Hello Bornfree123, I'm new around here but have just filed for divorce, so you are in my thoughts. I know the thread was started a couple of months ago, but here are my two cents for what they may be worth.
*lost* has given very good tips on how to get evidence and where to go for advice and help.
I would suggest making sure that your have a solicitor that actually cares and is committed on getting the best results for you and seeing the whole process through, as well as taking into account your feelings and emotional state, they need to be aware of what you can actually handle at every stage. And you must feel that you can trust this person.
You may have done this already, but in case you haven't, check if you are entitled to get legal aid, your solicitor should be able to do this for you.
Above all, don't fall into the trap of giving your soon to be ex the pleasure of a scriptural divorce. Seems to me by what you have said until now that's what he's after, he would be able to play the sympathy card and paint you as a bad person, and have the blessing of others when he decides to remarry, when in effect he is the one responsible for this, he walked out on you and your children, so make him pay for it girl. It's good you have your mom's support.
You will be pestered and probably harassed by some JWs trying to find out if you have comitted adultery – I have been, some were actually very angry when they finally realized that I was not an adulterer. So don't let anyone harass you, and don't even think of admitting to something you haven't done just to speed things up. It's easier said than done, but at the end you will be able to hold your head high.
Now, counting on him getting DF or reproved on the grounds that he is not providing for you and your children, it doesn't always work that way. Even with written evidence he may get away with it in a congregational level if he knows how play the elders. But the judge, that will be a different matter.
And to those pointing out that Jehovah hates a divorcing, it sure is what we've had drummed into us whenever the subject has popped up, and even more so if you have dared to separate from your husband or decided to divorce him. But if you read Malachi 2:6 in other translations of the Bible, you may be surprised. As an example, here's how the NIV translates it:
““The man who hates and divorces his wife,” says the LORD, the God of Israel, “does violence to the one he should protect,” says the LORD Almighty. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful.”
Just a thought.
