I need your help (page 7)

exjdub

Jgnat,

I love the chart and I am saving that one under my favorites.

exjdub

Vivamus

Veritas, after having read the way you write about this woman, I am silenced a bit, cuz you speak with much love. So i understand that you are willing to do everything for this woman.

There are two things that i would like to say. 1: Is she just as willing to do everything for you? A question you can answer, and its really none of my business ...

The second thing is this. Most of us have been in this religion, myself included. And we have lived the devastation it can bring to you. The control is enormous, and overwhelming. You might say that you won't get suckered in, and that is possible. I know of two people who have been a witness, and were not suckered in completely. My mum and grandma. None the less, events from them joining (and mine too ofcourse) have brought a great deal of pain to them, to their family ...

Your future wife ... is she a true believer, does she believe in that religion with her hearth and soul? Cuz if she does, it will kill her if she thinks you are not a true believer. That would mean you will die, and she will be alone. If she is not a true believer, and is not regular at meetings and stuff, well, be prepared for elders visiting you, giving you advice. Be prepared for people telling you to do more and more in the fieldservice, meetings etc. It is a time-consuming religion, i can tell you that.

You know yourself better than anyone here. And you know your love. But please, please, read on this form, ask questions and KNOW what you are getting yourself into with this religion. They are evil incarnated as far as I am concerned. I beg you, read and consider our words.

_

Blue Bubblegum Girl

Country_Woman

Reading all the posts, there are a few things I am thinking of:

1) I do have a strong impression that you are going to convert to this religion - no mather what kind of arguments against are brought in.

2) When you don't listen to given advice, its you who have to suffer for it.

3) Ain't there a possibility to marry this girl without getting babtised ? Once you are babtised there is no way back. There is a strong possibility that a marriage will not stand, when there are children involved there is a big chance that you will not be able to "see" them after a divorce. Especially since you stated that you are an atheist (and will remain one)

4) Acting as a JW and not believing in this cult, is something no ordinary man wil be able to do. It is costing you most of your time 5x a week - you will have barely time for yourself.

5) The best advice I read (except run for your life) was: Take this girl and leave together.

Don't listen to others, don't learn from mistakes that others did make, Do what you want: you have to pay for your mistakes.

--------------------------------

In vino veritas - Man can always fool themselves.

prgirl79

well seems to me that you have made up your mind that oh i love her so much that no matter what we stay you will stay and most likely convert. Well hopefully it will work and if not can't say you were not warned! You will suffere the consequences. Hope you don't add children into the equation because then it will be worse, and you will have to take them with you to all those meetings and knocking on doors. You say you don't believe it then why would you go to meetings, give up all that for something you dont believe in. Seems like you love her hope she loves you and is willing to do anything for you. I would be surprised if she did because like all others said to them the WTS is the most important.

No matter what others tell you, You live and learn sometimes you have to experience it

Like country_woman- The best advice I read (except run for your life) was: Take this girl and leave together.

Don't listen to others, don't learn from mistakes that others did make, Do what you want: you have to pay for your mistakes.

New Castles

Do not do this. You have no idea how unhappy you will become....It must be hard since it seems like you love this person, but seriously this is not something you want to venture into, it will change your life completely...and not for good.

Nosferatu

Hope you don't add children into the equation because then it will be worse,

Yeah, and if your kids don't sit still for the 2 hour meeting, you're encouraged to beat them. You will also have to take birthdays, christmas, easter, halloween, valentines day, and st. patrick's day out of your childrens' lives. Are you really prepared to give up all those holidays to make this woman happy? Not sure what kind of music or movies you like, but you'll be encouraged to throw out any heavy metal or rap albums, and replace them with Kingdom Melodies. You also will have to give up R rated movies, and violent video games. Your entertainment will be bowling on halloween night, playing pictionary at JW gatherings, and playing bible charades.

kls

Veritas, you sound very set staying with this girl and thinking her being a jw is fine so why are you asking about it?

4JWY

My best advice to you is :

WALK ON - but, not IN, to JWdum - WITH OR WITHOUT HER -. (Actually, even if she leaves JW's, you will still have a tremendous amount of crap to deal with.)

Please don't ever think that living a lie- or a charade is the way to go. I just lived a lie of believing all the JW teachings during my 25 years of marriage to a non JW who DID convert for me. Recently, both of us along with our children - after all those years of doing what we thought would please the other within the religious (cult) arena - have left the cult with an exuberance never before experienced as we realize we are who we wish we had been all the years previous. One's true personality is buried within the JW belief system - as a matter of fact, you don't really even KNOW who your love truly IS at this point. If you think she is loyal to her religion, she has fooled you - since to be loyal would mean she would not have developed this relationship with you to begin with. She is living with a load of guilt.

25 years ago, my then to be husband was given a book on Cults by the pastor of his church and he was urged NOT to marry me. But, he was the hopeless romantic like you, we married, raised JW kids and we made it work - BUT.... the years wasted in the cult can never be brought back. Now, with the benefit of all these thoughts and experiences from others, I hope you will be able to make the decision you can live with happily for ever after.

Best wishes,

4JWY

cuddlepie

Man..Research it first. Not by reading the JW publications but stories like ours. If you become a JW for her odds are youll resent her for it when they start conrtolling you. What if you both have children? Are you prepared to put the fear of armageddon in your lil child. not to mention all the other fears of satan getting you for being a jw. This is no religion for a child to be raised. From my experience and thousands of others out there. Check out www.silentlambs.org and think hard before you make this choice.

I need your help

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