Suicide ends pain for many (page 5)

Tinkerbell4125

Mulan, why is this not the place to talk about this? Lord knows we talk about everything else here. It wasn't easy talking about my fathers suicide, but I felt it was important for Joel to hear all the aspects of it. The hard truth of what suicide entails and how ugly it is, letting him know that there are other options, that there is help out there. It's the attitude of yourself that shame survivors of suicide. If we can't discuss it here, then where and when can we discuss it? When is it ever a good time to discuss it? Would it be appropreiate to talk about my mothers cancer here? Would that be okay? Is it okay to talk about sexual abuse here? Is that okay? When is going to be okay for people to talk about depression and mental illness? When is it going to be okay for someone to discuss their pain of losing someone to suicide? Like I said in my other post. It's a grief that you grieve alone....and it's because people like you make such statements that make us feel ashamed. Believe me, we have enough pain and shame with what we've endured. We don't need extra dumped on us. Just something for you to think about.

Skeptic

Joelbear,

I can relate to what you are saying. I have dealt with suicidual people and seen their pain over a few years. Felt to an extent their pain and wondered which would truly be more loving: helping them through it by fair means or fowl, or just quietly letting them take their life.

You see, Joel, in Canada therapists tell you to let them take their life. Unless you catch them directly in the act; then you can intervene. But otherwise, you have to be willing to let them do it.

So far, I have opted for helping them through it even if I have to blackmail them and guilt then into staying alive.

Of the two individuals I focused on in the last few years, one is happy now and has pretty good self-esteem. Are there relapses? Certainly. But not like before. To help that individual, I paid a very, very high price. And I would pay it again.

The other individual is still always depressed and wants to commit suicide, but no longer attempts it. I paid a very high price for this one too. And I would do it again. I hope this individual will make progress, but I don't know. Only time will tell.

So, for now, I will say that it is worth the pain. But I have not yet reached a definitive conclusion.

Richard

Matty

So many people have worse problems than me.

That may be true, Joel, but those other people aint you. Sometimes you are gonna feel hopeless, that's just what happens, and there is always a valid reason, nobody would purposely choose to feel like that, so don't feel guilty about the way you feel. You should always know that there are loads of your buddies all over the world that really care about you Joel.

Mulan

No need to attack me Tinkerbell. You misunderstood what I said.

I didn't mean it isn't the place to talk about it. What I meant was that the things I wanted to say to Joel, I didn't feel comfortable talking to him publicly, so I did it in email.

I think we can talk about anything, but some things are private, so I email. No offense.

Edited by - mulan on 19 November 2002 14:2:16

dubla

Please show compassion and understanding toward those who take this option of last resort.

yes lets all show compassion for those that take the easiest and most selfish way out of dealing with their emotional problems.

aa

outoftheorg

Hello again Joelbear.

I read a few of your posts. It is clear that you are bearing scars from your time with the wbts cult. It is also clear that you are angry over all that was done to you and your life. You have every right to be angry.

Consider this. Are you willing to let those bastards push you into taking your life? After all they have done to you, are you willing to let them in effect kill you?

Imagine the thoughts some of the jw's will have if you do. He was an apostate. He was never any good. Are you going to give them something to gloat over? To hell with them. The best way to get past this is to not cave in to this grief. After all, the cult is behind a lot of the problems and grief you are feeling now.

Hang in there and show them up to be the liars they are by not giving up. Do whatever you need to survive. I know it is not easy. I have to remind myself of the good things in my life now every day. I must do this to push away the grief, sadness and self shame of being a pawn of the wbts.

You are angry yes but do not turn the anger on your self and your life. Use the anger wisely to help yourself. When all other emotions are spent the anger will still be there as a useable tool. I suggest that you get angry enough to not die in spite of all the shit they dumped on you.

Screw them, don't give them the satisfaction of killing your self.

Outoftheorg

Matty

yes lets all show compassion for those that take the easiest and most selfish way out of dealing with their emotional problems.

Thank you for that dubla, well now I know who to go to when I'm feeling down, when I'm at deaths door I'm sure you will pull me through!

blondie

I always remember the saying, "Keep suicide a question, it's not the answer."

But when you are very sad and nothing seems right, it can seem like the only way. That's when you have to get a second opinion and I don't mean talking to the person in the mirror. Chemically, things are happening that distort your thinking (and I don't mean bipolar).

The other saying I remember is, "Killing yourself is a permanent solution to a temporary problem."

In my lifetime I have been this sad. Getting out of a house of abuse did not immediately solve all my problems. I sought help from a non-witness in spite of the naysayers at the KH. I'm glad I did. It formed the basis of my new life.

So if you are sad enough to think about suicide, get help. Put that thought aside for the moment. It will be there waiting.

Blondie (who has the thought in her jewely box on her dresser)

dubla

matty-

my statement has nothing to do with trying to kick someone while theyre down. if joel wants people to talk to, he knows he has them here.........i was simply replying to elsewheres statement that basically made it sound like we should feel sorry for anyone and everyone whos ever committed suicide. now, while those people surely have had problems, and many pity-worthy problems no doubt, suicide is not the answer for anyone (again, excluding terminal illness), and it is the easy way out....quitting. i have no pity for someone who puts everyone whos ever loved them through immense pain and suffering simply because they dont want to deal with lifes problems anymore. this isnt about the problems behind the decision, its about the decision....big difference.

aa

Matty

OK, I understand what you mean, thanks for clarifying.

Suicide ends pain for many

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