails start coming in like Florida Dade County votes in the Gore/Bush presidential election.

They are out there! And they WANT YOU!!

Tall ones.

Short ones.

Lumpy ones.

Extravagantly boobyfied ones.

Tattooed and bejeweled ones.

Tiny dark and blurred photos. Glamour puss photos. Horror stills. Madison avenue shrill ones.

What's a poor lad to do?

Well, I talk to them on the phone. I make them laugh. I go out and MEET them.

Simple, right?

Noooooooooo.

They don't look like their photo. Why? The damned photo was taken in 2009! Forty pounds ago. Ninety wrinkles ago!

You see, I'm in a....ummm....delicate...age group!

I'm MAN seeks WOMAN in the 55-66 age group!

Talking about a used car lot full of dents and dings.....well, WELCOME to my world!

These ladies are all very nice, pleasant, normal-ish, and......NOT what I'm looking for.

I'm sure, on some level, they know I'm not their steaming cup o' Rhubarb Tea either.

So, armed with my iPhone and a bathroom mirror, I launch my glamour puss photo on Plenty of Fish (free dating site) and

continue to catch and release...catch and release...catch and release!

transhuman68

This thread made me LOL. But really, if you haven't got the 'need to breed' you are just a tire-kicker....

mrsjones5

Damn Terry! You're such a good looking guy, no wonder you're getting a lot of play. *nods head*

fresh prince of ohio

I'm MAN seeks WOMAN in the 35-45 age group. Plenty of dents and dings in that category too.

Typical intro lines of woman-seeking-man ads on POF: "Tired of Losers!" or, "Tired of Players!" or, "Where are the nice guys?" Cracks me up. Get real - you're on a free dating website, you're in your 30s/40s/50s with a string of unsuccessful relationships behind you, but it's always our fault, lol.

james_woods

Terry, did you mention that you like to go for long walks on the beach?

Terry

Truth in Advertising: I like to go for long wheelchair rides on the ramp next to the beach.

Pleasant obsessive-compulsive personality kept in check by Meds.

Few extra pounds added since my last binge, but, a great smile!

Looking for the last man in my life. Due to my cooking.

james_woods

But do they like Pina Coladas?

Band on the Run

I did eHarmony but was disappointed that they did not screen for education. Perhaps five men were in the rough ball park. I don't know why the others called me. eHarmony does no magic psychological screening. The price screens out many peoplel considered losers. I found it a bit depressing but men assured me it was tons better than free sites.

One thing was clear. The men had crappy photos. Perhaps taken at a casual birthday party. Often, their face was not the focus on the photo. Women, on the other hand, seemed to have a prof'l take their photos. When I read the descriptions, most men wrote nonsense from a Hallmark card. A Hallmark card isn't very sincere or manly. Walks on the beach. What if you live in Idaho? It is such a trite description of what women wanted back in the 40s and 50s. I don't want to walk anyplace with a stranger. Your passions and life philosophy might make me change my mind. Your favorite books would reveal a lot to me. Many of the men don't even seem to be making an effort.

On the other hand, the women were overly prepared and canned. Their essays/statements sounded as though a ghost writer wrote them. They were profound, pithy, and not real to me. Of course, not every man or woman broke down into these categories. I saw a general pattern, though.

I'm signing up for Ivy League and eHarmony next month to make another foray. Terry, without the internet, where would people our age find members of the opposite sex still wanting to live a full and balance life. Church was my favorite dating venue. Any serial rapist/killer can join a church for victims but everyplace I went in Manhattan, women assured me it was the safest place with the nicest male. I did find dates and good male friends in Manhattan churches. Now that I live in exile in the exurbs, the dating pool is nill. The nearest city,PHilly, is a two hour commute each way. Manhattan takes three hours but frankly, I'd rather spend the extra hour and be in a vibrant place.

I find internet dating a challenge. Terry,, may I ask if you have a general description to drag in more hits or a more detailed one. A former Catholic Sister of Charity, very naive (the nuns dumped her heartlessly b/c she did not develop So. Bronx street smarts in a few days) did Catholic internet dating. If a Sister of Charity can find the nerve, so can I! She started with a general description. The two hour commutes were wearing her down so she rewrote her profile in excruciating detail. Of course, she had fewer hits but the hits were golden.

If you would be so kind to share methods with someone who is afraid, do you date every contact? My experience was that men gave me hour long elevator speeches. I wanted to taze them to insert a few words. They were prob. very nervous and doing the manly thing by selling themselves. I feel a conversation should be more participatory for both parties. I ended up resentiing them. Yet I also feel they were very nice guys. Is there anything polite to say to break this pattern. Mind you, I don't know quite what to say. Just listening is an easy way out until I get fed up.

When a date does not work out, do you feel sad? Or, do you praise yourself for being in the game and go on to the next? When I was younger,I joined private professional clubs with a great deal of dating. Somehow I never thought they would work out but I felt I was doing my duty. Living where I do now I feel such a loser. I wholeheartedly want to get back in the game of life. LIncoln Center may be three hours away. Three hours is better than 13 hours.

Cities are wonderful. Sorry if this is disjointed. It was a stream of consciousness production.

NomadSoul

I've tried online dating before, both the free site like POF and E-harmony. POF is just funny, you'll find tons of generic profiles like the one's just mentioned aboved. My favorite one is where they go out the way to tell you that they're not the kind of person to usually go on online dating sites, LOL.

E-Harmony has a better system, and I actually met some nice women there. But, I wasn't willing to pay anything after my introductary period was over.

Now I got a new approach to finding dates in the real world, and it works... well, not all the time, but I'm getting better at it. Lol

james_woods

BOTR - maybe you should put up your picture here on this thread.

Terry already did...

The Wacky World of Dating Sites

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