Hi Karissa,
I feel really bad for you & what you have gone through with this man. As much as I would love to blame it on the religion cult unfortunately infidelity occurs in all walks of life. However, being a Witness he has been taught how to manipulate & deceive with great skill. He may love you & want to have a life with you but is unable/unwilling to make that break from his marriage & cult. Perhaps for him the 5 months with you were like a fantasy life - the way it 'could be' outside the constraints of the cult. This of course does not excuse his shocking & disrespectful behaviour to both you & his wife. It also shows what a coward he is, he is unwilling to stand by his marriage or his religion or his great 'love'. This man wants it all but does not want to sacrifice anything to achieve that.
For what it's worth, my advice re his belongings would be to give them to a charity. With the love letters, photos, etc I would hang onto them for now but write a letter to his previous KH & his wife briefly outlining what has occurred &, if you are willing, you could leave contact details (email address/cell phone no) if they would like some evidence. I would hesitate to send the love letters directly to his wife without her requesting them as this could be really painful. My father had a very long-term affair (10 years!) & when they were caught his lover gave letters to my mother to read & it was devastating for her. It's enough to find out your spouse has been unfaithful, the details are unnecessary. Even though I really detest the JWs your ex still professes to be one of them so he has to accept the consequences of his actions. You may as well use their interfering ways to your advantage because this man does not deserve to get away with this. Yes, it may be vindictive but he chooses to be in a religion that is based on very stringent 'rules'. The elders will punish him & his wife will have the option of divorcing him on scriptural grounds, which may be a relief for her.
I have the feeling (after seeing all the people that have read this) that after I have done what I did in posting my our relationship last night that they may already know. What do you think?
I wouldn't be overly concerned about this as this site is considered an 'apostate' site, so even if a JW does recognise who you are talking about it would be very difficult for them to say anything about it without giving themselves away.
One final thing, if by miracle of miracles your ex-bf does grow some balls I would think very carefully about taking him back. Apart from all the hurt & the pain that he has already subjected you to, it is very difficult being with a JW if you are not one yourself. His JW family & friends will never accept you & will always blame you for the break-down of the marriage & his disfellowshipping - I speak from experience about this.
All the best
Cat
ps Please discontinue the book study with your JW neighbour! You are emotionally vulnerable right now & in a perfect position for the JWs to prey on you. You do not want to get involved in this cult, it is evil & insidious, just read some of the stories on this board to see the damage it has wreaked in people's lives. If you feel spiritually bereft, there are kinder & less judgemental organisations to become involved with - a non-denominational church may be helpful.