Spare the Rod and spoil the child, How did that work for you

by jam 210 Replies latest jw friends

  • Band on the Run
    Band on the Run

    This thread has me in tears. Oh, I heard that scripture all the time. It justified kicking me off walls, throwing me down stairs. The male dominance scripture justified stepping on my mother's chest to crush it. He had NO fear when he appeared before a judge b/c Jehovah said to beat women. I can't state that the WT ever condoned such behavior. They do nothing to put the scripture in context. There are prob. more verses where children are valuable.

    I fought for my very life on more than one occasion. My brother was born with cerebral palsy. He wore very heavy braces when he was young. When I was five, and my brother, four, he drove us to the steepest cliff in NJ, which offered a magnificent view of the NY skyline. IN full view of a crowd of adults, he grabbed my brother and held him so he dangled off the cliff. My brother did not have normal strength in his arms to hold on. His face was so red as he screeched in agony. There was nothing I could do. A fine witness for everyone. The people all want to hear how evil Roman Catholics are and how great Jehovah is. My brother managed to hang on. Imagine the trauma of your parent being so vile.

    If Jehovah wants this behavior, Jehovah can go F...... Jehovah. I would rather worship Satan. Jung wrote that God lacked basic human moral standards in Answer to Job. Jehovah needs to grow up.

    The culture encourages this behavior. I believed God wanted me to be beat to a pulp. No one took down our license plate number and called the police.

    Selma and Steve infuriated me.

  • iceguy
    iceguy

    Had a family in our hall that did not spare a section of Hot Wheels race track. Those damn things hurt like hell!!!

  • eva luna
    eva luna

    iceguy,

    That was the weapon of choice in my family. Talk about giving kids a toy with a mixed message. Damn velveta cheese colored wackers.

    Sparlock...save me.

  • Goshawk
    Goshawk

    It was just dreamy.

    Care to see the scars? Free funny story with each one.

    When a belt, strap or switch was used I was glad the punishment session would be brief; much preferable to the screaming, kicking, and slapping that seemed to go on forever until they were exhausted.

    OFW

    Goshawk

  • iceguy
    iceguy

    eva luna,

    Me and my Brother would beat the crap out of each other with those race track sections!

  • Chemical Emotions
    Chemical Emotions

    I was spanked a few times, not very hard, but it hurt, when I was much younger. Also, I was slapped several times and backhanded occasionally. The memories still make me cry. I still am afraid of those in authority. Part of me desires the pain, part of me hates it. In short, I'm f*ckd up.

    I could handle the pain- I have great pain tolerance. But being hit, even lightly, by your own parent is a horrible feeling. The shame and humiliation, the basic, natural instinct to get away from the abuser but the knowledge that your abuser will only hurt you more if you do...is terrible. it's cruel. I don't care if you spank your kid a few times or if you beat them every day (although obviously the latter is worse!). It's a horrible thing to essentially tell your child "I'm the boss; obey me or suffer". It's disrespectful to the child and flies in the face of reason and love. Despite what the WT wants you to think, children are people too, and need kindness, gentlenes, patience, understanding, boundaries, discipline, and a consistent feeling of safety with their parents. Not punishments and shame and fear and pain.

    F*ck the WT.

  • bigmouth
    bigmouth

    My Grandchildren were visiting for a day. I had explained to them how dangerous the main road was down our drive and made sure all gates to paddocks were locked and safe from roads, water holes etc.

    I happened to be checking on the kids at one point and saw my 3 year old walking toward the main road. He had somehow got over or under the big steel fence and was just meters from trucks and tractors.

    I managed to grab him just in time and gave him an almighty series of belts on his backside.

    I hugged him so tight we could hardly breathe and while he howled, I shook.

    He's still alive and I hope he wont hate me for hitting him.

  • cofty
    cofty

    Why was it necessary to hit him bigmouth? You already had a hold of him so he was nolonger in dangr. Was there no other way of impressing on him how dangerous the road was?

  • bigmouth
    bigmouth

    Cofty, I don't know. He had no concept of a big truck and death. To this day, I can't figure out how he made his way through that locked gate.

    Is it fair to say that, in lieu of him understanding the danger, the smack was sufficient for him to realise that what he did was 'bad'?

    I guess my response was fear for his safety, not anger. Perhaps the smack created an aversion to the behaviour.

    What else should I have done ? My little speech about the road obviously made no sense to him.

  • Pams girl
    Pams girl

    My nana used to slap us with a slipper, we spent many hours running around like that......

    I had the cane in school once

    My dad punched me when I told him my best friends dad was sexually abusing me

    Im a mother & grandmother now. If smacking/hitting taught me anything, its that I vowed I would never do it.

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