Good advice
Sadly, fading is bad for my marriage
by stillin 62 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
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steve2
If you were a woman, I'd suggest you develop more of a spine within the relationship; doormats are useful products but you are worth more than that. Besides, you're a man - so I'd suggest you develop your balls more so you are able to assert yourself within the relationship.
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KateWild
You are the man, you have a penis, therefore you will never NEVER be the hero. Courts are very biased towards women, because of what I explained. If you want to be the good guy in the breakup you need to get this out of your head. You are worse than dirt. Your first meeting with a judge will confirm this.-NEWYORK
What happened with me then? He got the lot!!!!! The judge was on his side.
Kate xx
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NewYork44M
Kate, I feel sorry for you, but I wish I had that judge. The court system is extremely flawed.
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stillin
What NY says is what I hear, too.
sure, just lay out my b#lls on the table and watch them get mashed. Did I mention that she is the bookkeeper for my business, as well as my tax preparer?
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jgnat
Well, it's time to divest her of those duties. One step at a time.
No-one should feel trapped. Change the game so you have freedom.
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TD
sure, just lay out my b#lls on the table and watch them get mashed.
It's not an easy choice. Obviously you don't want to end your marriage, (Who does?) but your spouse needs to know that you mean business. And I'm not talking about bluster, ultimatums or behaving badly yourself here. If it's patently obvous that the comfort that even a bad marriage provides is preferable to going through the finanical hell of a divorce, (And there are lots of subtle ways that message gets conveyed...) then nothing will change.
Did I mention that she is the bookkeeper for my business, as well as my tax preparer?
What jgnat said.
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steve2
sure, just lay out my b#lls on the table and watch them get mashed. Did I mention that she is the bookkeeper for my business, as well as my tax preparer?
Oh, my friend, one should never submit oneself on a table for emasculation at the hands of a woman - unless it is all part of consensual mutual pleasuring ...but that's quite a different subject. As for her being the bookkeeper, in the world I inhabit the wage earner is way more important a role than the bookkeeper.
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friendaroonie
How do you tell a man to have some balls without sounding insulting?
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TD
How do you tell a man to have some balls without sounding insulting?
Maybe like this?
Men excel at high level conflict. We like shouting matches. We like pistols at dawn, fists and swords. We like bullets, bombs and explosions. High level conflict is completely useless in relationships with those we love.
We do not excel at low level conflict. In fact most of us suck at it. And low level conflict exists in every human relationship especially with those we love.
If you're willing to redraw the boundaries in a relationship over and over and over to accomodate the other peson, then steadily, little by little the relationship will become lobsided to the point of ridiculousness.
A man needs to learn the art of enforcing his boundaries in a kind and loving way without being a jackass.