Bizarre news story

by BoozeRunner 118 Replies latest jw friends

bigboi

Kenyata:
Yeah, that's all I was saying. I was just bringing the discrespancy to the forefront is all. I think guys should pay for their kids, no doubt. It's not the kid's fault that their here and they deserve to be taken care of, no matter who made the decision to brimg them here. I know I woruld work three jobs shit shovelin to make sure my kid had everything they needed. I'm glad you posted your experience with your husband. It shows a whole new perspective on the issue.
Everybody can't spend 20,00/yr on their child. While I admit it can take 20,00/yr to support a kid. It absolutely, positively doesn't have to. Contrary to what was said yesterday, a kid can have a pretty descent quality of life just being raised on hundreds. They might not go skiing, golfing, take numerous trips throughout the yr or go to expensive theme parks. However, they can still grow up to be well-adjusted, responsible individuals with a practical and progressive view of the world.
I agree with your statement that the main reason why ncp's don't like to pay is because most often they don't agree with they way the money is being spent. Too often the children's money is taken to support a lifestyle upgrade for the cp. It's just common sense. What person if they have an extra $1000 a month coming their way isn't going to spend at least a little on themselves? When it's done irresponsibly then the children suffer and that ain't right. As I've said before it's the chidren's money, not the cp's compensation for separation.
ONE....
bigboi
"it ain't what ya do. it's how you do it" quote from the song "True Honeybunz" by Bahamadia
kenyata

To Justathought,
I'm sure that a 12 year old doesn't eat $400 a month in food, come on. And clothes, no one has to shop for their kids every month. If you buy clothes that fit them to a tee, yes you will be buying clothes every few months. When you buy kids clothes, you buy them at least 2 sizes to big, they can grow in them. Most parents go summer shopping and winter shopping. I have 3 kids, 6, 3 and 1 year. My 6 year old eats every 2-3 hours, small meals. Even so, she doesn't eat that much worth in money a month. Even when I was pregnant, and you know if your pregnant, most females have appetites and cravings. I can understand shelter, medical, school cost, but clothes and food is a little much.
JustAThought

I'm sure that a 12 year old doesn't eat $400 a month in food, come on.

Okay, after looking at the stats LDH gave the links to yesterday and rethinking this through, maybe $400.00 a month is a bit much for food for a 12 year old. Of course, it depends on what 12 year old we're talking about. I've seen 12 year olds who look like they're about 6 (the Gary Coleman types, though usually thinner), and I've seen some 12 year olds who could be mistaken for Ice Cube. And I'm thinking that $400.00 a month is only about $13.00 a day, and when you factor in school lunch and snacks .... I don't know? Most definitely, I'm sure I'm heavily influenced by the fact that I'm raising young men in their late teens, who request literally frightening orders at the drive-thru window. Oh well, ... we're just praying for the day when they're payin' for it themselves. But, all in all it was ...
JustAThought
JustAThought

When you made the comment that children are burdens, that sounds so harsh. A child isn't a burden, they are blessings.

Not to critique, only to clarify, ... my statement was ...
There is an inherent biological disproportion in the burden of bearing a child.
... and I meant the term in the same way that Webster first defines it ...
... something carried, a load.
I do view children as blessings, ... but am realistic enough to understand that if I have one (or more), I'm going to be doing some carrying (most times, happily, I concede) for a good while.
JustAThought
LDH

I want to clarify, too.
I said our TOTAL food bill for three people is $400, her portion maybe $125.
(As an aside, healthy nutritious food is always more expensive than the CRAP most uneducated parents feed their kids.)
Anyhow, Kenyata, I was never saying you HAVE to have at least $20,000 to raise a child. Although if you will look at the website links I posted you will see the figure is not far off.
The situation your husband's ex put him in is the exact reason some NCP's choose to work under the table. AND like I said, it isn't only men. My friend's ex-wife was ordered to pay cs as I mentioned earlier. After 8 years of her receiving cs for two kids, $800/month. And not doing one DAMN thing. He was still buying clothes, shoes, etc. Or to be more specific, his new wife was.
The judge ordered the NCP to pay support, and as soon as money started coming out of her check, (two weeks) she quit her job. Now she works at home babysitting (no one is supposed to know this) and probably makes the same amount, since she doesn't even claim the income.
You can't make someone who doesn't want to be responsible, responsible. Period. They will always find a way around it.
bigboi

LDH:
(As an aside, healthy nutritious food is always more expensive than the CRAP most uneducated parents feed their kids.)
WTF!!!!!!
"it ain't what ya do. it's how you do it" quote from the song "True Honeybunz" by Bahamadia
WhyNow2000

I am all for paying for child support. But are the children really getting the support or is the money being spent on oneself, boyfriend, or girlfriend? Parents who receive child support should be required to account on a regular basis how and where the money is being spent. Any unused money should be put in trust fund for the children. I have seen to many children suffer while the parent is living a "high" lifestyle with children's money.
In regards to regulating birthing due to overpopulation, education, education, education. I am tempted to tell people who advcate regulation, to relagate themselves from this earth.
Billygoat

Bigboi,
I have some new respect here for you because you showed humility in one of your threads. Just try to remember that people are talking from their own experiences. When you haven't experienced what they're talking about (especially stuff from women) it's a good idea to just sit back, shut up, and say you understand. You don't have to agree. Heehee! I'm glad you got everything resolved!
Billygoat
bigboi

Billygoat:
Well thanks for ya comment. I didn't think my remarks were disrepectful, they were spoken from ignorance, not malice. However if they come across as offensive I will aploize if i deem it neccessary. I don't like to take responsibility for how ppl take my comments, but I'm certainly not above apologizing for my share in any percieved hurt feelings.
I still hold to some of my opinions I've stated in this thread. I just saw a new perspective that I hadn't seen before, is all. From the tone of the responses to my post I saw that I had offended some. Some posters responded reasonably and helped me see certain points i did not see before. I therefore apologized for my ignorant statements and hoped for no further ill will that's all.
I will never just shut up and agree with just any woman. Only two of them gets that kind of preference from me. I hve an opinion that's just as valid as anyone else's. Besides if I had been quiet about this subject, I would have deprived myself of a valuable learning experience.
ONE....
bigboi
"it ain't what ya do. it's how you do it" quote from the song "True Honeybunz" by Bahamadia
Andee

Big Boi,
Everybody can't spend 20,00/yr on their child. While I admit it can take 20,00/yr to support a kid. It absolutely, positively doesn't have to. Contrary to what was said yesterday, a kid can have a pretty descent quality of life just being raised on hundreds. They might not go skiing, golfing, take numerous trips throughout the yr or go to expensive theme parks. However, they can still grow up to be well-adjusted, responsible individuals with a practical and progressive view of the world.
Well, don't be shocked, but I competely agree with you on this! In fact, my kids are living proof (so far anyway) of it. I don't believe that "things" and trips make for a happy well-adjusted kid.
My opinion is that the kids lifestyle should reflect that of both parents income. If the NCP makes significantly more than the CP then the kids support should reflect that.
Too often the children's money is taken to support a lifestyle upgrade for the cp. It's just common sense. What person if they have an extra $1000 a month coming their way isn't going to spend at least a little on themselves? When it's done irresponsibly then the children suffer and that ain't right.
Oh please! Listen I know this does happen, but it's rare! For every story like this there is probably hundreds to the contrary. That is, the CP getting stuck footing the whole bill. I know our local district attorney office, which is responsible for collect arrears child support, is completely overwhelmed by caseloads of deadbeat parents.
Too often the children's money is taken to support a lifestyle upgrade for the cp. It's just common sense. What person if they have an extra $1000 a month coming their way isn't going to spend at least a little on themselves? When it's done irresponsibly then the children suffer and that ain't right. As I've said before it's the chidren's money, not the cp's compensation for separation.
Awwwww too bad.
I will give an example:
Let's say Big Name Sports Star (BNSS) meets and has sex with some hot little groupie. She's has a little part time job and lives with her parents. She gets pregnant and won't kill it if though BNSS offered to pay for it and even if her a nice tidy settlement(let's say 50 grand)to go away. This girl has dollar $ign$ dancing in her eyes! BNSS makes 5 mil a year! Miss Groupie gets Mr. Hot Shot lawyer and sues for support. She manages to get $20 grand a month child support plus be has to pay all Dr bills, start a college fund, dentist, etc.
She has the baby and is able to afford a lovely home for her and the kid. Buys a nice car for the kid to ride in and shops for the kids clothes a Neiman Marcus. She able to take the kid on trips to Hawaii,etc. Lifestyle upgrade, you bet! However, since she and the kid are a package. It's just too bad. Not fair? Probably, but hey! moral of the story, know where you put your penis guys! Always approach each sexual encounter as a potential kid! Unless you wanna get clipped! Or Mr. BNSS could always try to get custody and be the CP himself.
If the CP is spending CS on themselves and the kids aren't eating and dressed in rags, well then, call the local child protection agency and sue for custody. My only concern is for the children. Adults have CHOICES and the kids DON'T.
I will also concur with Billygoat, Big Boi, you have shown incredible composure while being hit from all sides. I may not agree with you, however, I certainly respect you. You haven't offended me in the least! You are entitled to your opinion as we all are. I just feel passionately about this one in particular because it involves kids.
I have appreciated reading everyones posts!
Andee

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