Radar
I have not heard of anyone being DF for gluttony...but I have heard of some being counselled for it...not quite the answer to your question.
Good point by the way.
Beck
Beck_Melbourne
JoinedPosts by Beck_Melbourne
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12
Overeating
by radar init is intersting that the bible does not speak specificly about things like smoking, blood tranfusions, etc, which the watchtower will expell its own members over.. yet the bible does speak specificly about over eatingit even goes on to say that such people will not inherit the kingdom.
yet from my experience in the organisation many witnesses would over-eat(few pleasures left when you got your head in a book all the time) and many were clearly overweight and suffering for it!.
this led to all sorts of health problems for them from back trouble to heart disease, yet i never heard of any being dissfellowshiped on the grounds of gluttony/overeating!!.
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To the older Poster's
by Patriot inand i mean older in the literal sense not time in h20 or jwd and with some serious time put in with the wt.. how do you feel?
how do you or did you face the facts of the wt and dismiss everything and everyone that you have believed in and has been your friend for so many years?.
how do you make up for lost time?
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Beck_Melbourne
Hi Patriot
I don't know if I qualify to answer your question...I was raised in the borg....and I spent 14 years as a baptised member. I married a JW and we raised our children in the truth up until 1998 when I left to start a new life on the outside.
Your question is interesting...and when I first left the truth...I was still very defensive...I still believed it to be the truth...and I continued to have that defensive stand where the truth is concerned. I also held worldly people in the same regard as I did when I was in the truth...even though I was now one of them....I couldn't detach myself from my conditioned way of thinking. I made sure I attended the memorial that first year I was out...and I refrained from any festivities at xmas time....I found the whole xmas thing overwhelming and very 'pagan'...and I still could not deal with it nor could I accept that it was okay for me to do this now....a part of me still felt that it was NOT okay. Also, when I enrolled my kids in their new school...I would write on their medical form that they were not to receive a blood transfusion under any circumstances...the usual thing we write as JW parents.
Over the last 2 years....things have changed for me...my thinking has changed and my life has changed - for the better.
After being shunned by my JW family I slowly began to resent it...as I was learning that some of my JW relatives were doing things making them no worse then me...and I felt so hurt that they were faithful by shunning me...but were unfaithful in other things.
Today...I have come to terms with my past and the hyporcisy I have witnessed. Over the years I have become aware of things that I wished I'd known sooner...as it was very hard those first 2 years out...that transition period of uncertainty....but now I know exactly what I don't want...and that is life in the borg...not ever again.
The freedom Sam Beli talks about is so hard to describe...my partner finds it difficult to understand as he was never a JW. Before I found every aspect of my life was structured around the 'borg'...not Jehovah...and not he bible...but the borg's understanding of the scriptures. I spent my childhood confused...wanting to be normal like all the other kids....so like Sam Beli I spent my childhood trying to gain my mother's approval. I eventually married and that craving for approval transferred from mother to elder husband.... trying to be a good submissive wife...a mountain goat with a loveable hide!! I'm so glad to have left all that fear behind...fear of disapproval...fear of being viewed as spiritually weak...fear of being thought of as not having enough godly devotion.
Today...I have new goals...I am planning for my retirement...and I have a superannuation fund. As for my kids...I am encouraging them to think ahead...and to plan and prepare for their own futures. This opens the door to options like University studies and good paying careers. I am teaching them that there is no shame in owning material things...that a nice home and assets is not being materialistic. I am also teaching them that there is no shame in being good at sports...and that they do not need to sneak to sporting events...as I fully support their sporting/dancing interests. Finally....I have that normal family life I always wanted. My son plays rugby...one daughter does gymnastics...one daughter (16) sits on the end of the phone talking to her friends about boys...and my partner and I potter in the garden on a Saturday morning.
The best thing about life on the outside is that I don't live with the 'guilt'. I can sleep in on the weekends...and I can wear my skirt lengths above the knee if I so choose..and I can watch Harry Potter with a clear conscience.
Wouldnt change it for all the tea in china!!
Beck
ps...sorry it was a bit long...got a bit carried away.
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From pub to pub ....
by ChuckD incould you imagine the society doing something like this?.
http://www.projo.com/report/html/religion/07141961.htm
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Beck_Melbourne
ChuckD
Some of the elders in New Zealand are very 'irish'!
Beck
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EXJW`s Helping EXJW`s
by Beans inwould you help a fellow exjw out in times of need?
if sisterxxx had needs and approached you for help in a certain area would you?
if a current jw wanted your help supporting him or her in front of a judicial/investigative committee would you?.
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Beck_Melbourne
Beans
On here a lot of ExJw help other ExJw with advice..a listening ear..offering a shoulder etc etc.
I don't always think it is one's previous JW training that inspires someone to reach out and offer advice or help. I remember all too well the generosity of the JW members toward one another...the love and support in times of need. I especially remember the love and support at funerals and when a JW member is grieving...such a lot of kindness and love would be expressed.
BUT...this expression of love was conditional...only for those related in the faith. It is rarely expressed or shared with people like neigbhours or 'worldly' nobodies.
Since I have been out of the borg...I have seen just as much love and support expressed amongst worldly people...people who have NEVER had the training to show love to one another...it is just automatic. When my father died I was shown more kindness and love and support by my neighbours (worldly) then I did from my JW family members.
As for offering support and help to other ex jws....i think that goes without saying. If a JW wanted help in front of a judicial committee? I would have to say that I would offer them my opinion on the matter...and my opinion would be to let a judicial DF them...and to pick up ones petticotes and to boldly move on and not look back!
Beck
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It just arrived!
by ozziepost inthanks to amazon.com (where would we be without those guys?
) i've just received my copy of the new book "awakening of a jehovah's witness" by dianne wilson (published by prometheus books, 2002).. the dust jacket carries these words: "her engrossing first-hand account will be of great interest to former witnesses, students of cult phenomena, anyone who has ever experienced an abusive relationship, those who want to learn more about what compels people to enter this group, and all who have everhad contact with jehovah's witnesses.".
it looks like a good read, all 327 pages of it, just going by the table of contents.
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Beck_Melbourne
Priorities Oz!!
Post first...book later! :o))
Beck
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my goal in life.........
by flower ini dont know if this is good or bad and i'm intersted in opinion, comments ect.
my one and only real goal in life is to make sure my kid is happy all the time.
i dont mean literally every second cause thats not possible but i mean from now until hes an adult i want him to have everything that i didnt.
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Beck_Melbourne
Yeah I felt like that Flower....wanting my kids to have a 'normal' life...not like mine with unreasonable rules and conditional love etc.
The whole thing with raising kids is finding a balance (I read that in a WT somewhere lol)...seriously...we all need to find a balance with our kids once we are on the outside. It is so easy to go over board and let them have TOO much freedom...but then again we don't want them having those unreasonable restraints either.
I have struggled to find that balance over the last couple of years...but I'm happy with where I am at the moment where my kids are concerned. They know that I love them no matter what...and they love me back...no matter what. I believe I have become a better mother since leaving the borg...and like you RF...I don't want them to have any hang ups either. Therefore...I have released myself of the hang ups I had...and I've set the precedent. If you're down all the time Flower....you will project this to your son. And thats why I agree with RF...that you also think about "YOU"...and find out what need to do to find some happiness. There is a lot of baggage that comes with this ex JW thing...but find a way to get over it...there's fun to be had...go out there and get you some of it :o)
Beck
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Kind of Depressed, Looking for Someone to Talk to
by Reborn2002 insome of you on this board know me, or at least part of my story, very likely most of you do not.. i am a 21 yr old male from chicago who finally mustered the courage to da myself roughly 6 months ago.
being a 3rd-generation jw, my grandfather was an elder 45 years, so this developed a reputation and precedence for me that i would one day be a co.. or go to bethel.
such high expectations, which i am happy i never fulfilled.
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Beck_Melbourne
Hey there reborn
I think the internet is a great tool...you live so far away yet you can have such good friendships with people. From what I've read on your life so far...it seems as though you have a lot in common with a lot who post on here. I can relate to your loss of friends after you left the truth....we all can I'm sure. We have left a lot of loved ones behind...and they are all mourning us leaving...BUT...its time for you to start living now.
You are in that transition period...where you are new to the outside and all that awaits you...the discoveries...and the awakenings to new things. It will be so unusual for you...and you won't know where you are or what is the right thing to do. Once you are settled with life on the outside..things start to sort themselves out...and thats when you realise what real life is all about.
Keep your chin up...and bear with it...things can only get better for you from now. You have all of us...and a new beginning!!
Beck
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What did you give up that you wish you hadn't?
by VioletAnai inwhen i started studying again, i got the guilts and threw out lots of stuff.
over 200 cd's - goth, punk, industrial, rock, pop, classical, you name it, i threw it.
i got rid of my witchcraft books, astrology books, crystal ball, tarot cards, even my damn nintendo.
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Beck_Melbourne
VioletAnai
How on earth do you get away it?? Getting high and still being a sort of witness?? Do you only smoke in the bathroom and let the ceiling fan take out the fumes?? Or do u only smoke sitting on the ledge of your windowsill? You crack me up...I imagine you get all 'out of it' ...get the munchies...and then u say a quick prayer and then go to sleep...lol. Oh no that's not you...that was me..sorry lol.
Beck
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Let me introduce myself
by blindfool inok, todays the day i introduce myself.
i've been reading.
as a "lurker" for a couple of months.
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Beck_Melbourne
Hey there Blindfool
When I read your intro...you reminded me of so many others like you that I have seen. My ex used to take ones like you under his wing...the newly associating unbelieving husband...who is soon transformed into a bible student...and then a publisher...and then baptised and is seen to be reaching out...etc. Meanwhile the congregation marvels at their progress and he is inundated with hugs and hand shakes and encouraging words. He receives privileges and is given a moment of glory where he is selected to count heads at an assembly and he gets to wear that orange sash lol.
But anyway...back to you. I am glad to see you posting...and I hope that you get the feed back you are looking for. I feel that you will have a difficult road ahead of you...as your wife is still attending meetings as well as the children. It won't be easy for you....but I'm sure there will be a lot of advice and suggestions out there to help you cope. All the best...and welcome! Look forward to hearing more from you.
Beck
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What did you give up that you wish you hadn't?
by VioletAnai inwhen i started studying again, i got the guilts and threw out lots of stuff.
over 200 cd's - goth, punk, industrial, rock, pop, classical, you name it, i threw it.
i got rid of my witchcraft books, astrology books, crystal ball, tarot cards, even my damn nintendo.
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Beck_Melbourne
LOL@Stealth
I never missed anything because I wasn't a worldly long enough...only had a couple of years in the world during my youth....but they don't count because I was so messed up and lonely that I didn't OHHHH hang on...oh yeah...I missed smoking pot when I came back into the truth. I forgot that one!
Beck