by stillin 62 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
As for long-term planning, pensions, and health care, I've advised hubby that he's in charge of the here and now and I am in charge of our future. He's smart enough to know that this strategy hedges his bets. He's a natural hedonist anyhow.
BTW, I'm the primary wage earner in our home. It's the power position. Played right, everyone's happy.
Hi stillin, DITTO what other posters wrote about changing router passwords, cancelling credit cards, and giving your wife choices but standing your ground. If you cannot get your wife to see a marriage (cult-exit) counselor with you, then you should go by yourself. A good counselor can help you to evaluate your situation and possibly help you to communicate better with your wife.
IMHO if your wife does not want to go to a marriage (cult-exit) counselor with you, then she does not care about you and your feelings. My ex-wife did not want to go to a marriage counselor with me when I thought our marriage was not going well. BTH way my wife and I argued a lot, but at least she was more financially responsible than your wife. We got a divorce, but it would have been cheaper to divorce her sooner verses later.
Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,
Robert
hey jgnat can you post a link to their story? (Simon and agharad)
I hate to say it but you have just this life to live and I would caution you from living it without happiness.
DS, can't provide a link to that story because it was told to me in person at our mini-apostafest in Calgary. Simon has told the story of his exit and I believe it is in the Best Of section.
I have read the comments. I have also lived through a divorce with a woman that hated me but loved my money.
First, what is your goal? Do you want to make her life miserable and then you both live in a cesspool of misery? Or, do you want to make some tough decisions so you can get on with life?
If your choice is option one, then follow the advice here.
If the choice is option 2 there here is what you need to know.
You are the man, you have a penis, therefore you will never NEVER be the hero. Courts are very biased towards women, because of what I explained. If you want to be the good guy in the breakup you need to get this out of your head. You are worse than dirt. Your first meeting with a judge will confirm this.
Getting rid of this woman will be very VERY expensive. She does not work, the courts will require you to pay for her lawyer. And let me tell you the ride you are awaiting is very expensive.
The two years that encompased my divorce cost well over $70,000. From what I hear, inflation will add to this substantially. Remember you will pay for everything (including her lawyer fees) - WHY? Because your wife does not work. Everything you work for is considered communal property.
You absolutely will pay alimony. The general rule that I learned in my painful process is take your salary add to this a proforma salary for your wife at minimum wage. Divide by two and that is your alimony. So if you earn 70K, and add the minimal wage that you wife could make, lets say $10,000. That is $80,000. Divide by two, you will be paying $40,000 for year for life. That is your risk and if it went to court that is what you are facing. You may be able to negotiate less, but because you are paying for your lawyer, and her lawyer, there is no reason to come to a settlement.
I hoped I scared the fu*(ing Sh*& out of you. If you want to go further let me know.
Keep in mind the old addage: Why are divorces so expensive?
Because they are worth every penny... I really mean this.
God bless.
BTW, if you see my picture in my profile with my daughter and new wife, you will understand that as painful as this is, at least for me it was worth every penny.
I resist the idea of divorce...
Marriage to an active JW is no picnic.
You can't fix a marriage without a clearly defined point where unacceptable conduct will end the relationship. Period.
This goes for both men and women.
Stillin you have a PM.
