Jealousy.
I submit that the source of jealousy is a fear of loss. Generally in life, I fear very little anyway, even death. I hardly ever feel jealousy and when I do feel it, I do not ask what Gabie is doing wrong, but what I am doing wrong. Have I been neglecting her? Have I not rendered value? Have I been pre-occupied with something else and not been as attentive as I should? Have I not demonstrated and articlated my love? If the answer is yes to any of that and a few more question, I will correct it and feel jealous no longer. It is a reminder to me to treasure my love.
If however the answer is no, recognizing that I do not profess to be all things to her, then I will ponder whether there is something Gabie needs that I am incapable of providing, and if I am, I will not browbeat myself that I can't, but merely help her get her need or want filled.
I maintain that your prime moral obligation in life is to ensure your own happiness. Do not live for the sake of another, nor require any to live for the sake of yours. Life is not a dress rehearsal. So if I am not the one that will be the best for Gabie in her life, she owes it to herself to pursue the highest value. I do not own her and she owes me nothing, other than the value we exchange. I may be sad for the loss, but not jealous that she is improving the quality of her life. Naturally I always strive to be the best to and for her and and always, always give it my all and know she knows that, and am very confident she has no reason to go elsewhere.
The problem lies not in that you experience the emotion, but what you do with it.
How do I control my jealousy?!! Help!
by Crumpet 63 Replies latest jw experiences
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Stephen John Gault
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Icansaylucky
Crumpet, after reading your profile, I can't help but be concerned that you mention "killing someone" in your opening post to this thread. Whether it was a figure of speach or not. Am I reading your profile correctly as to the reason you were disfellowshipped the first time or were you being ficitious? Hope the later is true.
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georgefoster
Crumpet, you sound like my wife. Soon to be ex-wife. She's jealous of any relationship that I have, whether it be friends, family, employees. I've cut off many people to prove to my wife that those relationships are not so important. It makes for a miserable relationship. There's probably no way to fix it though, because jealousy is an unconscious impulse.
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rebel8
Some brief tips:
When you're having an unwanted emotion that seems out of place to you, ask yourself:
- What thoughts and perceptions am I having that are leading me to feel this way? (Might take a lot of thought to answer that if they're subconscious.)
- What evidence do I have to support those beliefs?