DEVASTED by Wife Leaving...

by confuzcious 84 Replies latest jw friends

confuzcious

Brummie

Let me answer your questions so others here can see you have no clue

what I'm talking about.

 1) My wife is under Judicial Investigation because she

Kissed and Fondled Men and Women in front of me and witnesses.

I mention that there was NO SEX INVOLVED because in JW speak f

ondling of the penis or vagina IS considered Adultry.

You don't have to have SEX or INTERCOURSE;to commit Adultry.

That is also why I said Potential Adultry, because until the question

is answered how far she went, it's still can be considered

an Adultry situation. Either way, I forgave her.

 2) eeermm, your clueless Brummie.

YES, the courts can decide if you've been forgiven.

If the mate takes you back into your home and you resume a martital

relationship, in the eyes of the law, you are considered forgiven and

adultry no longer can be brought up as a legit reason to divorce.

3) Don't start slandering her? We're annonymous here. You don't even know her.

 But you are right, she's a wonderful person. That's why I forgave her of

 her "adultry." I am DEVASTED by My Wife Leaving. That was the post.

I made mistakes in the past and I repent and love her.

I'm not blaming her for leaving, I'm DEVASTED.

The best post here was the one that said, you reap what you sow.

That's good. And I could learn something from it.

ButBrummie, unless you know what you're talking about, please don't comment.

This thread has really gotten out of hand. I wish I never posted.

Some of the earlier posts on this were really good.

Even the ones that painted me negatively. I responded to that.

No, the organization is not responsible for everything.

Great points. I really learned from that.

But Brummie, just so you know, MY lawyer and HER lawyer

 are one and the same. He won't represent us if it we make it ugly.

 But from a legalistic viewpoint, and I don't think you're a lawyer,

Brummie, I could take my wife to the cleaners if I wanted to.

 He was very objective... and he's friends with both of us.

 The past adultries, even hers, don't count in the courts because

 YOU GET A CLEAN SLATE, once both decides to resume the marriage.

 NO, it doesn' spare you of bitter feelings and the consequences,

but legaly speaking AND in Jehovah's eyes, we are still Married.

Capice Brummie

Big Tex

It's rare in a divorce situation when there isn't blame on both sides. It sounds as if the two of you have issues with each other. It's clear that there is a great deal of anger on both sides and this makes reconciliation difficult and healing even moreso. I'm sorry that you're in this situation, but perhaps time apart might be good for both of you. Good luck.
LB

YOU GET A CLEAN SLATE, once both decides to resume the marriage.
Take a reality pill buddy. You haven't a clue as to how life works. You deserve to lose her. You are still blaming her.
There isn't enough cheese on earth for this whine.
confuzcious

LB,
NO.
You've made 3804 Posts. I think you're the one that needs to take a reality pill or find another hobby like hat collecting.
Stop putting your two cents in on stuff that makes no sense or doesn't inspire anybody.
Remember this post you did? "If you could have any superpower, what would it be?"
Give me a break.
You take a reality pill.
I made mistakes and I'm paying the price. But don't lecture me on how the world works. I made .7 million dollars last year and with it comes a lot of temptations. More than you would know about. Until you walked in my shoes, don't judge me.
My wife took me back two times because she seen how people treat me. I get a lot of attention. I slipped up. She understands that and took me back - twice.
You didn't walk in my shoes so get a life and save posts when you have something important to say.
You might be genuinely loyal to your wife and I applaud you. I was for many years, but the stresses and the temptations got the best of me.
My wife is not a stupid person. I am constantly surrounded by beautiful women through my occupation and they show me attention. My wife is also very attractive and she gets more than her fair share of attention. She is imperfect so she was unfaithful to me.
But that's not my issue.
Some of these posts here from other people are very helpful. I'm the first one to point the finger at me.
In fact, I cherish the posts here that are very negative of me too. A lot of them woke me up. But your posts and your collection of 3804 other posts - is the one needing of a reality check.
My wife left me. Perhaps deservedly so. But I came here thinking to get some insite and comfort.
Some of the people were very nice here. Other's gave a different way of looking at this and put a positive spin on it.

I guess that makes two of us. You havent got a clean slate just because she came back to you, at what point did the courts tell you that she hasnt got a leg to stand on because she forgave you twice? She can leave you simply on the grounds of un-reasonable behaviour, she can also change lawyers any day so it really is not cut and dried is it? I hope it works out best for the both of you.

My wife is under Judicial Investigation because she

Kissed and Fondled Men and Women in front of me and witnesses. 
I mention that there was NO SEX INVOLVED because in JW speak f ondling
 of the penis or vagina IS considered Adultry.

So you all stood around while your wife did this? And she, as a witness,

didnt mind committing "potential adultry" in front of all the other witnesses including you? OK I'm clueless .

See Confuz,out of all who disagreed with you here I have been the least

judgemental to you, I understand these things can happen to anyone  and I do feel sorry for you.

However it is bad advice to encourage   you to blame the elders, or to assume that your wife owes you anything,

you may be quicker to forgive yourself than your wife or the courts are to forgive you.

If someone gives you a differing opinion take it into consideration,

you will get the same differences of opinions in the courts. Its really not as black and white as you think it is.

Dont regret starting this thread, you will find support here even if its from the few its worth it right?

There are a wide range of people here so you will always get differing opinions,

who knows, you may even be able to learn something from people who disagree with you.

 Brummie

Brummie

LB ... Stop putting your two cents in on stuff that makes no sense or doesn't inspire anybody

Brummie, unless you know what you're talking about, please don't comment.

See confuz this is a discussion board and you cant really choose who does and does not respond. Just for future refference you could always state in your original post "Only positive feedback please". This way you can be a bit more selective.
Confuz, I agree with you that we should put ourself in your shoes and empathise a bit more than it appeared I did. Not everything that disagree's with you is a telling off.
All the best
confuzcious

Brummie,
Ok,
I did read back on some of your posts and you were non judgemental.
I'm just frustrated.
Regardless of what happens, I'm pretty sure this situation won't get ugly.
My wife could have took me BIG TIME to the cleaners after affair one and two.
I owe her.
But yes, I joined in a threesome with my wife and another girl.
My wife also later went with the the other girls husband although I'm not 100 percent sure what they did.
Brummie, I live in a different world than most people. All I can say is it is very L.A.-ish. It's a glamourous lifestyle, my work, but it has a tremendous dark side.
Yes she is a witness and that's why she will soon face a judicial meeting.
I witnessed it because, sorry, but I enjoyed it. Really, how many guys deep down wouldn't mind a threesome with his beautiful wife and another amazingly attractive woman.
It happened and obvously I can't change it.
I don't mind people giving me advice, but I've been called a block head in this thread.
Fine, it's annoymous, but unless you've walked in my shoes - you would have no clue.
Thanks Brummie. I enjoyed your posts, especially the earlier one.
I can't believe how much attention this thread is getting...
Brummie

I can't believe how much attention this thread is getting...

Maybe its just beginning to get started....lol
I'm going off line now but will check it later to see if it has reached page 30.
The more of the picture you share the clearer it becomes.
Its bedtime, i'm outa here
Brummie
confuzcious

hahaha,
Brummie, you're funny.
Even though its like my biggest fantasy. I had been offered 3 times by girls that if I didn't want to sleep with them, that I could bring along my wife for a threesome.
The first two times me and my wife was Pioneers so I said no.
Then after I screwed up, my wife tanked spiritually too.
So the last time, we all had too much to drink.
But it wasn't like Intercourse or anything like that. Just kissing, feeling and topless stuff.
I mean, it wasn't like a porno flick or anything like that. (or at least not like a good one - just kidding.)
Afterward, I don't know what happened, but it was kind of made clear that it was my turn to leave when the girls husband came back.
Strange, I know, but this is annonymous and there's no reason for me to lie.
So I let the whole thing pass, but when we got into a fight later on, I brought it up.
So one thing led to another and she left me.
This is all new still so I'll fill you in. She's not talking to me and won't return my calls. So yeah, I think my marriage is toast.
But I do love her still. Dearly.
Some of the better posts here was to the point of learning from this.
I guess I was just bitter, because I know I was a jerk. If you read the first thread, I knew I was never the best husband.
I learned so much from the posts here. I mean it changed my whole outlook on things.
As I mentioned before, I was ready to kill myself. I was on beer 4 and at beer 6 I was going to go for it.
My wife had the decently after my suicide message to call my friends up who came to my house.
I lost my wife and that's one of the most devistating things that could happen to a man. Even worse, is to know that it was ultimately your fault.
That's why I'm so keen on the idea of forgive and forget.
Sure, deep down, a woman doesn't ever forget, but I'm a mess now - emotionally.
I used to be a Pioneer and an MS. It was REALLY hard for me to get over the fact that I committed adultry.
It ate me alive.
So EVERYBODY in the Hall kept saying, "Jehovah forgave you. Jehovah forgave you." And today, I believe that he has.
But my wife forgave me too, at least in body form and took me back in.
But one posted said here that that's a hard thing for a woman to do and it keeps eating away at the marriage.
That's true.
It's what it is. Learn and move on I guess.
SPAZnik

Dear (((((Confuzcious))))),
Awwwww, poor BAYBEE!
Just be glad you don't live in "Bible Times (TM)" my friend, cuz they woulda stoned ya twice over and she'd be the poor widow in grieving and you'd be, well, DEAD.
Instead of being woman scorned ("i'm divorced"), she'd be a widow ("oh, he died"). Instead of whining 'bout your woman finally leaving you (her Right), you'd be, well, DEAD. Thems the rules of the same bible you use to justify demanding she respect your sorry cheating ass. Stone adulterers to death, that's whut it says!
Congratulations on living in the 21st century and learning (too late) how to be a good husband.
Go use it on someone innocent to your wayz.

Think of it as a fresh start. And well, "borrowed time".
SPAZ
Edited by - SPAZnik on 31 January 2003 8:27:31

DEVASTED by Wife Leaving...

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