After reading this whole thread, all I have to say is the following:
Why is it such a pain in the ass to serve a "loving" god? If this god was loving, it would be easy to repent and rejoin the congregation! Besides, Jehovah is supposed to punish the wrongdoers at Armageddon. So why are the elders in the position to do the punishing? Have they been directed by Jehovah's holy spirit to make things difficult?
In my opinion, if it's this difficult to serve Jehovah, he's not worth serving at all.
Northern girl, You know that if you go back, you're not allowed to communicate with us, correct? The witnesses are showing such conditional love. They will not speak to you while you're DFed, but us apostates will speak to you whatever status you happen to be. Yes, we've grown a bit attached to you.