Hello...Hello...Hello (cont) #3

by Prisca 97 Replies latest social relationships

architect101

Thanks for the welcome...will try and post as often as I can and try to keep up with everyone.
somebody

alias,
sorry that I thought you were a male.

glad to here that your marriage survived. It must be hard for couples who are in a situation where one is active, and one isn't. that certainly must make for one added strain.
peace,
somebody
ps...welcome to all you new folks!
peaceloveharmony

i also want to welcome all the newbies. it's so great...this board is growing and growing. i love it.
grunt:
you said: and wouldn't go back for all the world (or Paradise Earth for that matter)
that sums up my feelings exactly, in fact i recently told this to my very active, married to an elder sister (who shuns me) in a letter. she didn't like that very much! oh well...
anyway--welcome newbies!!
love harmony
mgm

Grüezi
Welcome to all the new ones.
My parents became witnesses when I was 10 years old. My father made a fast "carriere" in the "truth". I was never eager in the "truth" (can't stand to hear that expression anymore :-))
I always had a lot of doubts, which I kept for myself..for the well known reasons..some years ago, I start to read books, surf in the Internet and so on about everything concerning JW.
My wife started to miss the love in the meeting and made some bad experiences with so called brothers.
I had some hart discussions with my father, until he realised, that it could be dangerous for himself to loose the faith. We sent a letter to our meeting, informing them that we wanna have a break. Since then, my family cut contact with us. They say, we are a bad influence. This is hard for us and for our little kid. After all we know about JW, there is no way back for us anymore. We are thinking to be df soon.
I lost faith into the bible and the god of the bible...our kid miss the meetings and friends there sometimes..but enjoy the new freedom and time we got for each other..
the time will heal all wounds...bye
NikL

Hi,
I am gatting the idea that this thread is for newbies and not about sex.(sigh) Oh well, I am a newbie and thought I would introduce myself.
I was NOT raised a JW but chose it when I was in 5th grade when I became friends with a JW kid. My parents were very liberal and let me choose my own course. They figured if they tried to stop me it would only make things worse. They were probably right. I think the sence of persecution that the JWs live with (and in many cases bring apon themselves) make them cling to the org all the more.
Anyway, I was never a pillar in the cong. though I was sincere in my devotion to the religion. I got married and a few years later I started questioning certain teachings. I did a lil investigating and the rest is history. The unfortunate thing is that my wife is still a faithful follower and it makes for some hard situations. Ah well no one said marriage was supposed to be easy.
Anyway, thats MY life in a nutshell.
Hope I didn't bore you too much :-)
Grunt

The last thing any of your posts are is boring. Thanks to all of you for the snapshots into your situations.
neyank, my son introduced me and I wound up buying about three, gave all those away and had to buy more! I always tend to give away things I really like, I bet I have given four or five copies of the Lewis and Clark Expedition, just gave away a book on Cortez's experiences in Mexico. Boomerangs are a lot of fun and a lot more difficult to make come back right to you than I realized! I have one that goes WAY out there and several others including a three bladed quick catch. Got them from Colorado Boomerangs I believe it was. Do you have some?
Please pardon the sidetrip into boomerang country.
CPiolo

Hello All:
I thought I’d throw my two cents in. I’m another refugee from H2O as well. What’s happened to the place since the move anyway? Seems the quality of the posts has taken a drastic dip.
Anyway, I’m not a JW, never have been, never will be. What’s my interest then? I’m married to one. When we met (in South America where I was working at the time), my then girlfriend wasn’t a JW, and had been inactive for 6-8 years. She let me know early on she’d been a Witness, but reassured me she wasn’t going to return. I probably should have run as fast as I could, but I was quite naive regarding Witness beliefs, even though I I had dated an unbaptized but active Witness before.
The relationship progressed, we married, had a child, and due to economics, moved to the U.S. Shortly thereafter, my wife returned to the organization. I made all the typical mistakes someone who isn’t intimately familiar with Witness beliefs could make -- pointed out logical fallacies, asked about the failed prophecies (I was in high school in 1975 and remember all the hullabaloo and the deriding jokes afterwards), past doctrines that had done others harm (the ban on vaccinations and organ transplants), and so on. Of course this hasn’t helped our relationship.
I continue to discuss and research the organization with the hope that someday my wife will see the light (and that’s not new light) and leave. As well, I maintain contact with a couple of others in the same situation. That way, we all have an understanding shoulder to cry on. My greatest difficulty has been accepting that my wife belongs to an organization that promotes intolerance of people like me and all my close friends and family (non-Witnesses). I’ve always had a difficult time with bigotry, but this is my first experience being the object of It by someone close to me. I don’t believe my wife sees this aspect of Witness belief, and I find this amazing as well; that an otherwise intelligent person could so easily ignore that her religion teaches that God is soon to destroy all her family and friends, apart from those new Witness acquaintances she has made, and that we are all bad associations, not to be trusted, not worthy of friendship, and to be avoided as much as possible if not trying to convert us.
I am a native Californian and we currently live in Southern California (I noticed a couple of other Californians as well). Anyway, I’ve ranted long enough.
Peace and blessings,
CPiolo
DannyBear

Hello CP,
I agree H20 has lost its luster, for many reasons. Glad you came over.
I never really had a full picture of your circumstance until this post. You have a real dilema on your hands, eh? Hope that your wife will someday see the light. It appears the WTBS can no longer keep us quiet, no matter how much they decry the internet as tool of Satan...they still must maintain their own website, and sell used CO/DO cars on Circuit Leasing.com. What a joke...they just can't have their cake...blah blah...can they?
Simon has put together a little community of some very decent folks, very little rankor or name calling going on around here. I like it. I was over the limit of nastiness quotas at H20. Lets hope we newbies do not disturb this atmosphere...I know I will.
Regards,
DannyBear
Ps I wasn't infering that you ever have been nasty CP...just another comment on H20. Whew
CPiolo

DannyBear:
Yeah, I've got myself quite a diemna. My biggest concern is for my son. I hope he doesn't get pulled in and indoctrinated by my wife. If he learns a bit about logic and reasoning, he should be out of danger. But, emotions are strange and powerful forces and have caused more than a few to ignore the logical and reasonable.
The saddest part, is my wife's beliefs, the atmosphere of confession, and her going to elders for advice about our relationship puts a big damper on what I share with her. It creates a distance between us that prevents our marriage being what I'd like it to be. If I were to be completely honest with her and she went to the elders, depending on who they are, and I really don't want to roll the dice at this moment, they could advise her to leave me or divorce me as a spiritual danger.
Basically, my wife is a very good person who tries her best to do what's right. The problem is she isn't allowed to follow her own conscience as to what that may be. It must come from the Faithful and Discreet Slave. She's kind, generous, and loving, and that makes up for much, but I still yearn for more -- someone whose ideas, thoughts, and point of view I respect (and not necessarily agree with). Unfortunately, I have to constantly put what ever she says through the WT filter to she if she's speaking or just parroting the party line.
Peace,
CPiolo
P.S. If you're able, could you enlighten me a bit as to why H2O lacks its previous luster. I haven't seen many posts by the logicians (AF, Farkel, COMF, etc.), although Norm has kept up his series of articles.
Grunt

Hi CPiolo,
I really enjoyed your post and envy you your travels. I'd love to see South America. Sounds as though you were in a nest of Witnesses even in high school. Please forgive me if I am putting my nose where it doesn't belong, but I think you are fortunate to have your wife. She sounds like a quality individual:
"my wife is a very good person who tries her best to do what's right. The problem is she isn't allowed to follow her own conscience as to what that may be. It must come from the Faithful and Discreet Slave. She's kind, generous, and loving, and that makes up for much"
If you look at the numbers there is an EXTREMLY good chance that without any interferance she will "fall away." With you there as a loving and understanding person who displays a lot of the qualities that the Witnesses don't, openmindedness and such, her chances are better than ever. If she is close to the people in your hall then if it is possible I would move. You said,
"her going to elders for advice about our relationship puts a big damper on what I share with her. It creates a distance between us that prevents our marriage being what I'd like it to be."
To me my marriage would come first. If there are other reasons too I would use them, if not I would tell her that I felt estranged and wanted to be closer. A move away from controlling family or religion can help, I did it. It helped a whole bunch. I gained about twenty pounds off the Cajun cooking, but it was good for my marriage. It might make her turn to you more and it could be that she wouldn't connect with a new congregation or have a desire to tell private matters to the new elders. I would also take her on as many trips and such as possible, maybe do some things on a regular basis that would keep her away from the meetings, camping, bowling, something that put her around someone besides Witnesses. If you can think of something that she loves, all the better. Maybe her having already been out would help. I would not, repeat would not, argue about religion with her. I was the "Believing Mate" and my biggest regrets in life are the fusses I had with my wife over my religion. No matter what she said, I drug it back to the trinity, hell-fire, the paid clergy, racism in other churches. It did no good and was bad for us and for my kids. I imagine you have done plenty of that already. She is going to have to see it for herself. You can't do it for her though your understanding and the love you feel for her can help tremendously.
I was blessed with a wonderful wife who stuck by me through all of it and I can't begin to tell you how much I appreciate it now. She was the good Christian, I was the narrow minded cult member who knew it all and really knew nothing. I admire her so much for putting up with me and compromising with me. I was advised by the elders to demand more in regards to my children, but I did compromise with my wife. Maybe your wife will to for your son. If not, that is a tough one. The less he goes the better, the more time you spend with him and your wife the better. What happens now could affect him later. I have temporarily lost a daughter, she didn't go in until she was in college and married, and I pray for the same thing I told you above. So many drop out, please God, let her be one. I am trying to be kind, understanding, never talk about religion (which is easy as I so rarely see her, weddings, reunions and such) I did refuse to allow her to disfellowship me and made a bit of a scene about it which did make things better, long story. Still, since then I have tried to be real passive and wait hoping for the best. I wish you all the best, and the same for your wife and son. If you can get past it, it is just one more bond you and your wife will share, one more hurdle you will have overcome together. Good luck.
Grunt
P.S. I used to live in Escondido, California, loved the area, Ramona also. Once again, best wishes for all of you

Hello...Hello...Hello (cont) #3

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