The Wacky World of Dating Sites (page 2)

LongHairGal

TERRY: I give you credit for going on those dating sites. I have no patience for it or people's baggage which may not be something I CARE to deal with. Oftentimes the GUY doesn't necessarily look as good as HIS photo either! There is only so much a photo can convey. At least in person you can pick up a "vibe" and you can know inside of a few sentences if you even want to know more! I give people credit who want to deal with peeling away the layers of "mystery" you have when meeting a stranger online.

Band on the Run

Good point about photo. I have to take it myself. Imploring friends to help did not bring one person to life my camera. I need it for LinkedIn and Facebook for professional reasons. I don't care so much about how someone looks in LinkedIn. People are mostly attractive in a spectrum. Very few are very attractive or ugly. I react to styling. Current haircuts, makeup, a certain type of clothing. I notice that my lack of photo and others who did not post seems sloppy, as though I don't care enough. It is easier for me to relate to people with photos.

My lack of self-esteem has kept me from completing the task. I am considering having a professional take a series. When I was a teenager/young adult, I felt that I looked so ugly that no one would want me. I had a beautiful old fashioned mirror on my closet door which I covered up with Beatles and Stones posters. Glancing at my reflection in store windows caused a meltdown. Family and friends photo from that period still exist. I was beautiful. Naturally beautiful! So now I don't know if I am pulling the same crap, distorting reality in conformance with my JW uprbringing or whether I am so bad.

I am not as golden looking as in my youth. C'est la vie.

Anway, I am resolving here to have my photo up within a few weeks. I also need to start using the webcam on my Skype. It helps me seeing the other person and I don't expect a modeling agency. Rather than modesty about my looks, it is turning people off. I can't just a professional situation. No, I cannot talk with the client. I did my own makeup and hair this am.

Terry, Your photo does look awesome. It looks very different from your avatar which is nice. You have stiffened by backbone. As I feel awkward, I am going to say "Terry does it. He has courage. Find a backbone." I should thank the heavens for internet dating.

NewYork44M

When you take a picture, make sure you are holding today's news paper in your hand. That way you can prove the newness of the picture.

james_woods

When you take a picture, make sure you are holding today's news paper in your hand. That way you can prove the newness of the picture.

But - but - that's what they do when the kidnappers send pictures of the kinapped kids for ransom....???

Morbidzbaby

I LOL'ed, Terry...but it's so true. I tried the dating sites...hell, I even tried Craigslist! Your pic is actually really nice...and very honest. You're putting your best face forward, but you aren't being dishonest about who you are.

I had one guy who seemed young and nice. His pic was okay (he wasn't a knockout or anything), and I decided after speaking to him a bit that I would meet him. OH. MY. Goodness. About 100 pounds heavier than he led me to believe (which isn't an issue in itself, I like big guys), WRINKLES...I'm not talking a few laugh lines and some crow's feet, I'm talking "ridden hard and put away wet too many times" WRINKLES. He told me he was 31. He looked 51. He took off his ball cap, and that was the end of the game...balding...badly. I'm not opposed to balding men (my bf is receding, so he Bic's his head and I love it!). I'm opposed to balding, very fat, wrinkly men who are CLEARLY in their 50's telling me they are 31. Honestly, I may have been able to look past this guy's outward looks and get to know him if he hadn't lied to me. Look, if you think you like me and that I might like you, BE HONEST. All you're doing is setting yourself up for massive failure when I figure out quickly that you've been lying like the rug you should be wearing on your head...Just saying...

I've had some okay experiences with online dating, and some horrible ones (ex husband...JW dating site...what a friggin' joke). I met my bf online, but it wasn't a dating site. We were just talking on message forums and started talking in private, became friends, exchanged phone numbers, started texting and talking every day, and here I am...living with him and almost 9 weeks pregnant. So it CAN happen, but sometimes it's when you least expect it.

Also...don't be afraid to look outside your "comfort zone" area-wise. Long distance can be tough, but it can work. I never thought I'd move across the country for a man. But here I am. So you just never know.

00DAD

I met my wife in line at a supermarket. I asked her what she cooked with parsnips.

The rest is, as they say, history?

sspo

Did you try JWMatch.......explain that you are inactive at the present time but you still have a deep love for the Watchtower and

the brotherhood and for sure you'll get hundreds of emails from desperate sisters.

undercover

I'm sorry.... but you are so iPhone 3. It'll never work...

Terry

If you would be so kind to share methods with someone who is afraid, do you date every contact? My experience was that men gave me hour long elevator speeches. I wanted to taze them to insert a few words. They were prob. very nervous and doing the manly thing by selling themselves. I feel a conversation should be more participatory for both parties. I ended up resentiing them. Yet I also feel they were very nice guys. Is there anything polite to say to break this pattern. Mind you, I don't know quite what to say. Just listening is an easy way out until I get fed up.

When a date does not work out, do you feel sad? Or, do you praise yourself for being in the game and go on to the next? When I was younger,I joined private professional clubs with a great deal of dating.

For what my two cents is worth (inflation adjusted)....

People who are FUN make life fun for others.

People who smile look friendly.

Personality, to me, is being playful and curious.

State up front: I'm funny and you should be funny too. (No, not funny looking!)

Say something such as: "I don't care what kind of car you drive or how much money you make. I care if you love your kids, listen when others talk and are able to admit when you're wrong."

When I see Profiles that say: "I love to take Cruises, go jet-skiing, visit great restaurants, etc" It translates into: "I'm a Princess; get out your wallet."

Say simply: I'm normal. I'm looking for normal. Be able to let go and not take over. Take it slow. Take it easy.

I don't know about you, but, I want somebody I look forward to spending time with because they bring out MY BEST qualities. They encourage my respect, manners, generosity and sense of humor because they show it in every word and gesture naturally.

Stiff, serious, interrogators with a "show me" attitude can wait for the next time--I'm outta there.

My attitude is: Just try and have fun. If you don't have some sort of "connection" you don't and that's just life!

It is a kind of benign numbers game. The more times you try the better your chances are and the greater your skillset.

I've gone out 4 times in one week and I have one good prospect that actually makes me happy when I see an e-mail in the morning wishing me a happy day. Awwww shucks.

mrsjones5

Awwwwww, that's really sweet.

The Wacky World of Dating Sites

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