Hello...Hello...Hello (cont) #3 (page 7)

normie67

Larc!!!!! Dead on bro....thats my Ideal situation, but trying to support a wife(no kids) and go to school..kinda tuff.I am goin to give it a shot, but a little nervous about takin that first step ya know???
Thanks Larc

DriveslikeJehu

Hi Normie, thanx for the props.
One thing I noticed about the change in the faithful slave's position on college was that it wasn't really necessary at first. Back then, you could still get a decent job and support yourself with just a HS diploma.
But now, times are different. Even working full-time, it's almost impossible to support yourself without a college education, and the faithful slave realized that. And that point isn't just brought out in the magazines. My HS counselors even bugged me about it, but to a much greater degree.[>:(]

larc

normie,

I would recomend starting with one evening class, which will require attendance two nights a week. Take a class that looks interesting, one that yoiu would enjoy, whether you ever got a dgree or not. With all the discipline you learned as a Witness, you will be pleasantly surprised at how well you will do. JAVA started at the age 40, while working full time and now has a master's degree. Just think of it as your personal pioneering program to improve yourself.

DLJ,

Years ago you could get an adequate job without a high school degree. Why, however, should a high school valedictorian get an average job when they could get a good one? Both my sister and one of my cousins were valedictorians and never went to college. What a shame!

normie67

To Larc and DLJ
Thanks for responding.But DriveslikeJehu, I am in an interesting position with the College thing.It has only been 15 yrs since I graduated.The economy in the States has been Awesome!!No this College thing is all about knowledge outside of Mother(org)!!Thgey realized window washers and janitors could not make it in Good Economy!!

All Comes down to Control within the Borg
Heres Normie feelin' like a WTBTS Pawn!!!!!!!
normie

PS
Larc...I coulda beena Valedictorian!!!!!!!!!!(i.e. Rocky)

larc

Hey normie,

I coulda beena valedictorian too, but I had more important things to do like playing baseball and hunting for and selling golf balls. I graduated 12th in my class. Hey, 12th out 13 students ain't bad!

CurlyQT

Hey all,

Ok, I have finally decided to sit down and take the time to share a little more details regarding my background.
I was born and raised Jehovah's Witness by my very close, very stubborn, and large, Italian family. I have 3 younger sisters and one younger brother. My father serves to this day as the PO of the Layton congregation here in Utah. I was baptized at a District Convention in Denver Colorado when I was thirteen. To this day that experience was a very spiritual and amazing experience and I take it very seriously. But not in the way that you would think. That day still reminds me that my relationship with God is between me and him, and how precious that is. I did dedicate my life. I dedicated it to experience, love and learning as much as I can from the life that I have so lovingly been offered freely. And every day I try to remember that each moment is another opportunity to be able to learn more about my creator. Anyways, on with the story... (Sorry, I went off on a tangent there)... Ok, oh yeah... now I remember where I was... Anyways, After my baptism I auxiliary pioneered for a while off and on while attending my Jr. High school. After finishing the 8th grade, my parents asked me about trying out home schooling and beginning my spiritual career as a Regular Pioneer. I was fifteen at the time. Of course, being the daughter of a very proud father, and being Daddy's little girl, I felt the obvious pressure to follow that path. Which actually at the time didn't sound too bad. And proved to be a good experience... one that if given the opportunity to change a little I probably would but none the less, a good experience. I truly enjoyed being a pioneer. I had so much fun. My pioneer partner and I would often take off by ourselves and go do our own "ministry"... which most of the time consisted of, a Dr. Pepper Big Gulp and nacho from seven eleven and the radio blasting (usually something like Led Zeppelin, or Aerosmith), windows down driving down the freeway, wind blowing through our long hair to that perfect return visit that just happened to be a fourty five minute drive away out in the middle of nowhere. Those were good times. :) Dad paid the car payment along with my insurance... all expenses paid, and all I had to do was just go out and talk with people. I never was the type to tell people how they SHOULD or SHOULDN'T believe... although most of the time I thought it behind their backs. Every once in a while I found it amusing to get into a heated argument with one of the householders regarding the beliefs of hell or the trinity (Two of my favorite bible bashing topics). We would often flirt with the mormon missionary's that were working our area as well. IT WAS AWESOME! Life was good. And then one day my dad got this idea that we should all pick up and leave our perfect little life and move out to Utah to where the need was great. So in October of 1995, we moved to Layton, Utah. I have to admit it was hard to be a teenager and then have to be moved to a new place with new people, most of which I had never met. But I adjusted ok. I made some really neat friends... fell in love... which ended in heartbreak... never did end up with the guy (WITNESS BOYS ARE TOTALLY CLUELESS AS TO THE ART OF INTERRACTING WITH THE FEMALE SPECIES). And in the late summer of ninety six I began a new job at a call center in Layton doing technical support for Prodigy Online Service. It was the first environment where I was completely surrounded by the "enemy". At least that's what I thought. Until the second week I was there and I caught eyes with the most intriguing, beautiful, amazing person I had ever seen or met. That very moment, I knew that there was going to be trouble. We started talking... and eventually I was totally in love with one of the most spiritual people I had ever met... only one problem, he wasn't Jehovah's Witness. In fact, he wasn't any religion at that time... raised LDS but excommunicated due to his "Independent Beliefs". So, here I was, head over heels with an "Unbeliever" and a regular pioneer in the congregation. It was an innocent relationship though... at that time I didn't have a clue about anything other then a completely innocent relationship. We would email each other through the evenings...Instant Message people into the late nights... most of the time it would just be light flirting with a lot of deep discussions about our beliefs. He started asking me questions about unconditional love. And the fact that witnesses didn't believe in modern day prophesy, and yet, they had a body of men who, through the holy spirit determined how everyone in the religion should or should not live. And with each question I started realizing that this whole time I thought I had all the answers to everything, I really had absolutely no clue what I was talking about. All I had was one perspective of something that was so much larger then what I had been taught and what I had learned and lived my entire life. So I started studying other things... a lot of metaphysical and philisophical books... a lot of things from the Buddhist, and Taoist beliefs. I even read the book Conversations with God... which is an extremely interested book for those looking to see another perspective into this life. And I started realizing that there was so much out there that the only possible way for me to find the "True" way to live my life was to follow my heart. During this period of self discovery I was still very confused... My father had found out about my "Wordly association" and never ceased telling me how evil that they were and how no matter how nice they were or how much they were in to God and Spirituality they would still die in the end. Which just sat wrong with me. But, because my dad knew what he was talking about and I trusted him instead of my heart, I decided that it would be better if I separated myself from this new found love, and from these things that I was starting to look at. And so I did. I stopped associating so much with my new friends and started trying to get back into the religion... although very hard because at that point, it was all I could do to actually sit there at meetings and in service listening to things that for so long I had believed in and seeing them for what they were. And during that time, I started studying even more... studying the scriptures... Studying my own beliefs... meditating... praying... and the more I learned the more my eyes were opened to the endless possibilities that were out there. And so I decided to live my life the way I wanted... I was still attending meetings... fulfilling my responsibilities as a pioneer but my heart wasn't in it anymore... So I decided to step down. My reasoning was because I wanted to pursue other things in my life. And when I told this to the elder I had my meeting with... all he expressed was his disaproval of my reasoning, as if he believed I had committed some horrible sin that was the underlying reason. (WHAT A PRICK! I'm sorry, he is the one elder that was a total hypocrite and hated me from the first day he met me, no matter what I was doing right... it was always wrong in his eyes... very arrogent... and ignorant. So forgive me for the disrespect...). Anyways, So I stopped pioneering and started working full time. Eventually I was getting so independent that my father (Can you say control? Manipulation?) tried getting me to move back to Colorado with my extended family. Of course, this is family that never called or cared until they actually heard rumors that I was having problems. So I could just feel the love dripping from every word. And so I decided to take a trip out to Colorado and spent a month there... I read all day long... Continued to study and continued to pray... and more and more my eyes were opened. I had a whole new respect for this life and for every living creature around me. It was a very humbling experience. And so, I came back to Utah, convinced that I would continue living day by day and see what life would throw out there for me. When I got back my Dad went into control freak out mode... he said that I could not return to work and live under his roof. Well it just so happened that there was another brother and sister in the congregation who rented out their basement. And it had opened up. So, I decided to move out. Which pissed off my dad even more... so he told me that I couldn't take my car with me because he had paid for it. So instead of buy into his game, I went to the bank, got a car loan, and bought the car from him. I moved out the following week... CAN YOU SAY FREEDOM?
It was awesome. No more answering to my father for being absent at the meetings... or why I wasn't in field service on Saturday morning. YADA YADA YADA... It was a hard time... I was on my own... after living in a household of seven people, going to a lonely apartment is quite an adjustment. I quit going to meetings totally. And I resumed my relationship with the person I had fallen in love with who had now become my best friend. I owe a lot of my sanity to him. He helped me through an incredible amount of stress... and he never turned his back. I lived on my own for approximately a year before I started getting the unending calls from brothers I had never met before, asking about me... telling me that they were worried for me... yada yada yada... wondering if we could meet. Telling me to pray (if they only knew). Then one of them mentioned that they had heard rumors that I was pregnant... so against better judgement I went to the meetings... (I was sick of them calling every few hours). Had a judicial meeting called and they decided to disfellowship me.
I'm sorry if this is getting monotonous... but I'm getting to the end I promise. :) The night that I went to talk to my family about my Disfellowshipping, my parents had already stripped the walls of my pictures... and the last words I heard out of their mouths as I walked out the door stripped of my housekeys as a common criminal, was, "The Gwen we loved has died". And with that it was over. My parents gave me a watchtower about the prodigal son, as well as a nice little poem about a women who ended up being a battered wife with aids because of her choices in life and sent me on my way.
I have been living my life independantly since then... studying when I can... living the best life I can... and continuing on this journey called life. Am I happy? Yes... under all of it, Yes I can honestly say I'm happy... I have good days and bad days but overall I'm free and there is no feeling like that in the world. Do I hate my family? Nope... I respect them for having their beliefs and living them so strictly. There are times when I get angry. yes I am angry. But I have a family of my own. Am I a battered wife with AIDS? Nope. I have a sexy, caring wonderful man that I plan to marry in June of this year and a beautiful 7 month old daughter who has opened my eyes even further as to the beauty that this life has to offer. I have tried to keep my parents and family updated as to my whereabouts and my life events. I've sent pictures of their first granddaughter, without response. Recently, I received a phone call from my sister... which was the most amazing miracle. My sister and I have always been close, and she has finally figured out her own "Truth" along with my brother and they have moved out of my fathers controlling house and his manipulative grip. And they are now back in my life again, loving being an Aunt and Uncle. My brother is going to walk me down the aisle in June at my wedding. I hope that one day the rest of my family will see past the dogma and realize that we are a family again. Who knows if that will happen? I can only hope. Until then, I will continue to live my life.
And with that, I leave you all for the evening. If you made it to this point thank you for hanging out. I know it's a little long winded.

G

CurlyQT

AAAHHH!!! Well now that you know my whole life story... sorry all for taking up an entire page with the details of my insignificant little life. ;)

CIAO
G

SixofNine

Thanks for getting personal Curly, that is a heart wrenching story. I only wish it had been a beautiful woman who had opened my own eyes, as opposed to the internet. That would make my story a heck of alot more interesting . But hey, either way.

May I make a suggestion? Send the words you posted here to your parents, along with a short list of the "big" doctrinal issues and organizational issues that your concience just can't take. Don't be specific enough that they can see it as apostate work. I say this because, what have you got to loose? I think the sooner a family realizes that one is NEVER coming back, because the org is wrong in their eyes, the sooner they can soften a bit. I'm fortunate in not having to confront that so far.

Anyway, it was moving, perhaps it will be for them.

happytobefree

Curly QT,

Thanks for your wonderful story. May your life of freedom continue. Your story has made my day, my week. I know the joy of getting your sibling back into your life. I was blessed this week with my sister telling me that she planned on not returning to the KH.

I look forward to hearing more about you and your family.

Happy to be Free (Me)

CPiolo

CurlyQT:
Thanks for sharing your story. It's heart-wrenching, but it appears you've got a good head on your shoulders, and someone who loves you. The fact that some of your siblings have seen through the manipulation and resumed contact is a blessing as well. I'm not a Witness, and so the shunning aspect of the religion is one of the most difficult to understand (that and refusing life-saving blood), as well as one of the most detestable. I wish you luck in the future and best wishes for your upcoming wedding.

Peace and blessings,
CPiolo

Edited by - CPiolo on 21 February 2001 11:27:50

Hello...Hello...Hello (cont) #3

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