Doubtfully,
Just the other day my husband in so many words told me that we got married by the Organization and if I told him I wanted nothing with the Organization then that would be pretty much the end of our marriage.
I was going to say that the art of fading means to NEVER let anyone know that you have doubts about the Troof being the truth. If you have done that, and done so in a strong enough manner, then anything you do that declines your service to the WTS will be interpreted as a move to become an apostate. I was wondering by your above comments though if you have already let the cat out of the bag.
As others have said, to fade, you have to fain physical and mental pain. Touch everyone?s pity party nerve, and let them pity you and your pitiful mental and physical health. Joining outside clubs and a gym to improve these ailments are good excuses as cited by others. Good, because they are tangible things that people will see and therefore rationalize why you are becoming inactive.
Regarding your husband, if he is becoming violent, you have to take measures to protect yourself. I would:
- Stay with a friend or family for a few days next time he looses his cool
- Start saving money in an bank account unknown by him
- Contact a lawyer
- Maybe even get I touch with a local family violence group. They may have good ideas as well. Plus, his behavior will then be documented by outside sources in case it ever escalates in the future.
In addition to the above, here are some other thoughts into his behavior. These opinions maybe way out in left field, but they were true to a degree in my case and in a friend of mine who is an x-jw, so this may resonate with you [or him] as well.
I recall your previous posts. It seemed that things were going well for you and the double life.
I have a question. Was your husband also leading such a life with youas well ? If so, maybe he feels guilty about his past conduct and now he is swinging the pendulum the other way to make good for past errors of his [and your] double life? I?m not saying that he has done anything wrong that you are not aware of; just that the past partying life that I recall from your previous posts is now possibly eating at his conscience.
I say this because I had a talk a couple of months ago with a DF?d friend who said that they did things that they felt guilty about, and afterwards reached out and became more zealous to see if jehover blessed them, and therefore He was forgiving them for their past conduct. Made a Reg Pio? Good, jehover likes you. Have some bible studies? Good jehover forgives you for the past indiscretions.
It struck a chord with me because I applied to become a Reg Pio because of that very reason. I was accepted, and therefore rationalized to myself that jehover forgave my past sins and was at that time blessing me.
Only a JW could concoct such screwy logic.
Which would lead me to question if maybe your hubby?s present motivation is not love, or drawing closer to jehover, or reaching out for more privileges for the sake of helping the congregation. One possible reason is that he is making this move to do more out of fear. Fear that jehover is no longer blessing him and will destroy him at Armageddon. And the reaching out is now being done to test to see if jehover is still blessing him or not.
And he may be freaking out on you therefore because of his fear.
Just wild speculation of course. I could be way of base. But for what it?s worth?
Anyways, protect yourself first. Fade if you can, but if he shows violent tendencies again, I?d be out the door if at least for a few days to at least make him think and to protect yourself. But make sure that the place to go and the money that you need is setup up ahead of time.
Best wishes,
Paul
