this is part 3 and the conclusion to my journey out.
part 1 can be found here, and part 2 is here.. .
truth.
I haven't welcomed you yet Galileo. So, Welcome.
Your story really made me stop and think about my own situation in life. My wife hasn't moved on emotionally, yet, but I know the chance exists. You've been through a lot and I give you credit for keeping your sanity and I really appreciate your posts.
Hang in there. It's a lonely road you're walking. But, you will find company from some of us from time to time.
i have recently left the wts and almost have my da letter ready to send.
my wife is still in and is higly upset by my stand.
she is afraid she'll lose her parents because they are still jw's and refuses to leave the wts, she still beleives it.
Hi Quirky. Welcome to the board. You'll get tons of great advice (and some not so great).
I'm a bit tied up these days but if you have time review some of my older threads. I went through a situation very similar to yours.
Hang in there and always remember - you are not alone.
guys: i just need to vent a little.
as you may know, ive been working for a couple of months, trying to make my wife think by herself.
she started to do it, and i noticed it when she started arguing with her parents about some wt policies some weeks ago.
Hey TTRP. Your situation stinks. I know because I'm living it too.
All I can say is hang in there.
A friend told me once something that I'll never forget:
You and your wife built a foundation together. The truth was integral to that foundation. You leaving the truth or slowly fading away is rocking her foundation to the core. Without a foundation she doesn't know what will happen. You have to reassure her, comfort her and care for her in every way possible. You are responsible for building a new foundation or replacing the truth elements in your current foundation so she can feel secure with changed circumstances.
Me? Well, I'm building a foundation next to hers so one day I can move her peacefully over to it.
isn't smoking just as bad as "defiling the body our temple" with alcohol or drugs legal or illegal?
if i have glucoma will i be disfellowshiped if i smoke pot, since it is a doctor perscribed treatment?
those who smoke how do you justify ruining your health and finances?.
Inkling,
Your premise seems to be if it is unhealthy for you then it's a df'ing offense?
Lots of skinny people eat horribly bad. But, due to genetic makeup they are still skinny and may outwardly appear healthy. If the elder body realizes that they are consistently eating unhealthy and thus treating their temple poorly can or should they disfellowship such a one? That would protect the rest of the congregation from following the person's example.
while i am going to do my research (again), i would love to hear your thoughts-.
especially those of you who have said something to a loved one about the .
card, whether it was a good or bad thing to say.. my wife will fill out her "no blood" card today and take it to the meeting for the .
You have a pm.
i am both new to this forum and new to the jehovah's witness organization.
i am currently about half way through the 'what does the bible really teach?
" and have been attending both sunday services and ministerial school for 3 months.. my biggest problem is that, being a researcher by nature, "verifying that all things are true," i have also been researching the organization which has stumbled me greatly.
Welcome Addagirl.
You are doing the right thing. Checking out an organization before you join. Your study conductors should know and encourage you to check things out for yourself. I once used the example of reading several movie reviews prior to seeing a movie - would I do less when possibly changing my religion?
Of course, they don't see it that way.
If you come up with too many questions or material they view as apostate they will try turning you over to a more mature study conductor and finally you'll be dropped (you're heart condition must not be right at this time will be the likely excuse).
I wish you and your husband the best of luck.
My main pet peeves were:
607BCE for Jerusalem's destruction
Confession to men and judicial committees and the secrecy involved (plus the non-biblical reasons that can be used for disfellowshipping someone)
and petrified... i just recently became a pioneer and always had nagging questions in the back of my mind.
so, i decided that when i have get a study i would research all the questions as i go along so as to prove everything in the truth... i got 4 studies in about 2 months.
all was fine, until i reached i think chapter 6 in the bible teach book about the resurrection.
Welcome to the board Cognac. I have successfully faded from the witnesses over the past several years. For some fading can be quick and for others it can take a long time. I have a wife and kids who are still loyal witnesses. My marriage has survived so far but each new WT inspired crisis or issue makes me nervous.
I know you're in a whirlwind of emotions right now. But, I wanted to tell you how excellent this thread has been. You come across as a very sincere, kind indvidual.
My main issues with the WTS when I began fading were:
607 (at first just the date and then as I researched I realized there was no biblical precedent for interpreting the day for a year counting and no scriptural reason to link Daniel and Revelation - but you can worry aboutt that another day)
Confessing to elders for forgiveness
Blood
The inaccuracy of certain parts of the NWT
Having the Society instill fear of open communication in my marriage so that I couldn't talk to my wife honest and open without fear of beng turned in.
I wish you the best of luck. You've started down a dificult road. We will be here to help anyway we can. Please ask any specific questions you'd like. You will get all sorts of viewpoints.
so i was df'd for living with/having sex with my boyfriend for 3 years and then not ending the relationship and moving out within the week between the first meeting of confession and the second meeting where they tell me what their decision was.
i did move out 3 months later with the intent of being reinstated over a period of time.
well i couldn't cut off the relationship with my bf even though i did move out, so i married him after a year and then 2 weeks after that i slept with someone else.
You have a pm.
ok i have about 4 friends who don't know that i am out of the org.
because there is 3000 miles between us and the subject has not come up.. well one of them has emailed me a jpg copy of each page of the public edition of the wt.. i was feeling a little ornery, and i replied back.
i said wow having a private copy and then a public copy of the wt makes me feel like a secret agent.
You could reply this way:
"You're right. Sometimes there are dificult things to understand in the WT. I'm glad, like the Society says, that the Bible is simple and designed for everyone."
Good luck.
have only been out of the organisation for 2 months and the wounds still run deep.
particularly hard is the fact that my wife and 8 yr old son are now divided in our beliefs.
we cannot go out as a family with our old friends like we use to.
I'm really sorry to hear about your situation.
Perhaps explaining to your wife that you're the same man she has always loved will somehow help her to understand.
If I were you, though, I would read Steve Hassan's books. He can help you learn how to deal effectively with the cult personality.
Good luck
