I need your help (page 5)

Veritas

Satanus

I'm sure all the depression and all would resurface if I lost her, but other than that I'm fine. Don't worry though I am seeing my psychiatrist again in a few weeks. I am 100% sure that I will never go back on my athiest beliefs but I probably would think about it for her. I still wouldn't though. She knows that and she accepts it. Yes, she may grow into a state of mind where she will want more out of me spiritually, but I figure that I'll deal with that IF it comes up. Even though pretty much all of the replies are telling me negative things about my situation I still enjoy the forum if not for the advice at least for the intelligent conversation that spawns from it. Thank you all.

Satanus

Ok, fine.

S

Veritas

Nosferatu

She actually has seen those sites with me. She didn't say it was bullshit nor did she get edgy. She said that everyone has their own opinions and she had actually been looking into it herself. I know she has loyalty to her faith, but like I said earlier she has just as much for me and herself. She is a very strong minded individual. She has even told me about some of her doubts about some of the things that the elders tell her. She actually found a verse in the bible contradicting what he had said and she pointed it out to him. He then gave her all this bullshit as an excuse but she didn't buy it. I fell even more in love with her then. She was that strong enough in herself to contradict her own religion with research she had done.

Nosferatu

I fell even more in love with her then.

If the JWs don't destroy your relationship, relying on her for your happiness will. If anything, she's getting a thrill out of dating someone outside of her faith. She's being a bad girl, and she loves the rush from it. However, if she exits the religion, she'll get bored of your sole purpose in life of making her happy.

Veritas

nosferatu

I pondered that before. For a long time, but it turns out that she does really love me. Also I don't rely on her for happiness. I love to make her happy because knowing that I did puts a smile on my face. I play guitar for that too. Don't get me wrong, she does make me extremely happy but when I play my guitar and when I play with my band for an audience, that brings me just as much happiness. Creating music to me is something just as beautiful as her.

Nosferatu

Veritas, you sound just like me a few years ago. I was with a girl who loved me, and I loved playing guitar. The girl left me, and I rarely pick up the guitar anymore.

What makes you so sure she loves you?

Veritas

Don't worry Nosferatu. Whatever happens I will always play guitar. It's going to be my job one day. Whether as a teacher or as a musician. One thing that assures me when I wonder if she really loves me is the fact that she told her father face to face that she loved me and will probably end up married to me. She's very close to her dad too so, I didn't want bad blood between them and that's how the whole converting thing came about. He is very serious about their religion. She would be really depressed if they stopped talking because of this, and I don't want that. They have always been close. She told her entire congregation too at a memorial that I was at. They looked at me kinda pissed for a minute and then she kept talking about how she loves me and they seemed to show some compassion. Those are a few things that have assured me.

Nosferatu

You can't be older than 20 years old. You've got a lot to learn about dating.

One thing that assures me when I wonder if she really loves me is the fact that she told her father face to face that she loved me and will probably end up married to me.

Actions speak louder than words. Sounds like she's trying to please you by pissing off everyone else. But she's still going to the meetings. Who does she love more, the Watctower Society, or you? Watch her actions.

I'm getting married in 10 days. This is my second engagement, first marriage. Words mean nothing.

Veritas

That's all true but why would she try that much to please me if she didn't love me. I'm sure she still does care about her religion a lot but she is a very strong minded person as I've stated before, but you are right about actions speaking louder than words. I will watch her. I'll watch to see what happens in the following weeks and months. Of course she still goes to meetings. I'm not asking her not to. I never asked her to leave her religion. I'm sure I have a lot to learn about dating but doesn't everybody. I've had my share of girlfriends and a few that were pretty serious. That is only a little experience though. Just because you get married doesn't mean you're an expert at dating right? This isn't directed only towards you but to everyone. By the way since we're on the subject, congratulations on the upcoming marriage. I wish you and yours the best. May you live long happy lives together.

Nosferatu

Just because you get married doesn't mean you're an expert at dating right?

Correct. Previous to me getting married, I was a manwhore. I was able to get a date with just about any woman I wanted. Dating got really boring. It all became repetitive, however, I didn't just settle with the next woman who came along. I ended up making a list of what I wanted, and what I didn't want in a long-term partner based on my experience in the dating world. Religion ended up being a HUGE negative, specifically the JW religion. I didn't need to marry a woman who acted like my mother. I've met a woman who fits the criteria that I laid out for my long-term partner. Marriage is a HUGE risk, and I'm willing to take it. If it doesn't work out, I'll come out fine. I've been through shit before, and I can survive it again. I'm quite fond of my future wife, but I don't need her to make my life complete.

I need your help

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