Simon wrote:
> Managing a forum is such a difficult tightrope to walk isn't it?!
Sometimes it felt like I was in the ocean wearing a lead vest and at the same time trying to keep my nose and mouth above water long enough to gasp some air! I would carry my laptop I otherwise would have left at home on vacation, business trips, etc. Imagine visiting family or friends out of state carrying this laptop, and modeming-in to my ISP to maintain H2O? I'm sure you know this drill well. It got very tedious.
Why didn't I give it up? Because people convinced me that H2O was needed.
Why didn't I close H2O on February 6, 2001 when Infonex Information Services in La Mesa, California, unceremoniously pulled the plug? I was ready to! I didn't because again people convinced me that H2O was needed.
I wanted to do something that helped people and my Australian friends presented me with this once in a lifetime opportunity to give of myself for something really worthwhile. However, it was the many people (you know who you are out there!) who cheered me on to the "finish" line, and BEYOND.
Simon, if you noticed, Aimoo has performed a massive upgrade. The site is so fast it's like I'm paying a fortune for a private server (and this with the banner ads, which will DISAPPEAR in a few weeks when I again dig into my pockets). However, even with the ads it's faster than I ever dreamt possible even if I paid a bundle to get a new, fast private server. I'm tickled to death about this, but admittedly that's just superficial. Something DEEPER has changed!
We have revamped the moderator system, so that H2O operates much like you operate. Thanks to you setting a fine example, we have "reformed" OURSELVES! Sure would have been hypocritical to try reforming the organization of Jehovah's Witnesses if we cannot even reform ourselves.
Finally, I'm no longer available as a "red herring" to be used, i.e., "Rick, even if all these things are true, and it appears they are, it is YOU that is keeping everyone away!" Well, that is totally bunk according to many, but even so, it's no longer available to legitimately use as a reason! Why?
Because the proverbial "buck" no longer stops at my proverbial "cyberdesk" at H2O!
To the chagrin of many who have enjoyed so many months of "Rick bashing," the Forum Director who is a brother is also making decisions about the operation of H2O. I have slowly turned more and more decisions over to him, as I'm less involved in its day to day management. That is why I created the ID called "CogentMinded" on H2O a month or so ago, he requested something to the extent I do this so nobody can claim I'm using H2O to give weight to my views. I agreed and no longer post my views using H2O's administrative ID. You might want to do the same, Simon, because I'd love to hear your views!
Eventually, the Forum Director might take-over H2O entirely if I ever decide to bow out. Nobody knows the Forum Director like they know myself, because he never posted any of his viewpoints under his FD screen name. (I suspect he might be amongst us under another ID, and I hope so; I could have kept my ID as it relates to H2O a secret, but figured that my past outspokenness and sudden secretive new screen name would cause people to claim I was being "dishonest" if anyone figured out that "CogentMinded" was Rick! That is why I made it clear up front.)
The H2O that existed in the past has metamorphosed from its cocoon into a butterfly, sitting over there quietly with few to see its changes. Its management has also changed in that I'm having less of a role in deciding how to address problems that arise. As an analogy, I'm like the CEO whom everyone claimed ran the company into the ground (even if he personally knows this is far from truth), who decided to turn over more decision making to another executive. Even if I'm CEO, it's really in name only. H2O's Forum Director is really doing most of the decision making, although I'm working to improve myself! Wouldn't it be sad if I let Farkel's negativity injure my self-esteem to the point that I said, "Farkel's right, I'm worthless, I destroyed H2O and there's no point in trying to improve myself or H2O! I'll just sit here and punish myself with guilt until the day I croak!" Thanks to some wonderful parents my self-esteem is quite intact after Farkel and others' tirades about both H2O's and my worthlessness.
As a last analogy, I ignored the advice of those who, after trashing the place, said as their parting shot, "Rick, you did a terrible paint job and screwed up the house, so you might as well abandon it, nobody will ever occupy that ugly structure again!" Instead, I quietly worked with the Forum Director and others to rebuild the house, give it many fresh coats of paint, and even refurbish it from the foundation up with all new materials. Even new landscaping. That's probably why Farkel is even more hostile now in his replies to me. I guess his face turned beet red and ego started to deflate when he drove by the house recently. Here I tried to make peace with him, but he won't let it go. Oh well, sometimes it takes some with bigger egos longer to deflate and forgive, than others.
> I can't thank you enough for all the effort you put into H2O which helped me personally immensely as did the people who posted on it. I don't agree with some of the sentiments that have been expressed about H2O.
I would love to know what screen name you came to H2O under, so I can learn about your views in the H2O archives back to August 1996! If you don't feel comfortable revealing that information I understand.
I'm thankful to have been able to help you, which is manifest in your love for so many by extending the originally intended benefits of H2O to so many more through this site! I also had a feeling you didn't agree with some of the sentiments that have been expressed about H2O, and appreciate you confirming that. It's nice to know that I'm not the insane idiot who refuses to take his medication that Kent paints me out to be! ;-) Although I already knew that, your kind comments help solidify it.
> I agree that there is too much profanity on this board at the moment,
Amen and amen.
> too many insults and name calling
Another breath of fresh air!
> which doesn't make it the welcoming or supportive place I would want it to be - that is my headache for the short term at least.
I don't envy what you are going through. I felt a piercing pain in my heart when I was busy dousing the flames coming out of the organization, and suddenly the water pressure died. I looked over to the fire hydrant and there Farkel and a group of others stood, sneering back at me. I just laid in bed and cried that night, on that first day my eyes were opened to the realization that for every two steps H2O was moving the organization forward, the gang causing H2O to then move it three steps backwards. We live in a very fragile eco-system on this communications medium called the Internet, and it's truly like "The Glass House" that I'll never forget Goldie describing so eloquently on H2O years ago.
Rick