i was raised a jehovah's witness and like most are aware, they presently belive that by and large everyone who dies ceases to exist.
i accepted this fate for most of my life and i guess i still do for the most part, but now that i do not go to the meetings what am i to accept death to be, as i will die as well as my friends and family at some point.
i think that idea of being in gods memory made sense to me as i have excepted it for forty five of my fifty years of being alive.
My take on the human afterlife is that it really isnt an afterlife... just another aspect of it. I couldnt ever accept the JW teaching of "nonexistence after death"...how do you explain talking without opening of your own mouth if nothing is inside of your body, occupying it? Where do those thoughts exist at? How come I can make them just by... well making them out of nothing? I'm so confused by myself i need to lie down... plus its 5:45 am (insomniac )
-- Nny
obviously, mine is a picture of me.....it was taken at a hockey game at staples center: go kings!
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odrade has a very pretty picture and i was wondering if that was her or a character from a movie?
Mine is the symbol from the accalaimed comic hero Spawn. Favorite all time comic character and all out role model...his story is one of breaking bounds that seem impossible, repentance, and how much the lines between good and evil can be blurred at times.....we got so much in common....
-- Nny
damn, why does morpheus' line from the original "matrix" keep reverbating in my head?.
"i'm sure you're feeling a bit like alice... tumbling down the rabbit hole?".
i feel as if my life is coming towards some sort of apocalypse.... its been a long culmination of events, as apocalypses are...9 years in the works.... but somehow i feel good about coming to this point in my life.
Damn, why does Morpheus' line from the original "Matrix" keep reverbating in my head?
"I'm sure you're feeling a bit like Alice... tumbling down the rabbit hole?"
I feel as if my life is coming towards some sort of apocalypse.... Its been a long culmination of events, as apocalypses are...9 years in the works.... but somehow I feel good about coming to this point in my life. Kinda like when Neo first got reinserted into the Matrix aboard the Nebuchadnezzar.... a SHOCCCCK!!! then its like.... whoa.... calm and peaceful. Right now I think the shock period is going to last a little longer than I had hoped, but alas, all great tribulations forge stronger survivors.... Strange how much religion can turn your entire world upside down. Ever since my first time I was introduced to the "evil" that is "apostate literature" (and criticized and chastized and lectured,) it has felt as if I've been spiraling upward. I find that strange even myself, as one would think that losing such an important foothold in life as religion would generally lead to a downward spiral.... I guess I'm lucky or something. I cant even count how many times I've heard over the years of being a "Witness" that there's "nothing out in the world".... "it's a dead end" etc. etc. But these things come to my mind when I think of the people that said them.... where are they today? Are they really any better off than they were when they were disfellowshipped? In all the cases that I can recount... the answer is no. I mean... to the exclusion of them feeling socially accepted and having their hopes and dreams built up by the vast smoke machine that is the WT society, they really haven't gone anywhere as people. Maybe they stopped smoking crack or having wild orgies... thats progression for sure. But progression is a constant thing... and its something that a lot of the people I've seen havent done. I dont know... maybe I'm being a little harsh in my judgements. Instinct is kicking me now and saying that I am... and that I am no better, and I dont claim to be any better. I guess that analysis comes from the person in me that has been freed from the vast illusory empire that we call Jehovah's Witnesses. That person is constantly changing, being that for so long, it was held back. Bound into a static way of thinking, a static way of life... go to school, go to meetings 3 times a week, field service for 2 hours on the saturdays (repeat). Be sure to read plenty of literature to keep that way of thinking and faith in "Jehovah" up! (repeat) Nah... it wasnt working.
I heard my girlfriend say the saddest statement I'd ever heard... she told me that when she was questioning and doubting... in order to refind her faith, she had to forget everything she'd ever doubted. Go back to thinking like a child again as far as the WTS is concerned. My love for her, will never die, never dim, never diminish... however... she cast a shadow over my heart that day. Making me feel more alone than I ever had. I sit here, feeling tears welling up in my eyes... wondering... should I really leave or not? Even with all that I know, all that I've researched and found out about the WTS...should I go? I dont want to lose her, and I know that if we got married and had kids, our house would be divided. The day I was sitting with her, holding her tightly as she cried upon hearing my statement of exodus from the WT Org, I thought in my heart, how could I be so selfish and evil? Maybe this is the time in my life where I really need to compromise. The time where I really need to put my own feelings aside and consider that, if I truly want a future with this woman, I'll have to reenslave myself to the system of lies and deceit. . . . I dont know if I can do that. I really dont. I've never known anyone in my life like her, and to lose her would turn me into a cold heartless being... someone I know I would hate to be. I could never love again... I know this in my heart. But right now its like go to the Matrix and try to beleive again.... or step out... lose the one you've only ever truly loved.... and try to make your life work from there. Already I can see that end... already I can see the downward spiral of anger, hatred and frustration that my life would turn into. I can hear whoever reading this now saying "That doesnt have to happen" but I assure you that it will. Its like I continue to have this vision of my own personal apocalypse.... each and every day the Event Horizon draws closer and closer... I can feel the events culminating even now....
Yet, as the Keymaker said... "Another way, there's always another way." I've told her repeatedly about how I find truth in every religion that exists, and I do... I believe they all stem from the one Creator... and get corrupted the farther away in thought, deed, and belief they go from Him.... encrusting themselves in endless mazes of dogma. I've also told her that despite what I know... I never ever want her to say that I undermined her faith.... for I know how earth shattering it can be. However, in light of the dark, ugly truths I've learned... I think I may have to renig on that statement... but I'm so afraid of the consequences that I can't see myself taking action.... in short.... help and advice are in dire need here. Any experiences that you can share with me would be very helpful... please keep in mind that I've known this woman for no short period of time, we have been together in secret for over a year now, after fraternizing casually for about 6-8 months prior to. So breaking the bond we've already established would deal a blow of significant harm to my soul... thank you for reading this far... you must really care.... so my love extends to you for doing so.
--Nny
this week i ran into 2 people (on the same day) that i know, don't know each other, and they both talked about conspiracies and the role of the "illumanati" and the belief in "gray aliens".
the one that knew i was a witness congratulated me for my decision to stop attending meetings and believing in the witnesses.
russell was a member of the "illumanati" and how the "aliens" were telepathically (sp.
The Bavarian Illuminati are actually a faction of the Freemasons. They're quite responsible for giving the original Freemasons such bad press, mainly because the Illuminati took to the negative side of the spiritual spectrum, and also because they own damn near everything in existence, from banks to politicians. The Illuminated ones are supposedly great in spritual power, and can communicate with extraterrestrial/extradimensional beings. One of their most widely known factions, the Skull and Bones society, is known to posses such great political families as the Bushs... here's a quote:
"Some of the world's most famous and powerful men alive today are "bonesmen," including George Bush, Nicholas Brady, and William F. Buckley. Other bonesmen include Henry Luce (Time-Life), Harold Stanley (founder of Morgan Stanley), Henry P. Davison (senior partner Morgan Guaranty Trust), Artemus Gates (President of New York Trust Company, Union Pacific, TIME, Boeing Company), Senator John Chaffe, Russell W. Davenport (editor Fortune Magazine), and many others. All have taken a solemn vow of secrecy."
http://www.jeremiahproject.com/prophecy/nworder03.html
I'm sure G.W. Bush has made it clear that the New World Order is imminently upon us .... so that means free Barcodes and Nanochip brain augmentations for everyone. Oh yea make sure you go down to your local clinic and get the flu vaccine for your free advance copies of the Nanochips to get hooked up to the Super Hyper Human Nanochip GPS Satellite Big Brother Illuminati Watcher Machine.... (wish i was joking).
Oh no... I've already said too much... *watches for black vans*
i just thought i would share this little gem that showed up in my e mail box.
it seems to be making the rounds of dubdom at the moment.. rats and rap music.
it took them 10 minutes to go through the maze, just as .
WTF, I thought they KNEW THIS already, ANTHRAX and Dr. Dre rotted my brain YEARS ago, now I walk around screaming "get away with Murdah" moshing everyone and "running up on fools" with my "tech 9".
i cant even begin to describe how angry i am at this "religion" for allowing this to continue to happen.
i swear if i see j.r. brown or phil brumley im ******** on sight!!!.
damn im glad i didnt go to the meeting today...... .
Lady Lee,
You're right... thankfully I have calmed down... thanks to Beans link, I have enough more than enough info debunking 1914, just one of many issues, but inherently the most pressing as it knocks out the foundation of the JW's doctrine about being God's *mediator* (wait i thought that was Jesus?) LOL.
-- Nny
i cant even begin to describe how angry i am at this "religion" for allowing this to continue to happen.
i swear if i see j.r. brown or phil brumley im ******** on sight!!!.
damn im glad i didnt go to the meeting today...... .
Thank you.. I really do appreciate it... and I will keep you posted...
-- Nny
i cant even begin to describe how angry i am at this "religion" for allowing this to continue to happen.
i swear if i see j.r. brown or phil brumley im ******** on sight!!!.
damn im glad i didnt go to the meeting today...... .
Excuse the rampant display of emotion: I just didnt have anyone to say this to as my mother and sister are at the meeting.
Right this second I'm compiling a list of complaints, errors in doctrine, etc. etc. about the WTS. Once my mom comes home from the meeting she'll be mad that i didnt make it to "Jehovah's house of worship" with her... so I need to give her a reason why. I just cant stand people who abuse children, its a true rape of innocence and purity... and hearing all these accusations attached to a religion that i looked up to for so long has me really p.o.'d. I'm glad I'm coming to my senses as well Mouthy... I've said that I'd present some evidence to my mother for too long without doing anything, today is my personal apocalypse in that sense. Thanks for the hug. Only problem to worry about is my girlfriend who is a JW as well... I dont know what I'm going to do about that yet... but one thing at a time.
--Nny
i cant even begin to describe how angry i am at this "religion" for allowing this to continue to happen.
i swear if i see j.r. brown or phil brumley im ******** on sight!!!.
damn im glad i didnt go to the meeting today...... .
I cant even BEGIN TO DESCRIBE how ANGRY I AM AT THIS "RELIGION" FOR ALLOWING THIS TO CONTINUE TO HAPPEN. I SWEAR IF I SEE J.R. BROWN OR PHIL BRUMLEY IM ******** ON SIGHT!!!
DAMN IM GLAD I DIDNT GO TO THE MEETING TODAY.....
THIS SH*T MAKES ME WANT TO PUKE!!
the dictionary states:esoteric,intended for or understood by only a chosen few,as an inner group of disciples or initiates( said of ideas,literature,etc.
)beyond the understanding or knowledge of most people;abstruse,hard to understand.. a large percentage of the jehovah's witnesses believe that a certain,"aura of esoteric wisdom"is existent during the governing body sessions.they believe that an unusually high level,manifesting more than ordinary scriptual knowledge and spiritual wisdom give its pronouncements an importance above and beyond that of normally accorded words of imperfect men.. the fact that the average witness has only a misty idea of the way that the leadership arrives at its conclusions adds to the "aura of esoteric wisdom".. for those of us who have come to realize that esoteric wisdom does not exist with the governing body of the witnesses,my question to you is,does it exist at all,if so,who has it?.
blueblades,and the search continues.
Blades:
Anyone can possess "esoteric" wisdom about anything. Do a google search on Akashic Records.
--Nny
