I want to ask her out... (page 6)

Stacy Smith

If I ended up dating you Stacy, you'd be treated to a nice Happy Meal at McDonalds. I'll rely on you to bring the candles.

Now don't stretch your budget if you can help it.

I'm sure there are hundreds of women who would find you appealing and be more that happy to support you in the style in which you desire.

I consider equal rights to have many levels not the least of which is the ability to support myself. In that area I am working very hard. I am attending college for one reason, to make myself more valuable in the job market.

I have always found myself attracted to a gentleman, not someone who wants to teach me about equal rights. I enjoy the dating scene and being courted is important especially in the early stages. Most guys that I have dated have wanted me to be a longterm girlfriend and not a booty call. If a guy wanted me to share costs right off I would believe he was more into the booty call than anything else.

I am not putting you down Nosferatu or even disagreeing with you I'm just saying what I like.

logansrun

I hate to make such an off-topic point but....

Stacey, you said:

I am attending college for one reason, to make myself more valuable in the job market.

No other reasons? You don't wish to better yourself in ways which have nothing to do with money, ie philosophical erudition, social understanding, humanitarianism, science, artistic development -- how to think?

Perhaps you didn't really mean "one reason", but if you did...telling, very telling.

Bradley

Xena

but if you did...telling, very telling.

Yea tells me she is a realist not some idealist with her head in the clouds.

I have always found myself attracted to a gentleman, not someone who wants to teach me about equal rights. I enjoy the dating scene and being courted is important especially in the early stages.

EXACTLY! Shame more men don't understand that concept.

SixofNine

I've always been attracted to women I can trust. If they say they are for equal rights, I want them to mean just that, hopeless romantic that I am. I don't like women who use their sex as a bargaining tool.

I do bow to convention I must admit, usually paying at first, but it is just because of that: social convention, I don't think it makes any sense except as a shorthand for defining the terms; romance/sex/just friends. A too vigorous protest of me paying on the first date is a sure sign that she sees this as only friendship and wants me to see it the same way. I have long since learned it's not in my best interest to argue.

After the relationship is moving along, I expect "who pays" to be based on the financial status of us both.

logansrun

Xena,

Yea tells me she is a realist not some idealist with her head in the clouds.

Right. Sure. You know, somewhere between "idealism" and selfish materialism / heavy-handedness there is a golden mean which will be a balance between what "is" and what "ought." Make sense?

B.

Nosferatu

If a guy wanted me to share costs right off I would believe he was more into the booty call than anything else.

It's funny you say this. Ever have one of those guys who you just see as a friend? He was a nice guy, but he "wasn't your type", or "you didn't see him in that way"? But this guy would do anything you wanted him to do, and buy you stuff you wanted.

What is a guy doing when he does this?
He's indirectly saying "I'm doing all this nice stuff for you, so I'm expecting some sex from you".

I prefer to turn the tables and have it the other way around. It's much easier.

I am not putting you down Nosferatu or even disagreeing with you I'm just saying what I like.

What a woman likes and what she wants are two completely different things...

I have always found myself attracted to a gentleman, not someone who wants to teach me about equal rights.

In other words, you don't want a guy who tries to impress you with his intelligence. You want a guy who gives you that "feeling". Whether you face it or not Stacy, you can't control who you're attracted to. You can meet the perfect gentleman, but if he has no confidence or respect for himself and likes to talk about Lynux, you're not going to sleep with him.

I dated a girl who should never have been interested in me. She was into knowledge, ballerinas, crossword puzzles, Jann Arden, and was a non-smoker. I was into heavy metal, drinking booze, dating another woman, and a smoker. We were the match made in hell. To top it all off, we started as "just friends". It's near impossible to turn a friendship into a relationship.

....she was pretty wild in bed :)

Xena

no really bradly DO TELL

If you don't think she will garner a bit more from her entire educational experience than financial gain you are most likely mistaken...that said there is nothing wrong with her ultimate goal being financial security...as I said I personally find it commendable.

That make sense???

logansrun

Xena,

If that was the totality of what I know about Ms. Smith I would agree with you. Unfortunately, her tirades about politics, economics are so awful it sickens me. Her ethics are so icily cold they would make Ayn Rand shiver. This last statement was just the icing on the cake.

Never mind. Sorry I vented a little here.

franklin J

Dan

Just be yourself,

Go for it.

And keep us posted....we are all cheering for you!

Frank

Nosferatu

No other reasons? You don't wish to better yourself in ways which have nothing to do with money, ie philosophical erudition, social understanding, humanitarianism, science, artistic development -- how to think?
Perhaps you didn't really mean "one reason", but if you did...telling, very telling.

Bradley hit on a very good point here. Don't men do the same thing? Then why should the man pay for everything? When a man pays, is he being a "gentleman", or is he handing all control over to the woman? Is he allowing himself to become another victim of a golddigger?

It seems that equal rights are conditional.

I want to ask her out...

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