Forgiving & Forgetting (page 3)

drwtsn32

Forgiving isn't necessary when a person is not sorry for what they did, IMO. We have been screwed by someone we were trying to help... that person turned out to be one of worst human beings I have ever known. Am I holding a grudge? Maybe... but I don't dwell on it... in fact this is the first time I've thought of it in quite a while.

That experience was pretty unique for me. It takes a lot to get me upset. If someone offends me I almost always give them the benefit of the doubt and just forget about it.

William Penwell

Forgiving and forgetting when others hurt us is necessary not so much for the persons that hurt us but for our own peace of mind. If we allow that hurt to fester and grow it will consume us with hate and take away the energy that could be spent on positive emotions.

Will

tinkerbell82

i don't hold grudges for too many things. really there's only one person in my life that i hold a grudge against....but i dont think about that person very often at all. i tend to forgive automatically...maybe a little too automatically

plmkrzy

I have learned to forgive just recently actually. Recently being the last five or so years.

I forgave my ex-spouse for things that I once considered unforgivable. I will not forget though. That would, in my opinion, make me a fool. I forgave my father. I forgave many people of things that did nothing other then consume energy and waist my life hanging on to. What I learned from it was it only made a difference in my life, one way or the other.

Regardless of my forgiving or not forgiving, makes no difference in the life of the person or persons who hurt me. However, it does make all the difference in the world regarding the quality of my life and my relationships with those who are important to me and who are a part of my life now. So by not forgiving, I am cheating myself and those I love. And as for many of those arsholes that hurt me, they get theirs in the end.

I now have friends and loved ones who respect me but those who tormented me or robbed me have empty worthless lives with nothing to comfort them. They are sad little people and I have no reason to carry them on my back for the rest of my life.

rocketman

I agree with Penwell. But what if the hurt is too severe, the act too dastardly? I guess there's still got to be some way of not letting it consume you, some way to put it aside without totally forgetting about it.

StinkyPantz

Doc-

You bring up a VERY good point:

Forgiving isn't necessary when a person is not sorry for what they did, IMO

I agree. Some people would not. I suppose it could be psychologically beneficial if you could forgive someone who doesn't want to be forgiven. . .but I think that's where revenge comes in, it can heal too .

Are you sure you don't need therapy?

It's on my "To-Do" List. . .

William Penwell

No matter how much we forgive someone we would never forget what they did but we have to find away to let the hurt go for our own peace of mind.

Will

tinkerbell82

we would never forget what they did

That's not necessarily true.

StinkyPantz

Tink-

Elaborate please ?

plmkrzy

forgiving is not necessary. Unless you expect something you can not obtain by not forgiving. It is all a choice. You chose what is important to you and you benifit to "that" degree.

"You can have anything you want, but you can't have EVERYTHING you want"

There is a lot more to that ol' saying then most people see.

Forgiving & Forgetting

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