My heart has been broken in two -JW- HE IS MARRIED!!! (page 4)

Undaunted Danny

Regarding:"RelationSHITS" in the new world society.The engine that drives Jehovah's Witnesses is the trifecta of the 3 p's and they are:Power + Prestige + P***y.

They have ALWAYS been that way.I have seen a lot of malicious and willful cruel romantic fallout.I was a a good looking brother,who also happened to be sweet and chaste.So I was usually able to just shrug it all off. I was never the 'cock of the walk continental casanova' I never,ever broke a sisters's heart.

They ARE worst then worldings anyday,because people usually imitate the god (satan) that they worship.Guess what? I'm 47 years old and I NEVER married.Ha ha

Special K

I'm with lady lee on this one karissa

when she said,

"As much as he professes to love you there are some really sick things about him. The lies for one but you mention the jealousy and controlling behaviors. This is not love. It is toxic and is emotionally abusive.

He has decieved his wife, his religion and his family. And it seems he is pretty good at it too. What basis is there for trust when there is so much deceit? While I don't doubt your feelings of love for him at all I seriously have to doubt his professions of love.

Special K

P.S. From what you posted I can see that he only love ones thing... Himself. What a liar, two timing jerk... Sorry, that he hurt you in this way. I say RUN...away from men like this. Temporary committment of convenience for him. He also has betrayed your children as well by coming into their lives emotionally and then taking off on them too. I don't like guys like this.

Special K

DAN O.. I love ya'

You say what I think but .. I can't say it. " Send his clothes back cheaply. Send all his love letters and stuff to his wife...

I know Karissa. It sounds cruel, but your in saddness and grieving all the "false love" he has appeared to dish out. Watch out, anger will follow and then you may feel like doing

Special K

imallgrowedup

Karissa,

It has been a long time since I have felt so compelled to really sit down and respond to a thread like I do this one. First of all, I want to welcome you to the board and tell you that you have come to the right place for support. Second of all, in passing, I would like to say, drop the Bible Study. You only need spend a couple of minutes on this board to see how toxic this religion is.

I was involved in a situation that is similar to yours, however, thankfully, mine was not as all-encompassing like yours. (Thank you, God). But it none-the-less devastated me as well, and I share your pain. I'm not just saying that. I REALLY do feel your pain.

Everything I am going to say to you comes from personal experience, so if it sounds harsh, please forgive me. But if there is one thing I have learned from my own situation is the importance to begin the grieving process immediately and to put it all behind you even sooner. Looking back will only prolong your pain and put your own life on hold for even longer because this man is not who he said he was, and is therefore not the person you are in love with. Karissa, you deserve a happy life with someone who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated and hold you in the esteem in which you are entitled. Allowing this guy to want to have his cake and eat it too is a slam against YOU and against your self-worth. Holding on to him for even one more second keeps you in the abyss he has created for you. Do you want that, Karissa? I understand that you miss the guy you fell in love with. But that guy is no longer "alive". And whether he is sincere in his professions of love or not, the fact of the matter is that he has put you LAST -- behind the wife, behind the "things" and behind the religion. Take a look at this man. His ACTIONS scream louder than his words! LISTEN to his ACTIONS. He can pay lip service all day long to how much he loves you - but if he really did love you, his ACTIONS would be congruent with his words. And they are not.

Sadly, Karissa, this relationship will NEVER work. The sooner you accept that and move on, the sooner you will meet someone who really does love you, and really will sacrifice everything for you, even if it meant they could only have you in their lives for one more day. YOU ARE WORTH IT. Do NOT ever forget it.

I'm so sorry you are going through this. My heart truly does bleed for you. (((((Karissa)))))

growedup

Undaunted Danny

There are a whole lotta rotten "relations**ts",in the 'new world society'.....My experience goes back to the the 1950's.

I 've been around the block a few times.My dad met my mom door to door in 1955,he was 27 and she was 17.

Their marriage s**k from the get-go.There are a LOT of dysfunctional miss-matched JW couplings.They get married for reasons other,than that they simply Love each other.

They get married for Kingdom expediancy,it doesn't matter that they don't even like each other,cause you are a 'diamond in the rough' and Jehovah is gonna make you perfect for me in the 'new system'.

The ONLY reason i'm not a casuality and didn't get sucked into it myself,is because i was crippled with a chronic wasting disease.I was waiting on Jehovah to cure me in the paradise.

Don't forget JW's can't get divorced except under the ugliest of circumstances,(porneia) so once you tie the knot you are trapped.

http://www.dannyhaszard.com/dating.htm http://www.freeminds.org/psych/recover.htm

Danny shares and cares.

asleif_dufansdottir

What Danny said reminded me of something I don't think anyone else has mentioned. His wife may want very much to divorce him but as a JW she is not allowed to do so (well, if she does she's not 'free' to remarry') without hard proof he has been sexually unfaithful to her. You could help her escape a horrible marriage by sending this proof (it's not being vindictive...although I personally would be pretty vindictive).

I would send copies (keep originals unless his wife requests them) of letters, pictures, etc, including a signed statement from you about the extent of your relationship, to both the elders and her (make sure he can't get it instead of her and destroy it). This man needs to be taught he can't get away with this crap.

Oh, and it's not uncommon for elders to 'cover up' stuff if he or his family is well-liked and powerful in the congregation. In that case I'd send copies to his old congregation in CA (you've already talked to someone there), his new congregation in Florida...and maybe even a couple of others in FL (just to be sure you 'got the right congregation').

FlyingHighNow

Hi,

I know your heart is broken. Believe me. It WILL heal. This too shall pass. It will. Six months is usually what it takes for you to work through something like this and begin to feel normal again. I know that from experience with divorce and deaths.

This guy's brand of "love" isn't real love. Harsh as reality is, he has used you for his own selfish reasons.

I wouldn't send his things to him. He left them with you: let him worry about sending for them. Box them up and give him a time limit for sending for them. If he doesn't make the deadline, give them to a worthy charity.

Flyin'

Fleur

karissa, i am glad you're here, and i am so sorry this evil person has done this to you and your kids :( please listen to your heart and only do what you feel you can live with when it comes to 'turning him in' or whatever.

i know many here have recommended that you do so, but i would say that only you can know what this man may be capable of...you may want to consider what if any revenge he would take against you for exposing him to his wife, please remember the phrase "safety first".

turning him in to the elders or his wife is NOT worth it if it could possibly put you or your children in any danger. he will hang himself, there is no way a woman could be totally in the dark about such extreme behavior on his part unless the wife is in total denial or not ready to accept it.

don't take on any more grief than you have to. get rid of his things, get a new number (and address, if possible) and get on with your healing. i agree about telling the kids the truth at an age appropriate level.

take care of yourself, and your kids, and in time things will be better.

glad you're here, hope you stay around.

hugs,

fleur

ps ladylee, those links were AMAZINGLY helpful to me. i cannot believe how they described my ex to the absolute detail. thank you!

Karissa

That sounds like a good idea although I feel like doing this would be very vendictive. In spite of all that he has done to me and how much he has hurt me. I would feel bad for hurting him in return. I guess I need to get over the loving him part first. It's hard to hurt someone you love. Like writing what has happened between he and I last night and submiting it to this group, I had no idea how many responses I would get. I'm getting nervous now that an elder in the Newberry area may already have caught wind of this.

I go back and fourth with this. Should I send everything off to them or not??? Paul has told me that his wife already knows everything and has forgivin him. She may not be interested in seeing our pictures and all of the loving letters (e-mails) She may be choosing to believe what he says even though It's only part of the truth. I feel bad for her...

I dunno-

Fleur

karissa, if you're worried about it, you can go back and edit the location info out of your post, and ask mods to delete it from other posts. or ask people to remove location references from their posts...

(((((((((((karissa)))))))))))) big hugs for you

fleur

My heart has been broken in two -JW- HE IS MARRIED!!!

Share this