Billygoat

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Posts by Billygoat

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  30

  Low Low Low Self Esteem

  by joelbear in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  man, if i don't solve this problem i'm gonna be dead one way or another.. i know i need to build self esteem.

  i am focusing on bringing things into my life that i find real fulfillment in.. i had little fulfillment as a witness.

  really only the pleasure i got from bible studies, of which i really only had about 10 real ones of.

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  Billygoat

  (((((Joel)))))

  I wish I could fix it for you. I've been there. Sometimes it still bites me in the butt, so I know how hard things are sometimes. The damn rollercoaster is truly a monster. If nothing else, just know that others have and are traveling this road with you. We can all survive if we can just remember to lean on each other.

  I seem to remember you're on medication. Have you followed up with your doctor regarding it? That sometimes it just doesn't work? Maybe there's a new or different med that you could give a try? Maybe it's time for a new doctor? I've known in my experience that meds don't work to their fullest potential without me seeing a therapist on a regular basis. Would any of this work for you? Just throwing thoughts out there to consider. This could very well be a physiological issue...not just emotional damage.

  Tons of hugs, love, and kisses in your direction!

  Andi
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  58

  Are you honest when you say your age?

  by JH in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i know people who don't say their real age, like take off 2 or 3 years.... my mom looks younger than her age, so she sometimes took off a few years.

  gee, i'm just the opposite, i rather say my real age, and wait for a compliment saying "hey you look good for your age".

  how about you, do you ever lie on your age?

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  Billygoat

  I'm pretty honest about my age. Usually people peg me for being younger. I did decide though that at my 30th birthday, that I could start going backwards if I wanted. Which is great since now my husband is older than me. LOL! So this last birthday, I was 26.
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  6

  Another Anti-Aging Triumph: Teeth in an Hour

  by metatron in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  the latest forbes magazine ( sept 5, 2005, pg 103) reports on a new technique that has gained fda approval - "teeth in an hour".. it's a product of nobel biocare and uses computerized tomography of the mouth, together with new software to generate a precise.

  stencil for implantation of titanium based teeth.

  the article reports that, yes, it can be completed in less than an hour and dentists.

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  Billygoat

  The cost is pricey ( $2-3K per tooth)

  Egads! You'd need a second mortgage for your mouth! I think I'll stick to brushing and flossing so I don't have to worry about losing them in the first place.
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  25

  Softer Side of Six

  by Sparkplug in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  .

  just thought i would share... aaaaaaawwwwwhhhhhh.

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  Billygoat

  Awwww! We all knew it was there.
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  16

  Is this love? It feels like the flu...

  by Ingenuous in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  for anyone who may have noted my happy news of about a week ago, the bubble burst after roughly 48 hours.

  after the 90% successful "let's agree to act like intelligent adults and respect the other's conscience" talk with my dad, he wrote a letter and renegged on everything.

  i am once again a hard-headed, ungrateful apostate.. i'm as tired of writing about the situation as you probably are reading about it, so i won't go into too many details.

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  Billygoat

  Andi - you took the words right out of my brain! While, when I was little, we played the "Daddies know everything" game, my questions were usually answered with an exasperating "Look it up." I was taught very young to ask questions and research and find proof and reason.

  OMG, this was my house growing up! LOL! As a result, I really do enjoy history and researching cultures and learning about other worlds. I find it fascinating. Thus seeing all the proof against the Watchtower, it just boggles my mind that we believed that stuff. And that 6 million others still do.

  Amazing that they can't appreciate the "monster" they've created by teaching me to think, raising a closet feminist. I'm grateful for what they've unwittingly given me - they've only got themselves to blame.

  I'm so grateful as well! That's why I find it so confounding that they don't SEE that I'm doing exactly what they taught me to do - QUESTION EVERYTHING!

  And my heart breaks reading the things your Dad said to you, Andi. You stood there and listened to the words so many of us fear, words we know are secreted away in their hearts, words we're sure will kill us if they're ever spoken aloud. I'm deeply impressed by your strength and maturity and, if I may be so bold, am proud at what you've done with/because of/despite those words.

  I firmly believe that fathers must especially be careful with the relationship they have with their daughters. Few truly understand how integral they are to their daughters' futures. Most women don't realize it, but they unconsciously base all of their male relationships on the healthiness or unhealthiness of their relationship with their daddys. It's no wonder I dated abusive, angry, controlling men for many years after that. It was "comfortable" for me. I thought it was perfectly normal and acceptable for a man to beat or scream at his girl when he was unhappy. It took years and thousands of dollars of therapy to unlearn that.

  I truly look forward to having a daughter with my husband. He is the kindest, gentlest, sweetest man I know. I am so blessed to be married to him, but someday our daughter will be doubly blessed to call him "Daddy." What a vision to anticipate!
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  61

  Where were you on the a.m. of 9/11/01?

  by rebel8 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i was at work -- a manager in a hospital that is the regional treatment center for one medical specialty...region includes nyc.

  someone came & grabbed me hard by the arm and pulled me into a room, where i saw every single mgr.

  sitting silently watching tv.

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  Billygoat

  I was home sick that day and had just woken up. Mozz and I weren't married yet, so he called me on his way to school that morning. He said, "You need to turn on the tv. A plane just crashed into the WTC." I was stuffed up with medicine head and wearing my purple striped pajamas. My dog threw up on the carpet that morning and my neighbor downstairs was late taking her kid to school.

  I remember strange little details when I'm really caught off guard or scared like that.

  A shock ran through my body, as I realized that thousands were dying, before my very eyes.

  Talesin, that was my exact thought. It hit me when the towers fell. I just remember thinking, "I'm watching thousands of people die a horrible death, this very moment." I worked for Dow Jones at the time, so I knew some of my NYC colleagues were in Tower Two. And some of my colleagues from a previous job were in the same building. I was stunned.

  I was on JWD. Really. :)

  I had just signed on and I saw a post by MadApostate saying Turn on the TV...

  I didn't believe the thread title, I didn't believe the post...then other people started posting about it...

  I spent the next 13 hours in chat.

  Wish I had a transcript of that day's chat.

  I remember chat moving so terribly fast that I couldn't read it fast enough and keep up with the conversation. There was a ridiculous amount of people in chat that day. Over 40 or so, I seem to remember.

  Simon or other board mods, is it possible to get a transcript of chat from that day???
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  16

  This was weird

  by Purza in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so i started my new job today.

  i work for a government agency in a local town.

  my boss received a package via ups and she had no idea who it was from.

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  Billygoat

  Ew. That was weird. Heeby Jeebys.

  Did you tell her you were a JW at one time too? Maybe she's on this board.
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  14

  I'm GLAD he kept on knocking!!

  by bebu in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  this just happened to me about an hour ago:

  i've been taking care of a lot of details (you know, emails, reading jwd...) and i was not even showered yet for the day.

  about 12:25, a knock comes to my front door.

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  Billygoat

  LOL@Bebu

  I think ignoring any door knocking in the morning is a programmed thing for exJWs. LOL!

  Hope your exchange student enjoys his stay with you guys. My MIL had two Japanese boys stay with them when Mozz was about 15 or 16. They left some beautiful Japanese sculptures and artwork as gifts at the end of their stay. My MIL decorates in the 1980's country blue with ducks and seashells and stuff, so the Japanese art didn't make it past the boxes in the attic. Years later, Mozz marries me (half Japanese) and now because of that, I've inherited some beautiful, beautiful pieces of Japanese art.
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  16

  Is this love? It feels like the flu...

  by Ingenuous in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  for anyone who may have noted my happy news of about a week ago, the bubble burst after roughly 48 hours.

  after the 90% successful "let's agree to act like intelligent adults and respect the other's conscience" talk with my dad, he wrote a letter and renegged on everything.

  i am once again a hard-headed, ungrateful apostate.. i'm as tired of writing about the situation as you probably are reading about it, so i won't go into too many details.

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  Billygoat

  He must love you so much but can't face the woman you've become.

  Doof, sometime, I'll post a picture of me. And then I'll post a picture of my mother. I am the spitting image of her. Scary actually. LOL They divorced when I was four. I think he has a hard time with me because I remind him of a very bitter time in his life.
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  7

  JOELBEAR - I am worried (BIGSTYLE)

  by hamsterbait in

  1. jw
  2. friends

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  joelbear is posting in a way that worries me.

  he seems to have desperately low self-esteem, and not to care about living.. i can't do anything except implore him to find help, and assure him that i care as much as is possible.. i am seriously worried.. hb

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  Billygoat

  Joelbear has struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts for a long while now. He has his ups and downs. We all do I think. What bothers me about Joel though is the extremes...just a few weeks ago, he was being silly and funny and loving. Today it's dark and depressing.

  (((((Joel)))))) I don't know what triggered this dark period hon, but we are here for you. There are hundreds of us here that want to help however we can. Don't do anything tragic...we'd miss you terribly!

  Love to you!

  Andi

  PS: Marla (Bubbamar) and her girlfriend Dee just moved to Atlanta this weekend. Isn't that where you are? Perhaps you guys can connect somehow and have coffee? They need a little showing around town. Being a tour guide can sometimes give you a new perspective on life around you.