Posts by Hondo

45

List of things banned to JWs

by AllAlongTheWatchtower in

my wife is involved with jws, and i want to find out what they believe, things they do or will not do, that i can present to her in the hope that it will convince her that the jw lifestyle is not for her.

i found out a few things already, like blood and yoga which i told her about, but she was unphased.

("i've never needed a transfusion before anyway, and besides, they told me that doctors have blood substitute now".

Hondo

AllAlongtheWatchTower

I was in your shoes a few years ago and eventually lost my wife to the JW's (we were divorced in 2003). Had I known and was able to work with her in her early stages of her "free bible study" I think I would have been able to help her come to her senses. I was in the Navy at the time, at sea quite a bit, and just was not able to sit her down and tell her the facts of life. When I was able to finally wholeheartedly confront her it was too late. In fact, the event that brought everything to a head was when she refused to go with my son, daughter, and myself to visit my family on Christmas. Her response was that she was not allowed to anymore, which just about floored me. Everything went downhill from there. Our everyday conversations were basically arguments. Where in the past were were able to chat about everyday things and events, now the things that she learned as part of her study interlaced our every conversation. Of course she tried to get me to "join the club", on several occasions, claiming that we would be a happier family if I did. We talked of all the other restrictions and banns the JW's have to endure and she pretty much had a justificatiion (the JW canned answer) for each and and every one. She was like a robot. If there was an issue that got her to think, or where she had to form her own opinion, she usually clammed up and said nothing. She literally just looked at me with a blank stare like she did not understand anything I was sayhing. When I wanted to take her to dinner (I did try to love her as much as possible during our last couple years together) on the same night as a meeting, guess what, I lost out, the meeting took priority. On one occasion I was able to talk her out of going to one of her meetings. She said she had to call someone to let them know she was not be attending. 5 seconds after she got off the phone she bolted out the door exclaiming that she was going to die, or words to this affect.

I could go on and on, but won't. I hope everything works out ok for you. There was nothing I could do to "SHOCK" my now ex-wife back to the real world. The WTS/JW's packaged and wrapped her real well. She only lives about 20 mins from me now and I see her from time-to-time. Because I'm not her husband anymore she refused to even acknowledge me if we meet on the street. It appears she will do anything they want her to do, and she looks it. The last time I saw her, about a month ago she looked like she'd aged significantly (she is 57 but looks 65). It was almost hard to recognize her.

Take care and best to you.

35

My Mother died...

by david_10 in

jw
friends

it happened one year ago today.

june 4, 2004. they say these things take time and that recovery gets easier as time goes on, and i suppose that's true.

but then again, some things leave a hole in your heart that will never go away.

Hondo

david_10

I am so very sorry to hear of your loss. My parents are fortunately alive (Dad is 85, Mom, and mother (both of them good Catholics by the way) to 14 kids (all single births), is 84). We have a good strong family, holding a family type reunion every Christmas and keep in contact with each other numerous other times during the year. I know I'm not making your grieving any better by telling you all the good things in my life, but there is so much love and friendship between all of us, I just wanted to pass it on.

I am not a JW, but have been in and out of this forum since I lost my wife to the cult (we were divorced in 2003) a few years. I am responding to you because of your speculation that your mothers involvement with the JW's may have had something to do with her death. I bring this up because I have watched my ex-wife (she only live 20 mins from me and I see her from time-to-time) grow stronger and stronger in the ways of the WTS/JW's to a point where her whole life is virtually totally dedicated to them. She joined at the rather old age of 49 years and is now 57; she is 57 but looks 65+. She has gone from being a very beautiful woman to someone well used, who is totally immersed in the JW's, to the detriment of her own well being; she is not well, but was when we were married and happy. Quite literally, the JW's are running her ragged! She will do anything for them, at the drop of a dime! After she had joined up with them, and we were still together, she was always away cleaning a kingdom hall, or running around doing other numerous things for them, like giving rides to someone who did not have a car, plus attending meeting and doing her service work. I saw very little of her, which was one of the major factors leading to our divorce. I briefly saw her the other day (we did not talk. She refuses to associate with me anymore, even on a friendly basis) and she looked very old; much older than her age. I'm sure she is still at the WTS/JW's beckon call.

Won't ramble. Just wanted to pass on my condolences again, and agree, as sad it it may seem, that I am seeing similar circumstances that, who knows, may be leading my ex-wife down a similar path as you mother. I pray not.

44

Does the WTBTS still control your life?

by Honesty in

do you follow the arrangement dictated by the governing body of jw's regarding df'd and da'd individuals?

do you shun the jw's like you are expected to by wt leaders or do you speak to jw's and greet them with a smile even if they shun you when you do so?

in complying with wtbts rules of acceptable behavior for da'd or df'd persons do you think that you are showing unconditional love to your neighbor?

Hondo

swiftbreeze

Good words. I think there are a lot of "doubters" like Dune browsing this forum, looking for, as you say, that one word, one phrase, one thread that will get push them over the top. In the meantime they will continue their blind defense of the cult, as confusing as it may be, sneaking in and out of these conversations and discussions, hoping no one will see; hoping not to get caught, looking and hoping.

Hang in there Dune, your time will come. There are a lot of good people willing and waiting to assist.

44

Does the WTBTS still control your life?

by Honesty in

do you follow the arrangement dictated by the governing body of jw's regarding df'd and da'd individuals?

do you shun the jw's like you are expected to by wt leaders or do you speak to jw's and greet them with a smile even if they shun you when you do so?

in complying with wtbts rules of acceptable behavior for da'd or df'd persons do you think that you are showing unconditional love to your neighbor?

Hondo

"God doesnt force us to serve him."

Dune, you're correct, God does not force anything on us, but the WTS sure does once it gets its destructive grips on you. Only escaping from the life altering, ever controlling, hold that the Society has on those within this evil cult, can one fully understand the bible and the love our our Lord Jesus Christ, or not believe at all.

27

Were you told you had to tolerate things as a test?

by LongHairGal in

(i made a thread like this but it seemed to have gotten lost).

i got in some heated discussions years ago over what i would and would not tolerate from people with regard to abuse on a personal level.

we were always fed the line that we should forgive our brother, etc.

Hondo

Before my wife joined up with the JW's she was a vibrant, exciting woman. After she joined, and before our divorce, she transformed/changed amost a 100%. She always seemed to be feeling sorry for herself. The way she talked was different; more subdued distant compared to the early days of our marriage. I had the distinct feeling on many occasion that she felt persecuted, or was suffering, because she was married to a "non-believing" mate, and not a "loving" JW (she had already tried several time to get me to start going to meetings with her. I wisely chose not to). I'm not sure how she feels now, but do have a high degree of certaintly that after the divorce (maybe someone out there can elaborate), she was happy to be rid of me and away from a non-JW, while at the same time blamed herself, to a degree, for our splitup.

Thoughts/comments

Thanks

41

Fear of the big "A"

by Chia in

jw
friends

i went to a friend's house last night.

i was talking with him about religious issues.

i told him i no longer feel that the witnesses have the truth.

Hondo

ozziepost

Your statement

"Fear of the Big A (Dubs) = Fear of Hell-fire (Roman Catholic)

What's the difference?"

Big, big, difference. the JW's have taken their belief of the Big A from the bible totally out of context and fear it because the idiots at Bethel say to fear it. JW's fear getting dissassociated for not believing in the Big A more than the Big A itself. Catholics, for the most part, do not fear Hell. It's in the bible, granted, in fact, the word Hell is mentioned in the bible more Heaven. JW's proclaim, "the sky is falling, the sky is falling", and soon. Catholics do not warn or announce that hell awaits those who do not believe, or that it is right around the corner. Free will is free will.

In you statement above, you need to replace Roman Catholic with the Evangelical Fundamentalists. These folks are the Hell Fire and Brimstone Sola Scripturist, and do threaten their congregations with eternal damnation if the bible is not followed explicitly. Catholics use the bible as the "guide of life", not the "explicit rulebook of life."

41

Fear of the big "A"

by Chia in

jw
friends

i went to a friend's house last night.

i was talking with him about religious issues.

i told him i no longer feel that the witnesses have the truth.

Hondo

Chia,

Your friends words,

"Why worry? Why stress? Live life. Be a good person, the best that you can be. Give back to people."

Are great words.

Go to a homeless shelter and hand out meals for a day, or just help someone (a blind person, and elderly person...) across the street, or volunteer to visit a hospice and just talk to a terminally ill patient there for an hour... then compare all this to going door to door, and the bordom associated with this. Who is God more visible in? Someone who is spreading the deceit, thoughts, Ideas and lies of an organization, or someone who is actually doing the work of God; doing good... Some people can be like a Mother Theresa or a Pope John Paul II. Some people can only walk a elderly person across the street, or perhaps visit a homeless shelter. Each is equal and the same in the eyes of God.

In many cases, without me saying a word or trying to sell someone a magazine, I get more questions about faith, God, Jesue, etc. by just doing the things I do (at a homeless shelter and not affiliated with any religious organization). There is so much good in this world, and It is such a good feeling doing something good rather than going around proclaiming that the sky is falling and all is bad in the world today. If you only look for the bad as the JW's do, you surely will find it; it's out there; it's part of life! Similarly, if you look for the good, you will also find it, and believe me, there is so much more good than you can imagine.

You are headed in the right direction. Try sharing some of your goodness. I think you will feel a warmth and inner goodness that is unique and something not found in anything the JW's do. The sky will only fall if you want it to...

Have a good day.

16

Do not eat blood nor pork

by Bryan in

so the bible says not to eat blood, so the witnesses refuse blood transfusions.

the bible also says not to eat pork.

so why do witnesses eat pork?

Hondo

The bible is clearly talking about animal blood, so why are transfusions not allowed. Or, were there cannibals back 2000+ years that actually ate human blood, thus the JW's blood ban. JW's know something everyone else doesn't?

The bible also says not to eat fat. Do JW's order a supersized bag of, full of fat, fries when they visit McDonalds (are they allowed to go to Micky D's and order a big mac combo meal or a happy meal?)

16

Do not eat blood nor pork

by Bryan in

so the bible says not to eat blood, so the witnesses refuse blood transfusions.

the bible also says not to eat pork.

so why do witnesses eat pork?

Hondo

The bible says don't eat fat too.

22

KH Parking Spaces....

by Will Power in

are they assigned?

are they in any way related to status?

if you usually park in the same space every meeting, then one day you arrive to find someone else there...... .

Hondo

Krystal, are you from Hawaii?