Hi Winston,
My husband showed me your DA letter, and after reading it I decided to read your thread to get the whole story. It's taken my several days, but I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. We have toyed with whether to DA or just stay inactive. It's a tough decision because on one hand the line in the sand is appealing, but on the other hand it's playing by their rules which we're done with. It's such a personal decision and only time will tell what course will be best or necessary for us and so many others who have left.
I love your artful use of questions. There's no better way to reason with someone than to have them come to their own conclusions.
I so agree with you on the phrase "miss you." It is so empty and never followed up with any real action. The only times elders come to our door is to leave an invitation to the memorial or convention with the words "we miss you." These are the same ones that didn't pay us an ounce of interest when we sat next to them at the hall, so their words really do sound hollow.
It's always amazing to see the witness gossip grapevine snap in to action. We've had family gossip about us behind our backs without so much as a phone call to us to see whether what they're saying is actually true.
On the positive side, one family member we told that we were no longer going to meetings responded much like your mother, acknowledged they too have issues with WT and they made a point of saying that they were glad my husband and I left together. No shunning whatsoever.
It's always nice to read a well-written story that gives a good example of leaving and dealing with those left behind. Hopefully it gives courage to those who may be standing at an intersection. I love your Dr. Seuss quote. It was in one of my magazine subscriptions years ago and I cut it out and put it on my fridge where it still lives.
Free