william's story .
my mother received a knock at the door when i was 4 years old, that knock would alter the course of my entire life.
it was then, she received what she and millions of others call 'the truth.
WTlies,
Welcome to the board! I'm so glad you had such courage to share your story with us. You'll hear many like yours. Full of heartache and other emotions. But please take heart! You will find so much healing on this board you won't believe it! I look forward to hearing you share more on the board!
Billygoat
this is my first time on a message board relating to anything jw.
i haven't posted anything in the past because i still held to the fear that it would be betraying what i was taught, betraying my family, betraying god.
this is precisely my life as it is now.
Kat,
Welcome! You will find so many intelligent and loving people here on this board. Stick around!
I'm relieved to find that someone else was also excited about hearing the truth about "the truth". It was exciting to me too. But more than anything, it filled in the blank spots for me. I've been out for over 10 years, but there was always a little shadow of doubt in my mind that I'd made a mistake by leaving. It's just been within the last couple of months (since I've been on this board) that I've realized there was so much more to the picture than I thought! It's pretty much cemented for me that the JW's are a cult.
Give yourself time. Within time, the JW thinking will dissapate. I lost my faith after being DFed. It took me years to even pray let alone walk into a church. But God was patient with me. He'll be patient with you too. Don't worry about calling God "Jehovah" in a prayer. He knows what you've been through. Personally, I call God "Father" because that is what Jesus called him. I'd like to think that I have a father/daughter relationship with him. A true loving father will be patient with you. He has been with me!
When it comes to finding a new church family: Look for the people that practice what they preach. Do they encourage personal, spiritual growth? Do they admit to their mistakes? Do they help others when they're in need or do they turn their backs? Do they allow for personal opinions even if they don't believe it? You will NOT find a perfect church. Don't look for one. But find what you think is something that God would be proud of, even if there are conflicts and sin. Anyway, those are some of the things I went by when I looked for a church.
You have been given a fresh-start! I'm excited for you. I've been there. You will start looking at life differently. At relationships differently. At children and parents differently. It'll be scary sometimes, but know that God is big enough to handle your questions. He's got broad shoulders for your tears. Don't give up on Him, even if you've lost your belief system with the JW's.
Wishing you all the best! Christian love,
Billygoat
being raised a jw sometimes you feel you only know conditional love.
you are only loved if you tow the line.
i only have one thing to say,.
...up...
jesus was not born on december 25??????
what is the reasoning behind this belief?
Tattoogirl,
I will agree with the others. You're last sentence, whether consciously written or a Freudian slip, sums everything up. The JW's are much more interested in getting you as a member than getting you closer to God. Be careful!
Billygoat
hey all,.
i don't know if my karma is screwed up or what, because today just has not been my day.
first i got up this morning, logged on the board and the first post i read was that drivel from you know or who knows or whatever his/her name is.
Bwahaha! Seven - I love your story! Hahaha!
I do remember a couple of old geezers coming to the doors with shotguns when I lived my short stint in Missouri. Stupid elders still sent us back!
Jonjon - I'm so sorry about your mother! I'll pray for comfort and healing for you! I wish I knew what else to say...
Billygoat
an elder from my congregation visits my wife and i whenever he is in the area.
it has been a while since his last visit.
he used to come in uninvited and unexpected.
Defender,
You never know, there are several ex-Elders on this board. You may be the one that planted the seed of doubt for him. I have always found that reasoning with JW's to be a lot like talking to the Mad Hatter in Alice in Wonderland. Their sense of reality is so different from what's really out here. Keep up the great work!
Billygoat
many of you know that i have a good friend, who is still a dub, and her husband is an elder.
they both talk to us, and i see her all the time, and talk to her everyday.
she called this morning to tell me about the dinner they had last night with some old friends.
Haha - funny story when I think of Norma's words! But I do understand - I'm trying to be patient with my parents and brothers like you are with your friend. I understand the whole "not wanting to make life difficult" issue. I'm the same way - I want to talk to my regular pio brothers (they're both 19), but don't want to rock the boat and make their lives difficult.
Hang in there!
Billygoat
it took me a long time to figure out what is happening.
for those of us that have been lifetime or long time witnesses, the simplest of things are totally overlooked...because we never thought about it.. all through the pages of the bible, we see how men of old gripped hold of their relationship as individuals, and as a people for jehovahs name, and went against the social and legal systems of the times.. the wtbts have assumed that role today.
they have a worldwide kingdom, a government and local rulers to implement "legal' and moral judgements upon the subject.
Deacon what a great thread! I think it great that we can safely ask the hard questions here. But, just so you know, I do still believe in God. I have learned that the God that JW's painted for me was incorrect. I had to re-evaluate what I had been taught and compare it to what the Bible said and what I had experienced in my own life.
Quoting Path of Horns -
(quote) "I had to ask myself, "what do we know for sure?" I think when one simply looks at the answer to this, we know very little for sure beyond what we can see around us. It is hard sometimes to let go of what we want to believe.
Having been out for a little while and having been free to ask the questions, I feel there are no pretty answers. Life is about learning and growing and our relationships with people and the world around us. It is time to live and enjoy life and move on from the past.
I am very comfortable now not knowing the answers to the "big questions". I'd rather say "i don't know" than to believe something someone has just made up to pacify the people.
I am also increasingly comfortable letting those who wish to remain in their little make believe worlds do so. Worrying about those left behind, those who refuse to think and choose to remain ignorant only weighs one down. We can lead people to the "water", but it is up to them if they wish to drink it.
I think to the degree one is able to let go of the past, the fears, the superstitions ect. and can pull the pieces of his or her life back together and carry on and move on, that is the degree to which one will find happiness in life after being a Witness." (/quote)
Everything you said fit perfectly to how I look at Life and God and unanswered questions. Thank you for verbalizing what I couldn't!
Billygoat - moving on, trying to find life out of the Tower
i don't know how the weather is everywhere else, but here in dixie, it's been the first bearable summer in as long as i can remember.. it seems as though mother nature took a rest this year, worn out from her years of relentlessly bombarding us with intense heat.
for so long, it seemed as though the spring and summer months, even october, would bring an onslaught of 100+ degree temperatures with record high humidity and only enough rain to turn our evenings into saunas.. then this year came.
so far, the temperature has topped out in the very low 90's and the humidity just hasn't had the enthusiasm of years past.
I can't complain here either. Down here in Dallas, it's only hit 100+ a few days. Last year we had 56 days in a row of 100+! It gets hot, but it sure could be a lot worse. The management in my office keeps it so cold though, I have a space heater at my desk! Haha!
Billygoat
justice #17 dfing by phone .
the telephone can be so useful, yet in some ways so cold and impersonal.
i wonder how the sister in the following account must have felt when she was df'd by phone: .
Amazing,
I always enjoy reading your posts, but this one does make me sad. I am thankful that you are no longer part of this group! I always felt like JW's were the busiest of the busy-bodies. I just wonder if Sister A or B ever did anything wrong to have a JC called on them, would they ever see the wrong in their ways? I, sadly, say "I doubt it". My experience with JW's is that they rarely see the hypocrisy of their ways.
Billygoat - in appreciation of your Justice series
