Question for elders or ex elders (page 5)

Nosferatu

Northern girl, you answered my question. Thank you

Also, I have never had a completely happy day since being df'd.

I'm just going to tell you about my experience with happiness. For most of my life, I was never truly happy. Happiness seemed to come to me after I left the org (this is my experience, not necessarily what you experienced). I met a great woman, and we began building a life together. I started making her the foundation of my happiness, and I felt fantastic! I felt happy that I was starting a life of my own, starting a family, etc etc.

Then she left me. Since she was the foundation of my happiness, my building came crashing down when she left. I was crushed. I was left with an incredible amount of problems. I began reconstructing my building with a different foundation - the foundation of my happiness was ME. I can't leave myself, can I? Ever since I've done this, I've been equally as happy as when I had a woman as my foundation of happiness, but this time it won't come crashing down. I've become a lot more emotionally stable, and I'm able to handle my problems much better. As for happiness, I bring it upon myself. Personal goals and accomplishments keep my happiness up, and they keep me going. NOBODY can take that away from me.

What I'm basically saying is that true happiness cannot have a foundation based on someone (or something) else. If that person leaves your life, or that thing is destroyed, all the basis for your happiness gets destroyed and you have to start all over again. Can you relate?

expatbrit

how do you pronounce tomato?

I'll let you know right after I reread the Question From Readers on the subject.

Expatbrit

northern girl

Nosferatu:

I hear you ... I really do.

My past hasn't been 'a bowl of cherries either'. The one stable thing I had was my belief in god. It was my own doing that destroyed that relationship so no one else can take responsibility but me.

I know where you are coming from about owning your own foundations ... you are right ... no one can take that away from you. My foundation happens to be my belief and no one can take that away from me.

It is obvious that you mean well and I will remember your words. I was not rejected by Jehovah; remember I left him? It is only my doing that I am where I am today.

northern girl.

asleif_dufansdottir

Also, I have never had a completely happy day since being df'd. ...To top it all off ( hope you weren't expecting lots of scriptures ), the best and truest friends I've ever had are witnesses and I want them back.

These do not sound to me like the words of someone who is strongly personally convinced of the trueness of the WT doctrine. This sounds like someone who's just lonely and wants their friends and family back.

Is the reason you haven't had a completely happy day since being df'd because of shunning, and because you no longer have the illusion of 'having all the right answers'?

I was pretty unhappy for a while, too, after I found out my religious belief as a JW was based on lies, but that was because I'd given so much time and energy to a group of people masquerading as the true religion and I'd neglected my (non-JW) family to do it. I was pretty ticked off that I'd been duped and I'd been wasting my time. My unhappiness at the time did nothing towards 'proving' the JWs 'had the truth' ... indeed, it proved the opposite.

If you truly "hate what is bad" (according to JW theology), why are you on here asking what you'll 'have' to tell the elders? I could be wrong, but you don't sound like someone who trusts either the elders or the process. Which is good, IMO, you shouldn't...but if you believed the 'press' the society puts out about itself, you would.

northern girl

a_d:

I had an answer all typed to you and pushed a wrong button and lost it all, so here goes again. ( I originally typed in your whole name too ).

I am here because it is a place where I can say anything I want about anything. The friends I have now (nonwitnesses), are wonderful people but we can't have real deep conversations because we do not share a common background.

Never suppose that my beliefs are anything but bible-based. It is because of this common thread that I want all my old friends back. We share the same thoughts and values. The reason I've not had a happy day since being df'd is that I am away from the freinds that I believe have Jehovahs blessing.

You may be right about my trusting anyone these days. All I wanted from this board is an answer from elders or ex's about what to expect when trying to get reinstated. The ones who answered me have been very kind and helpfull. Who else would I go to for answers? I'd rather be a little bit armed when I face the committee ... and this way I will be.

If I'm asked about my doings while df'd I won't lie but I won't offer anything that isn't asked either. This is not fudging ... it is being self protective.

northern girl.

asleif_dufansdottir

( I originally typed in your whole name too ).

Ah, well, the hazards of having my screen name

I'd rather be a little bit armed when I face the committee

Why? "Armed"? Don't you trust them? And if you don't, then why don't you, if you really believe Jehovah is a loving god and they are directed by his spirit?

In my opinion, a "loving god" should be about as intimidating as my grandpa, who adored me and never treated me meanly or unfairly, even though he had high moral standards and somehow managed to get me to behave myself better than anyone else in the world could, without being the slightest bit scary. I never in my life wanted to do anything that would disappoint my grandpa, and he's been dead almost 10 years. I trusted him completely my whole life.

If a guy named Lyle who never went to school past the 8th grade, can be more worthy and instill more trust than an entire organization that is supposed to be directed and managed solely by Jehovah's spirit (grandpa wouldn't ever in a million years put up with a pedophile for the 2 seconds it took to kick his ass out the door), then that says all it needs to about that religion.

Nosferatu

I was not rejected by Jehovah; remember I left him?

This may be true. You did leave Jehovah, but he did not reject you. Your foundation may be your belief in Jehovah, but the congregation has cut you off from being able to persue your belief in Jehovah, thus your happiness has it's limits.
This is causing you to suffer, correct?

northern girl

a_d:

WOW ... Sounds like you had a wonderful grand dad. That is exactly the way I feel about my mother. Now you see why I miss her so much and how deeply felt the promise of seeing her again is to me.

When I say 'armed' I mean with as much knowledge as I can get.

Why don't we put the blame in the proper place as far as pedophiles belongs. That obnoxious behaviour does not originate with Jehovah. I think we all know where it does originate. It is a subject that I do not have a lot of knowledge about but any victim has my complete sympathy.

northern girl.

asleif_dufansdottir

I think we all know where it does originate.

I think we all know who covers it up and allows it to continue, too, rather than having the congregation and the general public know about it. Fortunately, at least the general public is being made aware that known pedophiles are going door-to-door with the blessing of the elders.

So the fact that the WT is profiting from the sale of tobacco and smart bombs, and were NGO members of the UN for 10 years, and all that, doesn't batt your eyes in the least, huh?

asleif_dufansdottir

WOW ... Sounds like you had a wonderful grand dad. That is exactly the way I feel about my mother. Now you see why I miss her so much and how deeply felt the promise of seeing her again is to me.

Yeah. But I don't need to try to continue trying desperately to believe in the lies of a religious publishing company, who tells me that the only way to see grandpa again is do what they say. Anyway, Grandpa wasn't a JW.

It's all a lie...a farce to keep people to continue giving their time, money and obedience to the organization. Why should you but any trust in any of their claims?? If I told you that you'd see your mom again only if you do what I tell you, would you believe me?? I have a better track record than the society.

I don't mean to be nasty, but it sounds to me like you're grasping at straws and clinging to a false hope. (not false hope of seeing your mom again, necessarily, but in the sense that becoming a 'good little Witness' will ensure it)

Question for elders or ex elders

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