by FreedomFrog 88 Replies latest jw friends
I quit smoking about a year ago. Even though I know it is bad for my health and it is a stinky nasty habit, I still want one every once in a while. I can't help but think about what it would be like to smoke one again. The same thing happens when you quit the Watchtower.
pseudo
...maybe my next task should be studying more on the men making all these rules.
Actually, that's a great place to look. Read some of Russell or Rutherford's words, also the book "The Four Presidents of the WT Society". The conception of "Jehovah's Witnesses" is downright comical to behold.
How many of you believe in a god? I feel bad that I waiver on this. I WANT so badly to believe (if it's true), but I don't want to be fooled again. If there is a god I want to get closer to him. From all the misquotes, covering ups, lies, and such...I start wondering if any of it's true. But then I look at how the earth, universe, flowers, molecules and so much more, I can't imagine that there isn't a god. I have so much to learn and so much to research on. But I've had to take a break for a while because I've felt like I was getting over loaded by this stuff.
I was told by my sisters friend that I was going to go to hell because of "riding on the fence line". I guess I'll just have to "go to hell" because I'm not going to just take just anyone's word for it. Been there, done that.
turn to Luke 21:8, it really helps to keep that in mind.
Thanks tc...that's exactly why I won't take ANYONES word for being the "right" religion.
FF
I have to admit...you guys are SO wonderful. I wasn't sure how my question was going to be taken. You all have hearts of gold. Thanks for understanding and letting me see that I'm not alone on this. Hubby has been encouraging me to post something on this matter because it had been bothering me but I was a bit of a chicken I guess. I already heard (from my sisters friend) that I was going to go to hell because of it. That's NOT what I need right.
I'm still searching for god...if there is one. My mind is open and I will find him if he's there...and if he isn't, then I'll find that out too. My CURRENT thinking is that there HAS to be a god.
FF
I read something that the DO have correct.
Well, even a broken clock is right twice a day.
But seriously, from time to time I get a touch of Armageddon-itis and it is then and only then that thoughts of "what if the JW's really were right" flash through my mind.
Perhaps you need to read up on the history of Armageddon. Because more than anything, JW's are a doomsday cult and I think that that part of the programming is the most powerful part, and creates the Fear Factor of "oh no, what if they really are right?" I see that you are reading books on spiritual abuse, this is a good thing. Reading up on other cults, such as Jim Jones or the Branch Davidians, might help you to get some perspective also.
I can tell you that after three years, I almost never have those feelings of "what if they were right". It all seems very silly in retrospect, and the more distant the JW experience becomes in my rearview mirror the more I can laugh about it and know without any tinge of doubt that I did the right thing when I left. But learning to live without the comfort of a theological worldview that has an (often tortured) answer to every question is probably a lifelong project for many ex-JW's, and not an easy one, and in this respect I have the deepest sympathy for you, cuz life ain't easy.
"Men make gods of wood and stone, but the true god they've not known." Men make gods. Too many of the traits of God are like man's. The cynical side of me says that some real shrewd men, in order to protect themselves, their families, and their posessions, created the concept of a God. With that came the "laws and rules" that have evolved to what we have today. Every day other "shrewd" men try to put their twist on these "laws and rules" so that they can control their surroundings, and their fellow man. The hopeful side of me wants to believe in a loving, generous creator. I find myself growing less and less patient. I want that creator to make things clear. To stop observing and set things straight. Not talking "Armageddon" here. Just something I can grab ahold of again. Forgive me for going on on this...Just haven't had anyone I can say these things to without putting them in an awkward or uncomfortable situation.
I still believe in God . Tho never a dubby I did study for a short while and found out just how sneaky and underhanded their theology and mentality are . You can live according to Gods laws without a publishing corporation breathing down your neck , just because the WTBTS thinks people turn into some sort of depraved animal once you leave does not mean that's true either . Just think of what you can do without all the book studies that teach things that are only true until they change it to something else later . I think all religions are cults and are hazardous to spirituality . The hypocrisy in the WTBTS is very obvious especially after reading others exsperiences and reflecting on your own . I've known many J dubs in my life and man what a waste of space they are .
:I was told by my sisters friend that I was going to go to hell
I had a born again friend of mine tell me the exact same thing. It's always the same story with religionists : do what we're doing or you're dead. If they don't come right out and say it they secretly believe it.
Freedom Frog have you read "Who Wrote the Bible" by Richard Friedman? I found it really great for getting over the fundamentalist Bible stuff. That's where most of my unfounded fears were coming from.
GBL
heathen...I have to agree with you on your thinking of other religions. I haven't found one yet that doesn't have some kind of control. I (like I said earlier) currently think that there is a god...but I can't buy into these other religions just yet. My current belief is that there is a god and you do what you think he wants you to do. Not what others say for you to do. But then again, I do waiver and that can change even by tomorrow.
have you read "Who Wrote the Bible" by Richard Friedman?
GBL...no, I haven't. There have been several books recommended on this thread that I want to get. So, I'll add that one to my list too. Thanks!
FF
FF, I have been dealing with the same feelings,
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/7/87560/1.ashx
The true freinds on this board have been very helpful and supportive. But what you are feeling is common. Just have to examine all things and be true to yourself and your own logic.
