Although generally people don't think that women can abuse.... we see by your post they can. I'm sorry this happened to you.. it is a shame. I'll be thinking of you at the march...
Country Girl
A Silent Ram
by DakotaRed 57 Replies latest jw friends
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Country Girl
Dakota:
I read your post and my heart breaks. Why do people continue to do these things to young children when to do this only ruins their lives? Don't they know that if you ruin someone elses life that you have to account to the big man? When someone takes sexual advantage of a very young person, their life is ruined forever. Who in their right mind would want to ruin the life of a yungun?
Country Girl
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joannadandy
Dakota, Thank you so much for sharing your story! I know that took a lot of courage to share something so personal on such a public forum.
I am so glad you did speak out tho! A friend of mine was molested by an older woman in his neighborhood, ever since I met him and heard his story I have always felt that the molestation that occurs to young boys does not get the same attention as that of girls being abused. Thank you thank you thank you for coming forward and sharing. I think if more people like yourself came forward to talk it could do wonders for this issue that so rarely gets talked about.
I also loved your point that molestors are not just JW's. I think on this board we sometimes forget that it is a worldwide epidemic that knows no religious, national, socio-economic, racial boundaries.
Very well written too, by the way...thanks so much again!
Edited by - joannadandy on 18 September 2002 19:37:50
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Scully
((((((((Dakota Red)))))))
What a dreadful secret you've carried with you all this time. Thank you for finding the courage to share it with us.
I don't know what it is about some people that make them cross the lines of affectionate contact and wander into the dark shadows of inappropriate behaviour, touching and even molesting and sexual abuse. When they do it to their own child, it's even more heinous, because if you can't trust mom or dad, and they tell you that everyone in "the world" is bad and evil and is only out to hurt you...... how does a child cope with that?
Love, Scully
Edited by - Scully on 18 September 2002 22:42:24
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Berean
Dakota Red
Wow. My prayers are with you brother. By the way . . . welcome home.
Berean
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crownboy
(((Dakota)))
What a sad story. Glad to see that you've recovered (mostly) from it, and that the cycle ended at you, and not further down. People should think about the SilentRams too, and your story shows why. Keep on recovering, and thanks for sharing .
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waiting
Hey Dakota,
Thank you for speaking up so frankly. I think one reason that women aren't suspected more often of child abuse is because society at large doesn't want to believe that mothers, aunts, grandmothers, etc., do the same things that fathers, uncles & grandfathers do. Somehow, women are perceived as more gentle, caring.
The more people speak out, the more reality sets in. Interestingly enough, I've read that most of abused children don't grow up to be abusers, thankfully.
My brother & I were abused by my father, brutally. My brother has no memories of my father except for one at age 8, playing baseball. He just put them away somewhere. He started drugs at age 13 and never stopped. Too bad, as he was very gifted. He did, however, abuse one child himself - my daughter. When he & I talked about it years later when I found out, he was crying & apologizing saying "I was so angry back then." I think he was being honest - he just didn't know about what.
According to one of my therapists, male survivors sometimes have a harder time adjusting to the abuse than females. Why? Because of the things you said - society doesn't want to accept totally the concept of a woman abusing, nor a boy/teenager not liking it. Stereotypes.
Books that helped me, dealing exclusively with male victims:
Come Here, by Richard Berendzen
Abused Boys, by Mic Hunter - I've never read accounts of abuse by mothers and fathers, & forced beastiality which mirrored so closely my memories of my father. At last, I found like souls. Lol........ain't that a crying shame, eh?
Take care - and wherever you land next.....enjoy it.
waiting
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DakotaRed
TS, thank you for sharing your poem. I read the lonliness I sometimes felt growing up in it.
Waiting, Scully and all, through my own reading is seems that although society is coming to grips with the matter of females being molested, they are having a hard time dealing with males molested by females. By some estimations, it is amongst the most under reported of crimes. All the sterotypes society has need to come down. Mothers that molest their sons or daughters need to be held just as accountable as fathers. Fortunately, mothers seem to be a minority, but being so under reported, who really knows?
I also thank you all for the kind emails I received, even the one who said I was an attention hog and "disgusting things are better left unsaid." Pedophiles crave that mentality and use it to continue their abuse and victimization of children.
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COMF
Wow, heavy-duty stuff, man. I already respected you from reading your posts here. That respect is increased now, with you having told your story in this straightforward manner.
