Sexual Harassment

by LittleToe 163 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  SixofNine

  "I feel bad for all those involved especially Princess. I also understand no one knew the level of RHCP's illness. I do, I saw it show itself when she was posting using her husbands screen name and accusing him of things he did not do. Her inconsistencies were just too blatant for me and a hand full of others to ignore. Like in many cases on this board, someone screams foul and a cheer leading section quickly forms based on limited knowledge and similar experience. After her husband and I had a discussion on the phone he confirmed my suspicions of her strange comments based on her post. His comments to me were not in a manner to put her down or make her look bad but more in an effort to try and have at least a couple of peope better understand her heart breaking problem. Her condition is not her fault but she knows better than to drink. A rational mind will keep that problem in check, an unrational mind will not."

  Good Call Dave. I didn't involve myself, frankly I'm OVER the institionalized cheering section (which does no on any good, and in many cases does harm) that is what this discussion board seems to have become, but this was definitely a person in full breakdown mode.

  As I said, anyone who does not have their shit together, should not get drunk. If that is a majority of us, so be it.
• 

  frenchbabyface

  ... ...
• 

  LittleToe

  I intentionally wanted this thread to be wider than the Fest incident because:
  A) it's been on my mind for some time, and
  B) the issue is wider than that, and
  C) the Fest incident was wider than that, too.

  Whilst I appreciate the information, Dave, I really don't want this thread getting locked for going straight down a rabbit hole that I'm trying to keep it out of.

  FYI, after the "breakdown" and DarkUncle hugging her, I hugged her myself and took her out to the lobby to regain some composure. This isn't meant as a "lets bash Red" thread.

  Six:

  frankly I'm OVER the institionalized cheering section

  Likewise.

  this was definitely a person in full breakdown mode.

  That behaviour came later, and wasn't directly related to the subject of this thread...
• 

  SixofNine

  :That behaviour came later, and wasn't directly related to the subject of this thread...

  Actually, I was referring to her life as she painted it on this board (as was Dave), not the specific melt-down of that evening.
• 

  flower

  Her inconsistencies were just too blatant for me and a hand full of others to ignore.

  After her husband and I had a discussion on the phone he confirmed my suspicions of her strange comments based on her post.

  Her condition is not her fault but she knows better than to drink. A rational mind will keep that problem in check, an irrational mind will not.

  Was her husband, you, and the other hand full of people aware that she was going to the fest? Did anyone advise her it wasnt a good idea and that there is usually a lot of boozing and smoking involved? I mean if she was blatantly irrational on the board then why was she encouraged to attend the fest? or did she just show up unexpectedly?
• 

  seven006

  D
• 

  WildHorses

  What would you deem as unfitting behaviour?
  Is it appropriate for a guy to ask if you are wearing any panties? Are there any circumstances, for a stranger, where this would be appropriate? How about if there were no discernible panty line? Would you be asking for it? How about if he then went the extra step of trying to look up your skirt or using a camera to do so, or even lifting it? What would be appropriate recourse, especially if they?d been repeatedly asked to desist?

  Being the curious person I am and if I were in a joking mood and "knew" the person. I would most likely ask. Heck, I asked you online once when you were at the Texas fest what you had on under that kilt. BUT, in no way would it be appropriate for me to actually try to lift that kilt to find out. IMHO that would be totally disrespectful and yes, IMO it would be harrasment. Asking is one thing, but actually invading that persons comfort zone and touching them is way out of line.

  Also, if I didn't know that person, I wouldn't even ask them. It's none of my business.
• 

  Princess

  I deleted my earlier post because I just don't want to string this out any further.

  Was her husband, you, and the other hand full of people aware that she was going to the fest? Did anyone advise her it wasnt a good idea and that there is usually a lot of boozing and smoking involved? I mean if she was blatantly irrational on the board then why was she encouraged to attend the fest? or did she just show up unexpectedly?

  I had no idea she was coming.
• 

  flower

  I'm trying to ascertain what folks generally see as acceptable behaviour.
  I wonder if in some cases we checked our sensibilities in at the door when we entered the JW's and never checked them out again (or in the case of lifers, never picked them up) once we left...

  That is a good point, and probably true in some cases. When you are a dub EVERYTHING is twisted. Shunning is loving and acceptable, stabbing your friends in the back and turning them in for smoking or whatever is acceptable, cutting off family members is acceptable ect, treating a woman like a second class citizen is acceptable. Not only acceptable behaviors but expected!

  I think, especially those lifetime jw's who leave, have to 'un learn' those twisted views of what was acceptable/unacceptable while being careful not to just decide that anything and everything goes now as long as one doesnt get caught (if its against the law).

  Its hard to know whether something is unacceptable or not when you walk into a party if, as a dub, you've only been given twisted, exagerrated examples of what goes on at 'worldly' parties. If you see something there that you think is completely unacceptable you may just think to yourself, you may not trust yourself to make that decision or not want to be the one responsible for 'ruining' the fun.

  I think most people eventually get to the point where they know what is truly ok and what is crossing the line.
• 

  Steve Egner

  Ross,

  Keeping it "general"...

  I like to approach an individual from the conservative side, conveying a sense of dignity toward them, even if they may not be projecting one themselves. My manner might change as I become more familiar with that individual, but I still maintain a conservative boundary toward the opposite sex, and any activity which might be interpreted as invasive, possibly stripping them of their dignity.

  Most of the people I've met from this board, without articulating it, seem to follow a similar standard.

  Steve