Hi all. This is my first post here.
I was raised in "The Truth", and am an ex-Bethelite who worked in Brooklyn for several years back in the 90's. A few years after I left Bethel, I started to become disillusioned after doing research about the society and reading Crisis of Conscience (I know..I wasn't supposed to do that lol). I eventually stopped attending meetings and going out in service. Somehow I was able to avoid getting DFed by moving my publisher's card around a couple of times due to moving. It's crazy but I kind of fell through the cracks. I think my status is technically "inactive" at this time. All of my friends are probably wondering whatever happened to me. It's been about 10 years now since I've faded.
I initially went through a really dark and confusing, isolated period of time that lasted several years. I thought I was losing my mind. It was rough to say the least. I was free but i wasn't completely FREE, if that makes any sense. At this point I was completely turned off by organized religion in general and thought it was all mind control. i didn't know what to believe in anymore. I felt physically liberated from all of the rules, meetings, field service, etc but I still felt like I was in a mental prison because there were too many questions now that needed to be answered.
In the past couple of years I've decided to read the Bible straight through, in context, independantly. When I was done, there was so much in there that I never knew before even though I've been reading it my whole life. The problem before was I was reading it out of context as a JW.
I've come to the conclusion that God is not some big man in the sky who is keeping score. He is out there but he also lives within us. He does not want religion. He just wants a relationship with his children until he returns. It's not about organizations or denominations. We have it all wrong when we try to institutionalize it all. Jesus is the central figure in the Bible. It all points to him. Jesus is Jehovah in human form and not a separate lesser entity as I was always taught. The father, son and holy spirit is not some 3 headed freakish trinity God but it is different aspects of a triune God. One God, 3 aspects with different attributes. He came in a diminished form as a human to die for us. He is not judgemental. We are saved through his grace and not by works. There is so much more that I can't mention all here.
I just want to share our crazy experience and where this has all ended up. My wife has also been along for the ride. I can't even describe what this feels like. Our outlook on life and how we view people and things is very different than it used to be. The truth (not "The Truth ® ") shall set you free!
Now I am wondering, is there anyone else here that has had this experience?
Thanks for reading!