by rebel8 91 Replies latest members adult
Knorr went after the singles and the married, his anti-oral sex stance caused so much grief among couples I knew back then they literally were scared of doing it wrong. Having Knorr pop into your fantasy life was the ultimate bummer.
I see these contemporary Evangelicals and their anti-feminism anti-sex legislation agenda in the same light as Knorr and Franz's old uptight world screwing with young peoples emotional development.
Let's just say this topic made my puberty hell. Because of the way the WTS talks about sex it gave me the idea that sex must be something horrible, terrible, gross and disgusting, but because I started masturbating at age 9 (not having a clue that it was something bad) I felt awful when I found out I shouldn't. Like Witness My Fury said, I tried so hard to stop it, made promises to Jehovah... and could never keep them. The guilt I felt, and the fear, since I was sure I wouldn't be saved in Armageddon because of my 'filthy and egoistic' habit.
When I got married the first time, age 18, the first six weeks we had sex nearly everyday and after that it sort of imploded. I didn't like it, didn't want it and just thought "is this IT???" I had expected so much more of it, thought it would become better after a couple of weeks, but it didn't. All that talk about 'saving' your sexuality for your husband... what a load of crap! The sex sucked, but the only alternative I had was going back to masturbation again. Which I did. And then I felt double guilty, towards Jehovah and towards my husband, because of course I didn't tell him. And to make things worse, he would always want me to 'relieve' him if I didn't want sex, so I had to do a 'Willie and the handjive' on him, which made me feel awful also, because then I was sort of masturbating him too! The guilt just built and built...
Another problem was the sexual fantasies... I couldn't have an orgasm without having a fantasy. But he always wanted to know what I was thinking about. I didn't want to tell him, it was too embarrassing, but he used to insist. So I often told him something I made up instantly, never told him the real thing. But I always felt guilty about it. Guilty for lying, guilty for having fantasies, guilty for masturbating... Not to mention guilty for him touching me before we got married, guilty for oral sex, guilty for using sex toys...
So for me sex was just one big disillusion and nothing but GUILT in capitals.
With my new husband things are much better. He is a very attractive guy and I do like sex with him. It's just that the feelings of guilt have never left, it's ingraned in my brain... and that makes it difficult for me to 'give myself', there's always a part of me that cannot let go of the control, afraid that I get carried away in the heat of the moment and that I'll do things I will regret (whatever that may be...?).
The WTS (and my sexually abusive father) made sex a struggle for me, up until today. I really wished I could see sex as something natural and just go with the flow and enjoy it... they took that from me since I was a very young girl!
And thats what I like about JWN...we can discuss any ssubject!...How liberating!!!!!!!!!!!!
Julia. You angel!
I think one of the best quotes on it is Woody Allen's "At least it is sex with someone you love."
So what is acceptable foreplay for a JW?
They preach against petting amongst unmarrieds, saying that it leads to full sex, so they must be aware that foreplay is necessary prior to sex. Can you kiss someone all over providing you ignore their naughty bits?
"At least it is sex with someone you love."
Hm... but after you hear that you're hated for it, the love of yourself tends to fade...
I have gotten grief from my kids about this, that it left them scared and scarred.
I have apologized for raising them in the 'truth' many times, and I let them rant.
And I agree with all who have posted here; they put the guilt in early about masturbation, something most can't do much about changing, it is natural and satisfies a powerful urge.
Just another example of the anti-social and damaging things about Jehovah's witnesses leadership.
Another Woody Allen quote: "Stop knocking my hobbies!"
In JW land, the 1st rule of foreplay is dont talk about foreplay...
