@stuckinarut2 Once again, screwed over by the people we were there for and helped the most (in your case, the nark who worked for you and trolled through your personal computer for evidence against you). "By their fruits, you will recognize them." All I recognize are a group of mental patients, hell-bent on destroying our reputation and families through use of betrayal, deceit, gestapo tactics, espionage and clandestine intelligence. A ruthless group of insincere, fake people with zero integrity, regard for human ethics and are devoid of ANY "natural affection." Nothing but low-hanging, rotten figs.
I'm New
by Wake Me Up Before You Jo-Ho 209 Replies latest members meetups
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mentalclarity
I'm really sorry you're going through all this. The only way I could escape was to fade and move far, far away. The longer I'm out the more I see the crazy in these situations. Meeting with three imperfect men to be "judged" and face punishment? WTF??? And yet, here we are....
I don't really have any advice for JC stuff - I don't know what I would have done, but if you ever need someone to chat with who knows what you're going through, I'm free to chat. I also have an elderly mom and I tread lightly for now - but distance has really helped my situation. Starting fresh in a new place where nobody knows you is the easiest way out imho.
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jp1692
@Wake Me Up, no I am not a therapist. LOL
If I were, I would be prevented by professional ethics from pointing out that your religious beliefs are the source of your problems!
That being said, I have spent the last 15 years trying to understand why I would join a cult and how can I heal from that experience, possibly helping others.
I'm glad that you found my words resonated with you. You are most welcome. I intended to be comforting and encouraging and loving. Thanks for noticing.
FYI: I was actually an elder for nearly 20 years, probably a terrible one! The more I rose up the ranks of the organization the more I saw the hypocrisy and corruption. That was what eventually led to me leaving the organization.
This is my penance.
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Wake Me Up Before You Jo-Ho
@mentalclarity Moving away is hard. I have my own apartment, but I'm also a single mother - so uprooting my kid makes things a bit difficult, especially since he loves his grandparents so much :(. I'm about twenty minutes away from my folks and still have my records in their congregation. Before all this sh*t hit the fan, I was contemplating asking to be transferred to a congregation nearer to me and then becoming inactive... but then I realized I don't want my record card to be handed over to a new set of elders who will then be "following up" with me when I'm a no-show at their congregation. I just want my records burned and destroyed like a Sparlock toy - never to be mentioned again.
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mentalclarity
Yeah, I hear you Wake Me Up...I'm also a single mom and I moved with my kids and it was difficult, but I knew that would be the only way I would feel I wasn't be "watched" constantly and always on verge of being df'd. Fading away in my city just was not an option.
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Wake Me Up Before You Jo-Ho
@jp1692 I can sense you were far too well-read and compassionate to be a "proper" elder. You don't speak like a window cleaner on a power trip. You actually sound and write like a professor. So refreshing to be on this forum ad have REAL discussions with people without having to edit oneself for fear of "offending" the other party (I'm referring to conversations we'd have among JWs). I'm so moved to hear that someone who was once an elder for many years like yourself can turn it all around and reclaim his integrity and brain. There's hope out there for elders currently enslaving the publishers in the congregations with the bullying and totalitarian regime imparted upon them from the Governing Body. Thank you for your "works of repentance" :P. It warms my heart so much that people like you exist.
@mentalclarity Wow - you actually moved entire cities! I'm not sure what the geographical situation is where you're located, but down here in Australia, cities are few and far apart. I'm so happy for you that you took the plunge and went through with the move, though. That's so inspiring! I've often flirted with the idea of just packing up and moving countries so I can be totally unrecognizable and truly feel free at last. When I was just 12 years old, I had this fantasy of moving to Seattle so I could take my writing seriously and work for a newspaper. Pipe dreams :). The US still looks extremely attractive to me all these years later since it's an English-speaking country with many parallels to Australia. Little to no cultural shock is what I can handle during the tumultuous times I'm experiencing now, trust me!
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mentalclarity
@Wake Me Up - I moved cities and then I moved countries! I live in the US now if you ever want to visit
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Wake Me Up Before You Jo-Ho
@mentalclarity What country did you move from? I wish I COULD meet you! What state did you pick to live in?
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jp1692
@WakeMe, yes it is indeed refreshing to be able to speak your mind freely without fear or censure.
One of the best things about finally leaving the stifling, soul-crushing environment of a cult is that you can find people that love you for WHO you are and not WHAT you (pretend to) believe.
That being said, I'm glad that you noticed I don't write "like a window cleaner on a power trip." Actually, when I first joined the religion back in the early '80s I was a swimming pool cleaner for a while. It was mindless work.
Even before I left I decided to return to university to get my teaching credential. I got a lot of flack for that from congregation members and JW family. They're still struggling at low-paying, mindless jobs waiting for Armageddon to release them from their misery. Such a waste.
Meanwhile I've been able to pursue my interests and live a full and rich life. There was and remains a great cost. I have family members that are still stuck in the religion. Some live walking distance from me and refuse to speak to me even though I regularly make attempts to reach out and reconcile. (FYI: I'm not disfellowshipped, just faded).
Eliyahu Federman (2013), civil rights activist and writer, observed that “the distinction between cult and religion lies squarely in how those leaving or those wanting to leave are treated.”
To that I would add: If you are in a group from which there is no legitimate or honorable way to leave without facing the prospect of being shunned by all, or virtually all, of those that remain in the group, then it is safe to say: you’re in a cult. -
stuckinarut2
I just have to say:
This is one of the best welcoming threads for a new-comer on this forum that I have ever seen!
Welcome!
It seems that you have struck a chord with many here!
Your contributions will no doubt be of great help to others. Although the Society may not value you, WE value you and all you can share. This place enables "an interchange of encouragement" to take place. (see what I did there?)
Stay strong!