My wifes struggle (page 2)

bebu

Hi gringojj (and wife),

I have not been a JW, but I will say that one important thing that prevents me from becoming a JW is the two-faced attitude toward the Bible. That is, on one hand the WTS promotes itself as being ultimately concerned with following only what God said in the Bible, to a 'T'. But if you look at this page, you will see that their only concern has been "unity at any cost", even if the cost is to disobey God. These words are from a court transcript from the 1950s. This is nothing like the words of Peter, that they would rather obey God than man. It is rather shocking, to say the least. And this quiet WTS reality is probably not what you believed you were involved with, was it?

http://watchtower.observer.org/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20040312/DOCTRINE/10527012

If you are concerned that maybe they are 'right'... notice that that attitude reflects a concern for doing what God wants. Because God will judge, not the WTS. And God has made it abundantly clear in both OT and NT, that there is NO occasion to be permitted at all, ever, for following a false prophet. EVER. How is it that the WTS leaders could ever say they are to be followed unreservedly, even if they are false prophets??? And, more incredibly, that the baptized JW who validly expresses that a false prophecy as false is worthy of death???

Isn't deception what a cult is all about? And realize, that you may know if someone is making you angry; you may know if someone is making you upset or happy; but the inherent nature of deception means that you don't know that someone is deceiving you. I applaud you for 'testing all things', because thru this kind of wise attitude you will escape the snare of this (and other) deception.

bebu

Sassy

Good luck for you and your wife. I understand her wanting not to upset her mother. My mother is the only baptised witness in my family and I had to make a choice, either be a JW or not have her. If your wife was never baptised the rules are different though. I was, so stopping being a JW, force my mom to 'obey' the WTS and shun me (even though I've never been disfellowshipped or disassociated) Everytime I think for even a second of going back to have her in my life I think about all the hypocrasy of the WTS. I remember being afraid at first when I quit, wondering if I made the wrong choice, but everytime I think about it, I think about all the things which they do contrary to the bible and contrary to what they teach. So if they are not honest, how can they be the only ones on earth Jehovah would direct? It makes no sense. Someone mentioned buying the book Crisis of Conscience. If she has never read it, get one for her. It helped me see things clearly.

gringojj

Thanks for all the input. I also wanted to mention the pioneer she studied with is 21 years old and has been completely sheltered by the jws all her life. Its funny because sometimes I would give my wife a good stumper and she would say" I will have to get back to you on that one". She would come back with some half ass answer. In response to the generation question, she returned with a classic line, "it doesnt mean what it says". That was a good one. I gave my wife a bunch of questions to give the elders, all about 1914, the UN, false prophecies, all that stuff. When she first read them she told my wife they were good questions. I realized that was probably the first time she had been exposed to that stuff. The elders declined to answer based on the belief that I had gotten the questions from apostates. The girl then told my wife that she also felt they were apostate. lol. My wife contends i cannot be an apostate because i have never been baptised. Intersting side note. A few months back the girl told me she was going to have a surprise baby shower for my wife and she would let me know when she picks a date. Well i still hadnt heard any date from her and my family wanted to know when it was going to be because my wife was 7 months pregnant(My family has nothing to do with jws but she had said it would be fine for them to come, how nice of them) Well I called her about the same time all the meeting stuff was going down, and she told me she has been so busy she hasnt had time to think about it. So i guess if i hadnt asked she was just not going to say anything. Its obvious she decided not to have it because my wife had been missing meetings. Well my family is now having it and no jws will be invited. I guess thats real love. "I will be your friend as long as you make all your meeings". I am kinda pissed i was looking forward to the dubs buying my wife shower gifts. LOL

blondie

A few months back the girl told me she was going to have a surprise baby shower for my wife and she would let me know when she picks a date. Well i still hadnt heard any date from her

Just as she thought the questions were good until she ran it by someone else, I think she was sincere about the party but found out she couldn't have a party for an unbaptized person.

Blondie

gringojj

Blondie what are you talking about? She couldnt have the shower?

blondie

Many elders will not allow JWs to sponsor showers for people who are not JWs and invite other JWs.

I take it your wife is not baptized although raised a JW (pardon me if I have that wrong).

Unbaptized people who are studying will not be able to have their wedding at the KH nor a JW give the wedding talk unless the BOE approaves and I have never seen a body of elders approve it.

The same principle applies to giving showers for people who are just studying. There have been a few, very few exceptions in my lifetime, usually people that were going to be baptized at the next assembly/convention.

I would ask her if she is following through on it because I think she might be embarrased to say anything if the elders did nix the idea.

Blondie

gringojj

Wow good stuff blondie i didnt know that but it makes sense. Why would cong members buy gifts for people who arent in the "in" crowd. Disgusting.

delilah

Just a thought Gringojj....I totally understand your wife's fears, and questions, AND, her desire to make her mother happy. However, she has two and a half children, and you, that are her first priority, not her mother. There comes a time, when our mothers need to understand, that maybe the "truth" isn't for us, or our family. You know, the JW's always say that the children have a choice, that they can choose the truth or not, but when all is said and done, the kids have NO choice. If we decide we don't want the truth, then it's "BYE-BYE, there's the door." I really hope your wife makes her decision, one way, or the other, for the better of her family, NOT for her mother's happiness. Good luck, and all the best to you and your family.

Delilah (Spent my life trying to please my mother, to no avail).

sass_my_frass

Hi you poor pregnant lady! What a time to be going through this! Hey I hope you're well otherwise.

For most of my life I was willing to believe what I was told because it came from people who seemed to know what they were talking about, could reason it through, seemed intelligent etc. I never looked into it myself. Important thing I tell myself all the time now; if they're not willing to face some questions, to reason an argument out, they don't know what they're talking about. These people who you study with absolutely must be able to answer any question that you or your man puts to them. Look for answers, not a simple whitewash solution for what you want in your life. You're probably looking for security for your family, you're probably enjoying the love that they show you. Ask yourself, did you always get that love? You might have been scared by 9/11 or the tsunami or something, but don't let the confusion of life get to you... if you commit yourself and your children to this, you're taking on more than a few friendly new people and nice dreamy future.

Research; your life and your children's future is worth it.

gringojj

You are right and all I have to tell the elders when they ask me why I am questioning them is because its life or death. Its that simple the blood issue makes it a life or death matter and my wife agrees we owe it to our children before we are ever faced with the question of a transfusion wether or not the wts is right. They really cant refute that.

My wifes struggle

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