Posts by findingme

39

Do You Realize How Much Being a Witness Has Hindered You?

by minimus in

jw
friends

the truth is------- we have lost out on soooooo much, simply because we were witnesses.

it might b like almost starting all over again, for some of us.

what hits you as to what you could've had or have outrightly lost??

findingme

I regret not learning a musical instrument and participating in the school band. I regret not going to college after high school. I regret not allowing this shy, scared person out of my shell until years after I was disfellowshipped. I regret not giving people in the world a chance to prove to me that they, too, can be good caring people. I regret not getting to know my "wordly" dad and relatives better.

On the positive side: I appreciate education much more now than I ever did. Also, I believe I am a kind, considerate, empathetic person because of spending my childhood/early adult life as a JW (not sure if this is a good or bad reflection on JWs or not). Finally, I would not be with my wonderful hubby now if it were not for my previous marriage/divorce/disfellowshipping. My life as a JW was a path that led me to where I am now. Interesting: moved to new town as newlywed to Ministerial Servant, tried to make it work, couldn't, divorced, disfellowshipped, married "wordly" guy in same town......hmmmm.

41

What music are you listening to right now, and where are you?

by Satans little helper in

jw
friends

staind - outside, the original version, i am currently stuck in a hotel room in northern paris

findingme

I listen to Clannad while at work; it puts me into my own little world. I get much accomplished.

51

Let's see what FMZ really means.

by kls in

jw
friends

fmz = found my zipper or fmz= fine male zombie

and what does fmz mean to you ,lets see what you come up with.

findingme

Feel My Zipper

Frustrated, Masterbating Zealot

Feminine Male Zebra

Found Monkey Zoo

18

On CNBC,,,,PRINCE admits he is a JW....Did U believe he was?

by LyinEyes in

jw
friends

i am watching prince talking to the reporter on cnbc, and she asked him if he is now one of jehovah's witnesses and he said......."yes".

i have read things in magazines and newspaper articles but i really could not believe that he was an active witness.

well, i guess i had to hear it with my own ears.

findingme

I remember hearing about Michael Jackson's JW upbringing. How he would go door-to-door and introduce himself as "Joe". I heard it on the radio. Casey Casem (sp?). Seriously...

Also, George Benson is rumored to have been converted to a JW at one time.

All of the above was news from the 1980s.

57

THINGS YOU NEVER HEAR IN A Kingdom Hall...

by WildTurkey in

things you never hear in a kingdom hall...

hey!

it's my turn to sit in the front roll.. .

findingme

Announcement during the service meeting:

"Brothers and sisters, don't forget to vote on March 17"

"This Halloween, we would like to encourage everyone to dress in costumes for the door-to-door activity. Perhaps we could exchange our tracts for candy"

"Sister PartyAnimal is looking for a few volunteers to help her with next Saturday's beer bash, being held at the American Legion"

"We will be closing our meeting early tonight, to enable everyone to watch the President's speech at 8 p.m. on CNN"

Association before and after the meetings:

"Joe and I had such great sex last night. Rather than our usual 69 position, we tried..."

"Did you see the lastest Vin Diesel movie? It was kick-ass!"

"Have the condom machines in the men's room been restocked?"

"Do you think this micro mini looks okay on me? How 'bout this halter top?"

Study articles:

"How do I succeed in College?"

"American Flag Etiquette"

17

Did your family ever makeup holidays?

by MicStroz in

jw
friends

this may sound funny, but my family would celebrate every year a " gift day".

it would be in december but never the week of christmas.

we would get gifts for each other and have a family meal.

findingme

My family gathered around for gift exchanges in June, my parents' wedding anniversary. The kids received more gifts than my parents did.

7

How to respond?

by Purza in

jw
friends

i am still a newbie and i have been on vacation for the past week so i haven't had a chance to catch up.

but i have a little problem and i was wondering how others have handled a similar situation.

if a similar topic has come up recently, i apologize for the duplication.. my mother and i have always had a love/hate relationship.

findingme

You need to do what is best for YOU, not what is expected by anyone else--even your mother. If you go through life pretending to be a JW then you really would by guilty of hypocrisy. Don't lie to yourself. Don't feel guilty about feeling the way you truly feel. You feel how you do, and that's that. Even if your feelings are misunderstood and confusing..(to you and to others) you have good reason, you just haven't figured it out yet.

I was fading for a couple of years before I left, and when I did, it was as if a big LIE was finally out of my life. I WAS LYING to everyone and to myself. I decided it was better to be truthful and leave....then to be miserable by pretending to be who I wasn't. Please don't get me wrong: I am not one to talk people out of this religion. I still have respect for people who live according to very strict principles. I do, however, feel that people have a mind of their own and should not feel pressure to believe or feel what is not there anymore...

A year or so after I left, I ran into my exhubby. He asked me when I was coming back to the KH. I wasn't rude and I wasn't going to lie. I told him very politely "I don't fit in there anymore". He looked very disappointed and as he turned around to walk away. Oh well. So I didn't make him happy....

Disappointing a parent may be a little tougher, but you are still your own person. No matter what, people in the organization are going to find fault with people who are fading or leaving. There is no way around that. It's going to take courage and guts to be your own person and defend your own actions.

The bottom line: don't go to the KH or act a certain way because other people are watching you or expecting you to be this way. If it's not inside you, what can you do?.....decide for yourself what to do.

You are not a bad person. The very fact that you recognize something bothering you shows you still have a conscience.

17

Did your elders ever anounce the names of inactive publishers?

by carefully faded in

new castles recently posted a topic asking if there were any specific comments people made that caused us to question or leave the orgnaization.

this caused me to remember one particiular incident and was wondering if anyone else experienced anything similar.

our service overseer came to our bookstudy and did his routine talk on, "you're not doing enough", "what you are doing isn't quality", "do more, more, more" in the field service.

findingme

I don't remember the elders making an anouncement of inactive ones during a meeting. However, i remember working in field service with an elder who would mention the "irregulars" by name to the car group. I thought this was uncalled for.

I STILL have a major problem with this "10 hour a month" quota. Who sets the standard? humans. Certainly not God. I can remember my Ministerial Servant ex telling me to "fudge" my field service time so that his wife would appear to be living up to the standard. I lived like such a hypocrite back then....

69

How many were raised as a JW during their teenage years?

by codeblue in

.

and how many of you feel because of that, you never really got to be a "teenager"?

codeblue

findingme

Dan-o, taking the MB test resulted in ISTJ / ISTF for me. It appears you are an introvert, too. You can relate, then. I like people; I need people, but introverts just need "down" time away sometimes......I learned how to deal with this without offending other people ( I guess I'm still learning) The test also helped me decide which career move might be best for me.

What else did you learn from the MB test?

Thanks for the warm welcome, everyone. It's been difficult, but it's good to know there are other people who have "been there" .

69

How many were raised as a JW during their teenage years?

by codeblue in

.

and how many of you feel because of that, you never really got to be a "teenager"?

codeblue

findingme

It's good to know I am not alone. Growing up as a Witness has built character for me, but it has also stunted my growth to some extent. Socializing has been so hard for me even now; I am still working on building enough self-esteem to feel worthy of friendship to anyone at work or my new "worldly" family. The one factor that I'm just now coming to terms with was concerning my oh-so-unChristian "introversion". A Watchtower study once explained the "extroversion" of Christ, and it pointed out that a true Christian who be like extroverted like Christt. I felt like such a bad person. I remember becoming so drained and overwhelmed after being around people all day in high school, then coming to the meeting and just feeling exhausted around people. I thought there was something wrong with me. I hated field service, because it meant being a salesperson, which was not my cup-of tea at all. In addition, I really wanted to go to college to be an architect, but that was just so sinful, because I should desire to be a pioneer. That desire just never surfaced...

When I got married to a Ministerial Servant, he would belittle me for being so introveted, too. He was actually ashamed of me. He would make accuses for me to his family, who seemed to look at me like I was strange. Eventually, I was thought of by his family as a psycho. I was put on Prozac after I tried to commit suicide and because I cried every damn day.

You can guess what eventually happened......we divorced...My boss noticed my pain. We talked. He, an introvert like me, understood. My boss and I were married within a year. I am learning so much from him. He still helps me understand I am "normal". He has also encouraged to me to go to college...which I am finally doing. Last year, I graduated with my associates with the highest honors. My name and picture were on the front page of the local newspaper because of it. I just HOPE my ex-hubby and the witnesses who thought I was psycho saw that newspaper....I would like to rub it in their faces.

I'm still struggling with my stunted childhood, brought about by comments made concerning my introversion. Just recently, I learned from a psychology textbook that people could take the Myers-Brigg Type Indicator, a personality test. I learned that IT IS OKAY AND NORMAL TO BE AN INTROVERT....

still..

Findingme