A womans tears

by Maverick 131 Replies latest social relationships

  • Sunnygal41
    Sunnygal41
    What I think about it is that somehow it is true ... I've seen this myself in many ways and occasions ... women do use a double language (not everybody and less now than before why ? Because they feel more confidente and have the right to talk straight) I mean we only got the right to vote in last century ... were not even considered that we had a soul a bit before this precedent century!

    Well I think it is because women (since maybe always) have been somehow controled by men (Men was considered as superior and the leader in the house and in the society) so it was probably a strategy to get what they want. Now that we know that we're not gonna get slaped because we want lets say for instance : some fresh air, or we want more respect () we don't need that kind of thing anymore. Women who still use it, are just following there rowmodel, they have been raised in this context and way of acting (They didn't realised yet that it's over - they can be as straight as men)

    FBF, that was awesomely put! Of course, (Sunny glances deprecatingly sideways at LT) there are ALWAYS exceptions. And, I add this from my own marital experience: you've tried many many times to communicate with your mate, and they just don't get it, so, after awhile, even tho you still are having all these normal, emotional reactions for sadness and hurt and repressed feelings, you just don't want to even get into it anymore, cuz it leads nowhere.......so you say to his question "what's wrong?"........"nothing". Been there, done that. Didn't want to be dishonest, just knew it wasn't going to be resolved by talking about it. So, we ended up divorced in the end, and now, I've taken my own power as a woman and I make darn sure the guys I get involved with are willing to be emotionally available to me, like I need and want and try to be to them. This is a GREAT thread.......I think that both the sexes are actually learning something about each other on it!!! LOL! (Gives Ross a cyber-hug and a smooch on the cheek and removes his foot from his mouth for him!!)

  • Maverick
    Maverick

    God love the Scottish!

    LT I too am please with the honesty in the responses to this topic! I really wanted to know if was the only guy who froze when the tears flowed.

    I will say this, in an all male setting, men do not handle another man crying well. They will get harsh and downright hostile to some guy crying. (Not over a death or some other tragic situation). Mav

  • LittleToe
    LittleToe

    Sunny:~looks like a little lost and bewildered puppy, in the heat of sideways glance~

  • LittleToe
    LittleToe

    Mav:

    God love the English!

    P*ss off, you ignorant yanky b*st*rd!!!

    LT I too am please with the honesty in the responses to this topic! I really wanted to know if was the only guy who froze when the tears flowed.

    Yeah, it's a scary thing!!!

    I will say this, in an all male setting, men do not handle another man crying well. They will get harsh and downright hostile to some guy crying. (Not over a death or some other tragic situation).

    Aye, get a grip man. You're diluting your beer!!! I think it's getting more common to talk about feeling hurt, etc., though. However, you're right, crying is still a far more private thing.

  • Sunnygal41
    Sunnygal41
    Maybe it's the way I was raised, but it was NEVER appropriate for me to show anger. Raising my voice or cussing was not "ladylike". Arguing was inappropriate. The only acceptable release was to give way to tears, and yet that was never as complete a release as expressing the real emotion underlying the tears.

    Over the last 10 years, I've gotten a lot better at not crying over every little thing, and instead expressing the actual emotion that I'm feeling.

    Scully, this example brings up a very very valid, and scientifically/psychologically real condition. A few years ago, I bought this great book entitled "Emotionally Free - letting go of the past to live in the moment" by David Viscott, M.D. Awesome book for those dealing with repressed emotions. In this book, he shares his knowledge on how repressing emotions over the years puts us in a state of emotional backlog.......emotions that have not been allowed to be expressed naturally at the time they were first felt........we end up being like emotional pressure cookers basically, and if not allowed to be expressed, they morph and escape, finding other inappropriate channels to escape thru. He then goes on to share ways of becoming aware and getting rid of these toxic, backlogged emotions, and gives suggestions on how to continue living and interacting with a zero balance of banked emotions. I highly recommend it for the coping skills/tools that he proposes.

    Terri

  • Maverick
    Maverick

    LT, I did a bad thing...but I fixed it!

    Stupid Yank doesn't know the difference!

    My family is French, blame it on that! ...See you made me cry!!!! Mav

  • LittleToe
    LittleToe

    Mav:

    My family is French, blame it on that! ...See you made me cry!!!! Mav

    P*ss off, you ignorant yanky b*st*rd!!!

    You need to work on your European history. The French and the Scots were allies for centiries...
    (We had the sassenachs between us, to fight)
    ROFL

    Sunny:
    ~paws floor, with tail between legs~

  • Maverick
    Maverick

    Little Toe, you know what, you touchy b*st*rd, I'm not gonna say anything more to you. Try to pay some SOB a compliment and see what it gets ya! Mav

  • StinkyPantz
    StinkyPantz
    Little Toe, you know what, you touchy b*st*rd, I'm not gonna say anything more to you.

    Just don't go off cryin' about it .

  • Sunnygal41
    Sunnygal41

    (Giving LT/Ross a HUGE, LOVING hug!)

    Hey, we've all been damaged and preprogrammed by society and relationships that don't serve our well being! I think this thread has been soooo healing in so many ways, because both men and women are being so open about their particular gender issues and behaviors. Bottom line, we are all people, humans and deserve love and compassion!

    Ter

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