still a lil scared but definately leaving (page 5)

4JWY

(((OklaX)))

As a 40+ year JW, and being a mom who left the organization during the last couple of years - with my husband and teens, my heart goes out to you. You are courageous and intelligent and I would only like to encourage you to perhaps slow down just a bit with the move out.

I know how much dissonance a young person can experience when being raised in this cult. I was raised in it --- and it wasn't until I realized what it was doing to my own offspring - that I faced the facts. What right did I, as a parent, have to force my kids to shut down their own thinking ability and accept with no questioning, the cult's teachings? I was asking myself, WHAT GOD would EXPECT me to do this to my kids??? No god that I wanted any part of. We are all unique individuals with our own BRAINS - and the, if you believe.... "god-given" right to USE them.

I hope your parents and grandma would get to the point of considering these thoughts - but the brainwashing goes deep and it takes a certain something in each one's own experience, to get the light to come on. It's a sick people that suggest killing oneself as better than leaving the organization and many have made the suggestion. PLEASE DO NOT CONSIDER IT.

You are probably reading a lot of areas of the board. There was a recent thread that posted 1988 Awake articles that were a great help to me when I tried to explain to my kid's grandpa, why they were not attending meetings anymore. I also went over these articles with two elders. The articles REALLY can get a JW parent to start thinking......since the message is written by their own cult, and the info can be applied to ALL PEOPLE, not just to "WORLDLY" folks. It would be great if you could read these articles before you talk to your folks again.

http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/9/89504/1.ashx LETTER TO MOM

I'm sure your school counselor will help you with some of your thoughts too - if there was any way you could stay at home, with the family coming to some acceptance of YOU ....... I love my son so much for being courageous, like you, and helping me to see how wonderful it is to be a mom - allowing your child to be who they really are. Perhaps your parents will one day know this joy too.

All the best to you

4JWY

Quotes

Okla, like others here have stated, I too am PROUD of both your intelligence and your courage.

If you haven't yet tipped your hand, you are in the stronger position right now. Don't do anything rash. Play it cool. Talk to your Guidance Counsellor (your are absolutely correct, that IS what they are there for!).

The problem is that once you play your hand, they burn the bridges behind you. Although that will likely happen eventually anyway, it is good to let it happen only when YOU are ready for it. Until that time, BE ALOOF! Simply say you don't feel like going to the meeting or in service. Say it with a sincere, even tone, but be firm. Say you are to busy at school, say you don't feel well, even saying you are depressed is a valid reason. Just don't say you think it is CRAP until you are ready to execute your carefully prepared exit plan.

I know (as does everyone else here) how HARD it is to sit there and listen to the BOVINE EXCREMENT at this point. Use the time to think and plan and mentally prepare your escape.

My best friend (who posts here under the name Beans) stopped going to meetings when he was 16. It can be done. You have to make the journey on your own, but take comfort in the knowledge that others have successfully made the trip before you.

Best Wishes and Good Luck for you!

~Quotes, of the "wishing I could turn the clock back 20 years so I too could exit at 16" class

OklaXwitness

well im going to school right now i wanted to get this over with but it might b e worth it as the last person said to wait a while and think about how i wanna do this ill talk to the guidance counselor today i dont think she will understand how serious this is so i will give her some of the links i have read such as http://www.xjw.com/whatcult.html and some of the links in here http://members.aol.com/beyondjw/bj.htm and ill probably give her the link to this post peace out guys thanks for all the input i got lucky last night my lil brother graduated from kindergarden so i didnt have to go to the meeting anyway lol

LittleToe

Glad to hear you got an easy "out" regarding the meeting, last night

It'll take a while for the counsellor to digest the material. Give her time and she may come through, for you

Proud of ya, bud

OklaXwitness

well i talked to the counselor she doesnt really understand how bad the situation is shes not really intitled to take my whole side of the issue but she does agree about me thinking for myself and making this decision on my own she told me that i should try and talk to my parents which i will soon maybe sometime this weekend she wants me to tell her how it goes so her talkin to me doesnt really change anything but it has made me more confident and she also gave me a new question that i had never thought of If this is the truth why would information from outside the society be of harm . . . if it was the truth there would be no way to invalidate the society or its publications.

LittleToe

She won't be able to truly understand unless she's been involved in a cult herself, but she'll try her best - be patient with her

Her question is a wholey appropriate one!!! She did well to cut to the heart of that matter

OklaXwitness

lol well i might tell em this weekend there is definately no way of getting me back now

Double Edge

lol well i might tell em this weekend there is definately no way of getting me back now

Good.... you're firm in the direction you want to go. However, be 'smart' about it....don't rush, time is on your side to think it out strategically to your benefit, not to others. Stay with this board, and fill us in. There's a lot of good advice that can be given to you by people who have walked in your shoes. After all, why make it harder on yourself than it has to be. An attitude of 'indifference', or "whatever" can go a long way, and become non-threatening to anyone...thereby buying you time and giving you some peace of mind. Take care. my 2 cents.

OklaXwitness

aight i want everyone to post how they think i should do this and then ill mix it all up into how i want to do it just like give me suggestions what not to do i thought about staying in and trying to make me people start thinking but i thought about it for a while and i really just wanna get out as fast as possible the way i see it no one would listen to me because of how much of a grip the society has on them tomorrow i might tell my parents i really want to tomorrow but if u guys give me some kind of reason not to then i wont so post!!!

lisaBObeesa

When I told my parents I didn't want to be a JW any more, I told them I 'was seriously questioning the exisitance of God.' I said NOTHING BAD about the JWs. I just kept bringing up reasons I wasn't sure God was real. This was still a difficult talk, but they couldn't use the bible on me because I was saying I didn't 100 % believe in the bible.

I think it was an easier way to go. But still tough. Went through lots of tears from my parents and a meeting with the elders that lasted hours and hours. But in the end they still spoke to me...I think because I didn't challenge the Org. Just God.

And I had to keep going to the meetings because I lived under their roof, yadda yadda yadda. I moved out as soon as I could. It was rough but I surrived. If I could have I would have stayed home a bit longer because it was hard those first few years and I was young.

still a lil scared but definately leaving

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