Posts by SM62

24

Family Merit / Demerit - Core Watchtower Doctrine - says FDS

by garybuss in

the watchtower sept. 15, 1976 pages 575-6 questions from readers

questions from readers

first corinthians

SM62

I used to study with an old lady who was in her 90s and a bit senile. She was lovely and I was very fond of her. We would spend 3 or 4 hours just chatting, drinking tea etc before I started the study. I would only count time for the hour or less that I actually studied with her. One elder pulled me up on spending so much time with her (I used to visit her a couple of times during the week as she loved company and, other than a home-help, had no visitors). The elder said that I could spend my time more beneficially visiting the elderly 'brothers and sisters' in the congregation instead. When I pointed out that she was a prospective sister, he said that it was highly unlikely because she didn't have the 'mental capacity' to be a sister. I was so depressed after this! He said I was to stick to a short study, keep strictly to the book being studied, and not spend so much time socialising as she was getting the wrong idea. So in other words, don't be a good neighbour or be kind or anything, that's not what I was there for. I was there to offload literature and count time! I realised then that this elder was a jerk!

By the way, apart from a couple of times, nobody would come with me on this study because she used to go off the point quite a bit and it was hard keeping her on track. One sister came with me for 2 weeks running but, when I said I only counted the time actually spent studying on my monthly report, she didn't come again. I think she wanted to count the 3 hours drinking tea also.

She died not long after the elder made his 'loving' comments.

Terri

13

A big issue for ex-witnesses?

by JeffT in

jw
friends

after watching so many of the flame wars/battles going on on this board, ive reached a conclusion about what may be the biggest issue that faces ex-witnesses: learning how to deal with conflict is a new experience.

in the world of the borg, there is no conflict.

you conform to the group, or you are not part of the group.

SM62

JeffT,

I found your comments very interesting.

For someone who became a JW as an adult, I used to feel frustrated at the enforced gagging-order on sisters. I was annoyed because, whenever I expressed myself, I was looked down upon as a trouble maker. Now I am leaving the organisation, I will once again be able to express myself freely. I can see why some people, when they finally break free of the WTS, go a bit overboard with their idea of free speech. They probably think they can say anything about anything and sod the consequences, but really you can't if you really care about others.

I also agree with your point on walking away from an argument. So many times a row can get out of hand and people say things (or write in this case) in the heat of the moment and then really regret it afterwards.

I am so annoyed at some of the WTS practices - I really have to watch what I say at times. I don't have the right to trash my husband's religion to his face just because I don't want to belong to it any more. As long as he lets me get on with my life, he can do as he pleases as regards being a JW. And just because I don't accept the ridiculous headship arrangement any more (mind you, I never did), it doesn't mean I can make whatever spiteful comment I want to him. I realise I have to tone down my speech at times. Breaking free of the WTS is so liberating, I have to be careful I don't hurt others with my thoughtless remarks.

Sorry - seem to be waffling off the point a bit!

Terri

127

Hi I am Caspians sister and this is my first day here.

by Lainey in

jw
friends

hello this is my first post and i wanted to introduce myself so here goes.. my name is lainey, and i have not been to the meetings for about 4 years now.. i am 28 and work as a doctor in a big city university hospital as a sho.. also for my sins, i am cassies little sis, and i am staying with him for a little while, as i am signed off sick for the next month with a stress related disorder.. after the death of my older bro and my dad within the past few months, i started suffering from terrible nightmares, most of them connected in some way to my witness upbringing.. me and cassie have talked for some length and he suggested that i spend some time having a look on this site and meeting others who have had similar issues to face in life.. i hope you are all are better listeners than cassie, who tends to fall asleep when i am in the middle of talking to him.

(brothers!!!

) btw he hates being called cassie lol.. anyway i am not a big talker, so i probably wont post a lot, however i am going to scout around for a while.. thanks .

SM62

Hi Lainey,

I am still a bit of a newbie but just wanted to say hello and welcome.

I have received so much info since I started lurking and then posting to this board.

I am feeling a bit down at the mo but just had to chip in to such a loooooooong welcome thread.

Hope you feel better soon.

Terri

22

Did The Elders Always Talk With You "In A Spirit of Mildness"???

by minimus in

jw
friends

jw's, are as a rule, self-righteous pharisees.

they were the first to "report" you if they believed that you did something not up to standards.

even if you started "thinking" a certain way that might be considered "worldly", you might be talked to by 2 elders to "readjust you in a spirit of mildness.

SM62

The strange thing is, the elders always avoid me. I have had a 'chat' with them a couple of times re. my talking to disfellowshipped ones, but nothing that would be classed as 'counsel'. They tend to look down when I come towards them and avoid having anything to do with me. I am sure I am not being paranoid (or am I)

Terri

78

If Your Child or Friend Told You They Were Gay, Would You Be Disturbed?

by minimus in

jw
friends

as a jehovah's witness, you know that you cannot practice homosexuality.

it's considered a sin.

if your friend or relative revealed that they were gay, you would be obligated to "report" them to the elders.

SM62

I haven't read all this thread, so I hope I am not repeating what has been said.

All I can say is this - I love my children so much, that no matter what they said to me, as long as they were not hurting anyone, I would still love them. My love for them overcomes my own personal prejudices. I love them unconditionally.

Terri

11

Jesus - was he just an exceptional teacher?

by SM62 in

i have been doing a lot of soul-searching lately.. i have never considered questioning the bible before.

as a child, i was taught that to question the bible was blasphemous.

but lately, since coming to this forum and reading all the various posts and links to other sites, i have started thinking really seriously about things.

SM62

Heather,

Thank you so much for your reply.

Can I just ask you one thing? You said " Man was created. He rebelled. He died. His children died. Jesus came to undo the mess Adam got us into. I believe Jesus is much more loving and understanding than most translators paint him. Why he even asked that his murderers be forgiven. He lead a humble life spent with the "trash" of Jewish society"

Can I ask you why you believe this? I am not saying it is wrong or that I don't believe it, I just want to know why you believe it.

Terri

11

Jesus - was he just an exceptional teacher?

by SM62 in

i have been doing a lot of soul-searching lately.. i have never considered questioning the bible before.

as a child, i was taught that to question the bible was blasphemous.

but lately, since coming to this forum and reading all the various posts and links to other sites, i have started thinking really seriously about things.

SM62

I have been doing a lot of soul-searching lately.

I have never considered questioning the Bible before. As a child, I was taught that to question the Bible was blasphemous. But lately, since coming to this forum and reading all the various posts and links to other sites, I have started thinking really seriously about things. I started to think that maybe Jesus was just a really good teacher - nothing more, nothing less. He was good with words, good with people, and knew how to stir up a crowd. He had charisma. There have been many people like that - Ghandi, JFK, Princess Diana - even Adolf Hitler could mesmerise a crowd. But didn't Jesus have something extra?

What I am trying to get at is this. Even though many of you don't believe in the Bible, how do we explain the miracles Jesus performed? Did the Gospel writers lie and make out Jesus was something that he wasn't? I doubt it. They wrote their accounts at different times and in different places (I think - correct me if I'm wrong). Also, didn't other historians confirm the miracles Jesus performed (again - correct me if I'm wrong - I am really new to all of this - I have never had the courage to question things as fully as I do now) If Jesus was just a fantastic teacher with real people skills, how do we account for the fact that he healed the sick and resurrected the dead? What is it about him that makes him stand out? Did he really do what the Bible says he did?

I have never had any feeling of reverance or awe for God or Jesus. They always make me feel numb, which always made me think that I was an evil person. But now, I have found out that God and Jesus may be the result of an over-imaginative mind. Where do I go now? How does one find out the truth about all of this?

Very confused........Terri

26

Creative Ways in Which You Have Gotten A Job

by berylblue in

.

a little too tipsy right now to elucidate...but i think i've already bored you all to tears on my job situation...so..... i'm doing all the "normal" things.. in what ways have you gotten jobs other than the usual?.

thanks,.

SM62

R,

I have read a book where people have sent cardboard cut-outs of themselves, product samples, CVs on balloons etc etc. These are all very well and extremely gimmicky, but to be honest, the only way to get a job is to apply for every vacancy you think you can fill. Don't apply for one job and wait to see if you have an interview. Apply for as many as you can and go to as many interviews as possible. I read in a job-hunting manual that you need to apply for up to 40 jobs before you get the right one (mind you - this is applied to the UK in 2003 - it may be different in your area) Maybe you need to look at different types of work - have you considered changing your line of work? I know how demoralising it is when you are going to interview after interview, but the important thing is not to give up.

Are you looking for a new job or just considering a change? What line of work are you in?

Terri

28

This is the GOOD elder thread

by jwbot in

well, after thinking about all the bad experiences, i just wanted to know, did you know any good elders, and what were they like?

probably unconventional, right?

one of the only elders i knew that i truly thought was a wonderful person is my father.

SM62

jwbot,

It's so nice to have a thread like this - it makes things more balanced.

I can think of many elders that were very nice people. It is silly to demonise them all just because the WTS has so many things in a twist. One elder in particular sticks in my mind - he is such a nice guy - you really can't fault him.

Terri

15

HELP ME! TEENAGER INVASION

by Yerusalyim in

jw
friends

my 15 year old son is having a party this evening...i have 24 teens here...hormones and all...save me!...actually, they're pretty good kids...just skating and listening to music.

the real problem are the parents.

a few weeks ago there was a party at a house with no chaperones...and the house got trashed...bad.

SM62

Yerusalyim,

I love the company of teenagers. They have got to be the wittiest creatures on this earth. Maybe when I was a teenager I was quick and witty too - I don't remember. But it's great that you are ok with this invasion - most teenagers are sensible and not at all like they are depicted in the WT or Awake. If you believed those mags, you would think that all non-JW teenagers were doing drugs, abusing alcohol, sleeping around etc etc. Most teenagers I know don't do these things. They are really sharp and quick to pick up on anything - enjoy their company if you get the chance.

Terri