cyber-sista

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Posts by cyber-sista

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  20

  JW's and Funerals..... your thoughts please, including current JW's

  by bull01lay in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  a morbid topic i know, but one that has played on my mind since i was df'd.. my mum is still a very devout witness.

  if anything happened to her, what would the witness position be on my attending the funeral ?.

  i know she would (quite rightly)expect a service at the kingdom hall.

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  cyber-sista

  Bull01lay,

  I am sorry that this is such a worry for you. If you feel if you should go then go and show them your emotions if need be then you should go. I cannot imagine anyone being kicked out at a funeral service. Maybe it will make some of them think. The Org tries to make others feel as if those who have left no longer care or have love, but of course we know that this is not the case. But do keep in mind that besides the service at the KH you can have one of your own too with people who will be supportive of you--this is important too. Have both if you must. Do what you can to heal and get perspctive on the situation beforehand.

  Love,

  cybs
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  20

  JW's and Funerals..... your thoughts please, including current JW's

  by bull01lay in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  a morbid topic i know, but one that has played on my mind since i was df'd.. my mum is still a very devout witness.

  if anything happened to her, what would the witness position be on my attending the funeral ?.

  i know she would (quite rightly)expect a service at the kingdom hall.

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  cyber-sista

  I have been to witness funerals and to "worldly" funerals. I have noticed that at many times that many in the congo do not attend funerals at the KH. I have been to funerals of older ones who have been JWs for years with very few people in attendance and only a few from their own hall. Many have estranged themselves from their relatives I suppose. Funerals at the KH seem like just another meeting and after you have already attended 3 of them for the week that's enough for even the most zealous JW.

  Attending a non-JW funeral is not encouraged at all by the Org.--this always disturbed me. I can't imagine not being by my husbands side at the funeral of his non-JW parents. How heartless and cruel that would've been. Somehow the Org translates going to a "worldly" funeral as being a bad witness or a stumbling to others. What a bunch of nonsense.

  You are allowed to attend any meeting at the KH, but if you are DFd I would be surprised if anyone speaks to you, which is probably a blessing. You would not invited to attend any get togethers after the meeting. I was told by the elders and others that you could lose your position in the congo as an elder, pioneer etc if you attended any function where a Dfd person was present. The elders in my congo took it a step further and told me that anyone in a position who attended my daughter's wedding could lose their "position." (My daughter was not baptized but living a moral life was marrying a non-JW) They said it could be a "stumbling to those in the community because I was a JW and she while herself was not baptized was marrying a non-JW (her Father was not a JW either)--How twisted is that? Yes, it was a stumbling to the community, but they won't be stumbling into the KH anytime soon as most were shocked by the behaviour of the JWs towards my family.

  If you are ever in this situation just do what you feel is the best thing is for you. If you are not comfortable going to the KH you can arrange to have your own memorial or closing ritual for your Mom. Give a eulogy, read a special poem, play some music, hike up a mountain and throw some flowers in the wind--whatever. Invite some people to join you who will be loving and supporting of your process. You don't have to follow the KH rules anymore.
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  30

  how much Nepotism in the congregations?

  by badboy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  know any examples?

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  cyber-sista

  Strange stories, but all so true from my experience too. Both the congos I attended over the years had lots of family relations going on. In the former one I attended about half the congo was related. Fine Christian examples of happy families? These people treated each other horribly. There was some major family feuding going on with many relatives not speaking with each other or giving each other the evil eye at meetings. It was very stressful to be at the KH because of all of this. It was beginning to make me gag whenever any one of them would give a meeting comment about JWs having "love among themselves." In the end when one of the elders was chewing me out for having a "normal" relationship with my "worldly" functional family and he said to me "I love my worldly family too, but I consider my real family to be those in Jehovah's Organization. Was he really expecting me to trade my precious family in for this bunch of morons at the KH?

  Yes, there was an elder's son appointed as an elder too. He was young (maybe late 20s) and was a big goof who teased everyone--cruely teasing teenage girls about their acne, etc. I was floored when he was appointed an elder. I couldn't imagine receiving council from this punky kid.
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  33

  In one word...

  by mojobeans in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  was wondering.

  in one word, how would you all describe your experience/s in leaving the club?

  mine would have to be cathartic

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  cyber-sista

  Terrified
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  19

  Where are they now?

  by Puternut in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  it's hard to believe, it's been over a year since i was df'd.

  i was in the borg for 25 years and made a lot of friends.

  we were so close with several families, that we were inseperable.

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  cyber-sista

  I think they are hiding their heads in the sand. If they only knew the truth about the truth they would be ashamed of themselves as to how they are treating you. This thought gives me a bit of comfort, but yeh, it still hurts...20 plus years and I'm dropped like a hot potato and I am not even Dfd or DAd. But as you know JWs are constantly fed with fear and that fear prevents them from being true to themselves and others. Hang in there Puternut.

  Love,

  Cybs
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  70

  Hi, I'm new to the site, and kind of don't understand...

  by my-journey in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i was just curious as to the aim of this website?

  i thought it was a discussion board for those interested in/ for jehovah's witnesses, but it seems like you're all former jehovah's witnesses?

  so is this site just to bash jehovah's witnesses?

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  cyber-sista

  Hello my-journey.

  I was a JW for some 20 plus years, but not Dfd or dAd, but only just fading away. I saw and experienced many shocking things in the Org that made me question my whole belief system. My conscience no longer allows me to belong to a relgion that believes that being loved is based on your performance in the Org--I now believe in unconditional love. Sadly, when you stop hating you can no longer be a JW. Much of the message that they preach is hateful towards others. Example: Non-witness friends and relatives are wicked and deserving of death, etc, etc. Can you deny that this is the word that is being preached by Jehovah's Witnesses? (Just look through the literature and listen up at the meetings) I could no longer accept this thinking and it was making me ill and depressed. I am free now to love my family and others who I feel close to.

  I don't hate anyone, but I feel for those who are not allowed to love AND I don't support or respect the Organization that is preventing them from doing so.

  Love (unconditionally)

  cybs
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  32

  Comments You Will Not Hear at the 5-23-04 WT Study (4-15-04)

  by blondie in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  comments you will not hear at the 5-23-04 (week of 5-17 to 5-23-2004) wt study (4-15-04)

  paragraphs 1-2. being made in god?s image, humans have the capacity to reflect godly attributes.. there was a time that the wts used to say "man" was created in god?s image.

  " man was created first and for some time was alone, being in god?s image by himself.

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  cyber-sista

  It takes real strength to be truly kind and to avoid showing mistaken kindness?it cannot be a weak, compromising attitude toward wrong conduct. Mistaken kindness, on the other hand, is a weakness that cause one to condone wrongdoing.

  And here we go again...Only the WT double think double speak can translate the meaning of kindness and twist it into being cruel. Where does forgiveness come into this picture? Didn't Jesus himself express the message that to err is human and to forgive is divine? I am not sure what I believe anymore--Christian or otherwise, but I do know the WT Org continues to spew its hypocritical message to their members and it is shocking to see it for what it truly is.

  Thanks Blondie--great job as usual. At least your comments get my blood moving. WT studies at the KH, such as this one, would've put me into a coma for sure.

  aloha, cybs
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  10

  Truman show as metaphor for JWism?

  by seattleniceguy in

  1. social
  2. entertainment

  i saw the truman show when it first came out in 1998, and was impressed by the movie, and also a bit unnerved.

  however, i just read the screenplay, and i have to tell you, it is incredible.

  for me, this is one of the most incredible stories i have seen or read.

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  cyber-sista

  Now that you mention it--yes. I think i will go and watch it again now that I have exited and see what I get out of it. Interesting...
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  19

  Let's face it. The main reason to be a JW is the feeling of belonging.

  by new light in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  don't you agree?

  the doctrine part has its appeal for some people, but most join and stay because it feels good to belong to something larger than yourself.. realizing this may make it easier for some to stay away.

  that longing you may feel at first to join them or go back to them is not holy spirit, it's just the natural human inclination to belong to a group.

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  cyber-sista

  Part of it is the feeling of security you are made to feel when you join the group--for me it was anyway. The other part was the idealistic thinking program--paradise earth--the panacea for all mankind--this appeals to people with low self esteem or those who are suffering in life in one way or another--many who can't make it by themselves out in the real world (this used to be me). But after the daze wears off and you begin to see through it all it gets pretty ugly.

  cybs
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  21

  Communication from the subconscious

  by seattleniceguy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  it's been a while since i've posted here.

  hope you all remember me!

  in the final months before i left the organization, in the days before i consciously could accept that it was not the truth - indeed, before i could even entertain such a notion on the conscious level - my subconscious knew the truth, and it took to sending me ever stronger messages.

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  cyber-sista

  I have to come back to this one later as I have to get off to do some work. I have been suffering from many uncomfortable symtoms since my upsetting experiences in exiting the JWs. Strangely, I too have had a lot of pain in my throat and trouble swallowing, but it can't seem to be traced to anything in a medical exam. My nerves feel really shot too and painful like I am receiving constant electric shocks with continual pins and needles sensation...this all came about when I was awakening from my WT induced trance and beginning to come to grips with all or the denial I had being stuffing for years of being in the Org. I am very tired from it all and upset and angry. too I know that the physical is a result of the mental stress. Just seeing an elder in my congo makes my throat tighten and the nerve pain begins to shoot through me. I am trying to learn how to deal with it--in therapy--reading a lot of self help books too. It's a bit rough now, but I am planning to get to the other side of it.

  Love and hugs to any who are suffering out there.

  cybs