Whoa whoa whoa...I never said you were a new parent. I'm just saying that new parents are more likely to make mistakes. I was just generalizing.I knew YOU weren't a new parent.
Spare the Rod and spoil the child, How did that work for you
by jam 210 Replies latest jw friends
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King Solomon
CE said:
I'm so sick of being told what i don't know. I don't claim to know how to raise kids. I've said before that being a parent must be harder than anything else in the world. But god forbid I disagree with one aspect of raising kids. Suddenly I'm the typical know-it-all teen.
The funny thing is that people need to get a license to drive a car, but does someone want to have children? No classes required, no license, no training, etc. Everyone can do it without having to do absolutely anything else (except possess a pair of gonads, and get busy). Probably why everyone feels entitled to do so, huh? :)
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jemba
My JW Mother used spanking as stress relief. It made her feel better to hit her kids wherever she could get them. She punched me in the face on two occasions and picked up a set of drawers and threw it at myself and my Sister.
At anytime, anywhere she could go on the attack, for any reason. My parents firmly believed that Jehovah required them to 'belt' us whenever they thought it was needed. When witlesses raised an eyebrow to her behaviour she would brag that it was deserved punishment.
Public humiliation was a favorite of my Mothers, the more people watching, the better.
By the time my little sister was born 18 yrs after me, I had threatened to call the police on many occasions on her violence, I really wish I did.
One family in our cong when I was a kid would sit with their four kids right in the front row every meeting and each meeting there would be at least one face slapped. The only way they punished their kids at the meetings was a very hard slap to the face in front of everyone. I remember looking around me and seeing other witlesses wince as they saw and heard the slap to the face. It was quite a distraction to everyone as we sat and watched the kids face turn red with a handprint.
My two kids have both turned out lovely and almost never smacked, only punished and had boundries set for them. Im a big believer in sitting down and talking about things, reasoning with kids was never my parents forte. I have NEVER smacked either of my boys out of anger.
A sharp smack on the hand has been helpful when the kids were little and doing dangerous things like playing with powerpoints and no other reasoning would work. But generally I dont believe in smacking children as it is open to abuse by bad parents like mine who think God expects them to belt their kids.
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cofty
I've already been negated as a bad parent by you (and a few others on this thread) in so many words because I confessed to spanking my kids at one time. - Mrsjones
No you haven't that's just you being defensive. You have been challenged for defending hitting children and your repsonse has been evasive and condescending. You have raised children - we get it - so have many of us.
Disrespecting CE's opinion because she hasn't had children isn't cool. She hasn't been a slave owner either. On the other hand she has been a child and knows how corporeal punishment afffected her.
Many people like myself have expressed regret and sadness that they ever smacked their children, others still defend it. Mostly those are people who think the bible is a useful moral guide.
The question remains unanswered - Why is it wrong to hit an adult with a developmental age of two but not wrong to hit a two year old child?
9 pages and not even an attempt at an answer by any smacking apologist.
"It never did me any harm" is not an answer.
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shepherd
It seems to me the ones most often defending smacking also tend to be the least able to express themselves fluently. Perhaps they are more likely to get frustrated and lash out. WasBlind still seems blind to me (and in need of a keyboard that has a working letter g).
There is no justification for hitting a child. There are many other ways to discipline when it is needed, but the most effective way to bring up a child is to encourage/reward good behavior instead.
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wasblind
Burns the ships,
the daughter I have studied abroad, and remained on the deans list
she is a well rounded grown woman and Represents a co-ed fraternity
You cannot say I did not encourage , support and reward my daughter
Because I did not spare the rod . That is a false assumption
and you damn well know that
Seems to me when burns can't defend a position he resorts to nit pick
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wasblind
Wasblind, that was meant as a joke
Oh, you can Joke that we are happy dishin' out punishment to our children
but you call a gentle ribbing from Jose rude ???
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wasblind
double post
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mrsjones5
Well, I've been thinking about this and I've come to the conclusion that it really doesn't matter to me what any of you think about my parenting skills cuz I know the truth of my life and my kids any that's all that matters.
When our family lost our house none of you were to pick up the pieces of my children's lives. None of you wre there to make sure they had a roof over there heads. None of you were there to make sure they were fed. None of you were there to assure my children that things were going to get better. None of you were there to recongnize that my baby boy was showing signs of autism. None of you were there to get my baby boy evaluated to access services that he needed. None of you were there for the parents conferences of any of my children. None of you were there when my baby boy had to have a triplet hernia operation at the precious age of four months. None of you were there when my oldest boy broke his big toe and had to go under the knife. None if you were there when my baby boy at the age of two cut open his head on a tv stand and I had to rush him to the hospital while trying to stop all that blood. None of you were there for anything.
You don't know me or my kids because none of you were there for any of it and in the grand scheme of things it really doesn't matter what any of you think. I love my kids and that's all that matters to me
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cofty
MrsJones - I for one am not doubting your parenting skills, your love for your children or what a great success you have made of the job.
None of that is up for debate or ever has been.
I am not blaming you for occasionally smacking your children, I did too. We were conditioned by our parents and by a cult to think it was normal.
I am challenging you for continuing to defend the indefensible.
My question remains unanswered.