I need your help (page 3)

calamityjane

I have chosen this by free will. It would make it easier on her if I did, because her father will not give his blessing to anybody that isn't a Jehovah's Witness.

She gets sad over this and I don't want to ever cause her pain so that's why I decided to do this on my own

Veritas if you do stay with her, then it is better that you don't convert. If you do become a jw then she will look to you as her spiritual head. It will put a lot of pressure on you and her. If you get baptized, all sorts of things will be expected of you. It will become a nightmare.

cj

Dan-O

People should never convert FOR someone else...we should make changes for ourselves.

Ding! Ding! Ding! We have a winner!

Converting to JW (or any other faith) solely for the purpose of 'sealing a deal with the love of your life' is an express ride to frustration & resentment. You might as well just pound your testicles flat with a wooden mallet right now & save yourself the real pain.

Veritas

Everyone.

Once again thank you for the advice. I guess it just seems easy for me to convert because I am an Athiest and have been since I was about 10 or so. That's a long time. I guess I just figured I could keep a charade going where they would believe in me as a JW but where I would only be attending things for her. I have met her family and I go to her house almost everyday and I'm very welcome there. In a way I think if I honestly spoke with her father he would give me his blessing. He would try and convince me to convert also, but if I didn't I believe he would still give me his blessing. I have been close with her entire family for about four years now. I basically am considered a son already. Well anyway, thank you all for your helpful advice.

Dan-O

I just figured I could keep a charade going where they would believe in me as a JW

You probably could. But how would you feel every morning when go into the bathroom to brush your teeth ... and you looked in the mirror, seeing yourself & knowing that you were living a lie? Don't you think that you & she both deserve something more real & honest than that?

calamityjane

Veritas before you leave us, you said that her family is very nice to you and consider you like a son, they are only nice now so that they can try and convert you. It is called be "love bombed". They do everything in their power to convert and once you do, then you are expected to be in there for life. There are many many expectations once you make the step to convert. Please consider this please.

Undaunted Danny

Thunder

Q: Tell me about the situation with your mother.

A: My parents were Jehovah's Witness missionaries, and when I was born[1957] they were reviled for having a baby because the end of the world was coming any day; the preaching work has to get priority. My father married my mother after he met her family when he was going door-to-door. She was 17, he was 27. She was worse than legally blind. They married and it was hell. He was a rotten husband. He was a psychopath because he was a Jehovah's Witness. Rain Cloud

Veritas

Dan-O

See here's the thing. I could do that but I would tell her about it. She would know what I was doing and I know she feels strongly enough for me to go with it. Before I met her my life was Hell. Than years later(now) she is all I have and all I live for. I had been through so much that I am pretty much dead to the world emotion-wise. I didn't think I was capable of love until I met her. She is all I have. I could care less what all of them had to say about me and her. We'd be together and she would know that I will always make her happy. Thanks for all your insights. I really am taking everyones advice into consideration. Thank you.

Veritas

calamityjane

Wow. Love bombed. I guess they really want me to convert. Only me. Especially since they hate every other male who goes over there except for our best friend. He is the only male other than me they allow into her room away from them. He's been her best friend for like 9 years now and mine for about four. All the other males are allowed in the house for like 10 minutes then they are asked to leave. Most of them are just friends of mine that are with me when I go visit her. So I guess I must be pretty special for them to want me as a convert and not any of my other friends other than the one specified. Hmm...Well, please keep the advice coming.

calamityjane

So I guess I must be pretty special for them to want me as a convert and not any of my other friends other than the one specified

Um nope, your not pretty special to them. They look at you as trying to keep peace in the family and not stirring the pot with their daughter. They have resigned themselves to the fact that their daughter loves you so now they have to do whatever it takes to convert you, so that there daughter will be happy with a "believing mate".

Satanus

Veritas

She is very loyal to her faith but she also has a human side that keeps her just as loyal to me

For now, but in the yrs to come, wt programming will continue, and you may get second billing.

I had been through so much that I am pretty much dead to the world emotion-wise.

Ok, i see something here. People like you are attracted to simple solutions. Heck, we would all like a simple solution. Maybe the wt cult would make you a bit better, provided you could start believing in its god. But, if not, how would you feel when you are not being true to your own self? And, when you start feeling something about you own fakery, how would you start feeling towards the person who got you into that situation? To what might that lead, w regard to the person, w regard to her parents, w regard to the wt religion?

I had been through so much that I am pretty much dead to the world emotion-wise.

It sounds like some seriously disallusioning stuff. Might i suggest talking to a counselor, or therapist of some kind, just to get some neutral feedback?

Your name means truth. It's understandable to be willing to give up a lot for love. But will that lead to a truthful way? Most people here welcome truth, as do i. I hope that you find yours.

SS

I need your help

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