Suicide ends pain for many

by joelbear 85 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Satanus

  Glad you are feeling better again, joel. Personally, i disagree w the medical profession's life at all costs dogma. I think euthenasia should be an option that could be discussed between the individual, family, friends, therapists etc. All factors in the individuals life should be considered, such as age, prognosis, degree of pain (physical or psychic), responsibilities, etc etc. No doubt, if this type of thing developed, there would be court cases.

  In this scenario, uethenasia would not be violent or painful. The transition to the other side could even be very pleasant, if the right drugs were preinjected. It would not be that much of a shock to family and friends. All could have the oportunity to say final goodbye's. Family and friends could be there on the sendoff, if they wanted.

  Having said all that, it seems to me that we choose much of our lives before we come to earth. Problems are like challenges we chose to overcome. If that is true, then if we fail to overcome, it may be that we will be faced w the same challenges in a future life. So, there may be no easy out, just a postponing. That's sort of my theory, anyway, for what it is worth.

  Personally, i enjoy your highly intelligent and insiteful posts.

  SS
• 

  meadow77

  It is interesting to note that the scriptures are quite silent on the subject of suicide. Clearly the WTS has used this and depression as another way to make people feel guilty for being weak minded. I have read the numerous accounts of people (especially here) who were first made to feel depressed by the WTS and then alienated because of their depression. I believe many religions believe that suicide is the ultimate unforgivable sin for obvious reasons, but Jesus never stated that. It seems that dying by taken your own life would be no more damning than if you died while in the state of some other sin, or without having asked for forgiveness of your sins. Unless your catholic, that is not the logic christians subscribe to. Once you accept christ as your personal savior there is nothing tha can seperate you from his love. And surely if you died sinning, having accepted christ, you would be forgiven. Having said that, suicide is never a good option. Many who have suffocated under the weight of a depression monster understands how gloomy the future appears. However anyone who has found mercy in the lap of Abba(daddy) father knows that healing can come. YOur merciful and loving father sent us a comforter for such times as this and it is only the enemy that would encourage you to not call upon him. I also would leave my email open to anyone who needs a shoulder to cry on. My door is always open just like my heavenly Fathers.
• 

  LDH

  Hello Joel.

  I have been pretty scarce lately, but saw this and wanted to tell you that I love you, friend.

  You may call anytime if you kept my number or just email me yours.

  Lisa
• 

  Satanus

  Another option, that has worked miracles for some, is hypnotherapy. They can regress one to the roots of problems. Once they are reexperienced, in the present, from an adult perspective, often the whole problem vaporizes. It only takes a few sessions, sometimes just one, to get results. I have read a few books on this, and would go for it once i get the money together.

  SS
• 

  lisaBObeesa

  Joel,

  I have always enjoyed your posts. I always read threads I see are started by you FIRST. Really. I wish I saw your posts more often these days.

  I am so sorry you are so depressed right now. I have been feeling like crap, too. I keep hanging on to the idea that it is gonna get better. I know it will. I know I will climb out of this pit. I am getting some prof. help because I wasn't doing well on my own. *sigh*. I am gonna get out of this dark place. You can too, I know it.

  Hugs to you, Joel!

  Your talking about 'the mask' made me think of this web page below. I really like this page. I can't remember how I stumbled on it, but the lady who put it up is a JW.

  Take care of yourself,

  -LisaBObeesa, fan of Joelbear and his posts.

  m
• 

  breeze

  Gettin ready for da meeting.....joelbear

  Edited by - breeze on 19 November 2002 21:22:50
• 

  gumby

  I'm glad I read most of the comments BEFORE posting. I though Joel was just plain sick of life being a REAL PAIN IN THE ASS!!

  I feel like many times of just not being here as life seems to have more struggles than benifits. Other days Im loving life. Winter sucks for me.

  I thought Joel was perhaps not able to deal with being Gay or depressed.....and the whole time it was guilt imposed by the dirty stinkin frickin dubs! Another example of the EXTREEM danger this sick CULT imposes on good people!

  I am GLAD to hear this is your reason as it is "fixable". Major depression sometimes is not.
• 

  MrMoe

  Joel - Hey hun.

  Matty is right, it's your life, you live it, and the fact that other people have issues, too, has nothing to do with you.

  You know, it's OK to feel hopeless. It's OK to feel like giving up. It's OK to be depressed, feel black and dark, and all that other stuff... Just like it is OK to feel warm, happy, and grateful to be alive.

  Your feelings, your emotions, are a part of YOU. It is what makes you such a feeling person. And regardless if you are aware of this or not, and even though we may just be some people on the internet, there are many folks here who care about you VERY much, me included.

  You know what I do when I am feeling dark? I enjoy it. Call me nuts or a little crazy ('cause u better believe I am) I LIKE dark rainy days and depressing music. There is beauty in sadness, same as thier is beauty in joy. Life is full of highs and lows, why not savor them all?

  Emotions are not predictable, and neither is the life you live. But one thing darling you CAN count on is that you have one huge heart and you are a step above the rest.
• 

  CoolBreeze

  Joel,

  I've read your posts in the past and we've exchanged a few. All though no one here knows your circumstances as well as you do, I think I know at least the general direction your coming from.

  I've been at this point questioning the pros and cons of continued existence right after my divorce. I was bitter, dissapointed, and pissed off at the injustises I saw heaped upon my life. The more people tried to reasure me of the value of my continued existence the less I heard. From my perspective they all sounded so insincere. No matter what they said, all I heard was their desperate need not to have my death on their concience. They sounded so selfish.

  I was pissed that all the hard work I had put into this life had just seemd to have gotten me nowhere, and all of these selfish assholes who wanted me to continue to suffer so they wouldn't have to deal with my death. It felt like they were just trying to lay one more guilt trip on me that I didn't need. I was ready for it all to end.

  I decided that the one concession I would make to the feelings of my friends and family, was that I would do it somewhere that where a stranger would find me, and notify the authorities. I went to a public park in a nearby town with a full bottle of valium with the intent of taking the whole thing.

  While I was sitting on a bench in the park looking at the bottle of pills I saw a little boy of about two or three plaing in the grass. No toys or anything, just running around and sometimes spinning in circles. I noticed him mom standing a ways off. She looked to be a piece of work, torn nasty looking clothes, hair that looked it hadn't been washed in a week. She looked like she was trying to do a drug deal or something with some biker guys.

  I looked at the little boy and thought "What a stupid little fuck, doesn't even have a clue what a load of shit life has in store for him, if he did we wouldn't be having such a great time." Then I looked at him again, and thought he doesn't care because he doesn't know. His skanky ass mom is off trying to score some dope, he probably lives in some hell hole dive, but he's running and spinning and has a huge ass grin on his face. This kid was happy for no reason whatsoever I could see.

  That's when things started to make sense to me a little bit to me. I can't realy describe it, but I sort of realized what people who meditate mean when the talk about "living in the now". This kid was definatley living in the now.

  Focus on the things that bring you pleasure right now and do them. For me at that moment it was going to the nearest fast food joint and eating the biggest greasiest cheesburger I could get, and thinking just how good it tasted. I decided not to worry about my happiness tomorrow or the next day, or the day after that. Fuck tomorrow, because today is all you have have. Everytime I slide down into that dark place, I think about what I can do to bring myself a little pleasure and then focus on it, and tomorrow will take care of it's self.

  I'm not saying that is the right thing for you Joel. I just wanted you to know I've been there too. I haven't shared this part of my life with anyone here before, but thought it might be of some help. My email is open dude, drop me a note with your phone number and we can talk.

  Anton
• 

  LyinEyes

  yCoolbreeze , that was a very touching experience you shared. I too have felt that way, just looking at my kids and thinking about how much the little things in life can be beautiful again. I am so much happier now that I give myself some time to act like a kid, even thou I am 35 yrs old. Being raised JW, many of us never had a real childhood or had the fun of being a real teen.
  I think your advice of Joel, doing something just for the pure satisfaction of it is right on. No matter what it might be for each person, make it what is special for you. Just give yourself time to think that it is ok to think of yourself and do something just for you.

  I am glad Cool , you werent in that park alone that day. Who knows maybe that little boy was your angel. My mom killed herself at 3am, all alone with no one around, and jumped into deep dark water. I will never get over the way she died, it was so damn lonely. I wonder if it would have been the light of day, would something like you saw , would have made her have second thoughts?

  I have to believe that she would have thought of living, but she was under the influence of meds and alcohol. She wasnt a big drinker at all, she usually got migraines if she drank a margarita. So I wonder if , combining the alcohol and drugs put her into such a deep depressed state, that is why this attempt was successful. But regardless, I do understand her pain, there was alot of changes going on in her life at the time she decided to end it. If only she knew what I know about the JW's she might have seen a little light.....It is a personal mission of mine to help anyone who is being ate alive by the descructive nature of this cult, JW. And just because we are d/f , d/a or just don't go anymore, we will always be effected by being JW to some degree, and that is a heavy burden to carry around on tired shoulders sometimes.