Hello everyone, thanks so much for your kind comments! I hope that as a community we can all continue to share and learn from our combined experiences. I appreciate you continuing to check in on the developing story. I sometimes think people might tire of my long posts and drama. It is therapeutic for me to do it though, so there will no doubt be more to come!
It has now been a couple of days since I sent my DA letter to the elders and also to my JW friends on Facebook. The number of friends continues to drop on FB, and I still have not heard anything from the elders.
I did however get a reply from Sister T. I had some small hope that all of the hard work and effort we had put in with her over the last year or so, along with being good friends that supported her when she got screwed by the elders might result in her wanting to keep in touch, even if it was in a surreptitious way. But sadly, no, that was not to be the case. This was her reply:
“I love you and this breaks my heart.
Love Jehovah and obey. I believe that you committed an act of apostasy. I know it’s what you now believe but I was stunned to see the extent of it.
Come back one day. I’ll greet you with open arms and tears of utter joy.
Good bye my brother.”
So there you have it. The cult defence systems are engaged. I mulled over whether or not I should reply and in the end thought stuff it, what have I got to lose? This was my reply:
“Hey there!
Thanks for your message. As I said earlier, it’s all good. I figured you would say something along the lines of what you said.
I do love Jehovah and I do obey him, but I will not and will never love and obey a group of men in New York who have spent the last 100+ years changing their minds and messing with people’s lives. Their position is unscriptural and my time as an elder exposed to me the harsh reality of what happens when humans think they can control a person’s eternal future.
I still love you and care for you both, and will never forget all the fun and adventures we had. Good times!
Take care, lots of love 
”
I think what I said was fair enough. She, like most JWs, is a lovely person with some beautiful qualities. The WTS just has this knack of getting in to people’s minds and messing with them. The programming runs deep, and is difficult to undo.
I sent an email to my sister the other day too. I honestly have no idea what her response will be.
Mrs Smith has received some interesting messages. She / we have had no contact from anyone at all since our last meeting (the memorial back in March) and now all of a sudden they have remembered she exists. JWs only care when it is convenient for them. Here is one message, copied verbatim (except I have changed the names):
“Mrs Smith, I asked <a friend> for your mobile number last night so I could let you know that <husband> and I are thinking and praying for you. I can only imagine the pain in your heart. And we can only guess at the overwhelming feelings of disappointment that has led Winston to disassociate himself. We pray our God Jehovah will comfort and help you be strong in your own faith. Maybe this will in turn help your husband who you love so very much. When we were in <our old> congregation, <husband> and I respected Winston and you for your endurance. We were grateful for Winston’s hard work and reasonableness. I remember at a particularly low point in our lives we chose to meet up with Winston’s witnessing group because we felt comfortable doing so. How sad we feel to know Winston has rejected what we believe in our hearts to be the organisation Jehovah is using in these last days. Even though we are imperfect. We hope Winston will not feel this way for long. Mrs Smith, I know you don’t have good health, but I would love to meet up with you and <friend> for a coffee one day. Take care my dear sister. Jehovah bless.”
Mrs Smith forwarded the message to me with WTF? as the subject line.
It was nice how she mentioned about how her and her husband felt about coming to my group, but wrapped up in all the other stuff kinda makes it taste bad. It is an interesting peek into the mind of a JW isn’t it?
Do people assume that their relationship with Mrs Smith is now closer than my relationship with her? Do they think that Mrs Smith would hide these messages from me? I guess they must think that she is sitting in the corner terrified of her fire breathing apostate husband. I guess they need to keep telling themselves that what the WTS says about those who leave is true. Mrs Smith plans to regularly post pictures on Facebook of the two of us out and about having fun together.
In the couple of days since sending the letter, I have felt great. Had two good night’s sleep, got a new bounce in my step, and the world seems to have colour again. Fading was a long tough road, and for me, cutting it off and sending a DA letter was exactly what I needed. This may not be the case for some, but I am very happy that I did. No need to look around when I’m sitting at a foodcourt just in case someone spots us and comes over to tell us they miss us and we have to lie to them, no looking furtively out the window when a car pulls up out front of our house, no more wondering who’s on the other end when my phone rings.
Winston looked upon the situation, and he saw that it was good.
”