That prohibition was the tool of the devil.
An article written by Big fatass Joey Rutherford, cuz' he liked a drink did ol' fatass.
Sober as a judge !
What's The Most Ridiculous Thing Taught or Believed By Jehovah's Witnesses?
by minimus 107 Replies latest jw friends
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Odrade
Toasting is Pagan. (WT'68, 1/1 q from readers.)
Exposed knees could lead to fornication.
The bathroom lines are so long because there are MIRRORS in there.
PG rating means "pretty gross."
Smurfs!
ET!
If you just read the Bible and not the Society's literature, you will become an APOSTATE!!! oh, wait a minute...
Odrade
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Bendrr
Owning a two-door car is bad.
Going to college is bad.
Smoking is bad and will result in eternal destruction at Armageddon, which is any day now.
Beards on men are wrong.
Reading anything other than the Society's publications is bad.
Listening to any other music than the Kingdom Melodies is bad.
Not shunning disfellowshipped family and friends results in your own disfellowshipping.
Using the text messaging feature of cell phones is bad. Need more clarification ("new light") on that one. Is it bad just for singles and teenagers or bad for every Witness?
The internet is VERY BAD!
Victims of child molestation shouldn't go to the police.
Elders shouldn't report a confession of child molestation unless required by law, and then they don't absolutely have to.
Television, radio, and the internet are the most effective ways of reaching people but Jehovah's Witnesses should instead knock on the doors of people who are gone all day because they're working at jobs in order to pay for their TV's, radios, and computers.
Just about every good deed Jesus performed was for someone other than one of his disciples but Witnesses should limit their already miserly charity to other babtized Witnesses in good standing.
and on and on and on.......
Mike.
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happyout
someone who has candles on a cake and sings happy birthday is, in God's eyes, as bad as a murderer, and will be destroyed at Armageddon
people from other religions should examine their religion to see if it is false, but JW's should not examine their religion since it is the true one
it was a good story to rescue a lost sheep on the sabbath, but taking a blood transfusion to save a human life is HORRIBLE
you should remain miserably married to some asshole loser because you can't prove they were unfaithful
if you should divorce the asshole loser for reasons other than adultery, you can't get married to someone else because that would be adultery. of course, you also can't ever have sex with the asshole loser you divorced, because that would be fornication
some of the stories in the Bible are real, some are parables, and only the WTS can tell which is which
144,000 go to heaven. no more, no less. that's it. since the beginning of man. finito. done.
Happyout (whose brain is tired from the stupid crap she's trying to recall)
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Mary
Geeze........where do you start?
- Jesus "turned His attention" to some silly old goats in 1914. Apparently before 1914, Jesus had been staring off into space for the last 2,000 years.
- The "firey mountain" described in Revelation that crashes into the sea and kills off a third of all the creatures in the sea, is really talking about the "firey issue of God's Kingdom after WWII." uh-huh...............
- Some stupid proclamations that they made up in the 1920s fulfills almost all the prophecies the Book of Revelation. Even the type of jail cells were prophecied about.
- If you don't attend 5 meetings a week for the rest of your life and get 10 hours in service every month, you will die the second death at Armageddon.......which should be here any time now.
- Coloured shirts for the brothers are baaaaaad
- Don't let your kids get involved in any after school sports, because they should be out in Service instead.
- Bewitched and I Dream of Jeannie are demonized.
- Beastiality is grounds for disfellowshipping, but not grounds for divorce.
- Child molestation is okay under any circumstances.
- 1925;
- 1945
- 1975
- The most ridiculous thing believed by JWs, has got to be the belief that Abraham, Isaac and Jacob would be resurrected on earth in 1925 and actually buying them a house.
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ozziepost
....That the 7 trumpet blasts of Revelation refer to a series of Bible student conventions in the 1920's.
Yep. Funny thing is that whenever the name "Cedar Point" was mentioned at a meeting, there was a barely concealed groan around the room!! Yet still the R&F accept that it's "the Truth"!!!!!
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ozziepost
G'day Mary,
Jesus "turned His attention" to some silly old goats in 1914. Apparently before 1914, Jesus had been staring off into space for the last 2,000 years.
It really doesn't make sense, does it, Mary? How come Jesus had "all power and authority" (Matt 28), yet sat around while the creation that he loved so much endured the Dark Ages, the Crusades, the ....... ???????
Cheers, Ozzie
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Black Man
(1) Smurfs are Baaaaaddddd!!
(2) Women must wear a headcovering (i.e. - paper towel, hat, etc.) when conducting a bible study when a baptized man is present.
(3) Women can't hold any positions in the Congo.
(4) Masturbators won't inherit the Kingdom.
(5) Millions Now Living Will Never Die.
(6) That Kingdom Melodies are considered music and are sacred.
(7) You must shun relatives who are DFed.
(8) Universal Sovreignty Issue.
(9) That it was Satanic to go to college.
(10) It was Satanic to want to play sports in high school.
(11) Working as a window washer/pioneer is akin to storing up riches in heaven.
(12) That out of all things in the universe that God could work through, he chooses a publishing company to glorify his name and sovreignty to the universe.
(13) That the 7 trumpet blast prophecies in Revelation was fulfilled at some obscure conventions held by a publishing company in 1922.
(14) That God will all destroy men, women, children and pets who are not JWs.
(15) That homosexuality is a choice and not dictated by genetics.
(16) That oral sex is wrong for married couples.
(17) NEW LIGHT.
(18) That elders, ms and pioneers are directly appointed by God's Holy Spirit.
(19) That Bethel is the House of God.
(20) That all other religions, people, institutions outside of JW's is incapable of showing love.
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minimus
The Society's view of rape, different styles of music and dress, any prophecy that has 1914 or 1919 in it, the Finished Mystery book, and last but not least, THE FAITHFUL & DISCREET SLAVE CLASS
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freedom96
The list is endless. Really silly when you think about it.