Posts by buffy

7

My beef re disfellowshipping..

by Marilyn in

jw
friends

22 years ago

i was disfellowshipped over 20 years ago for leaving quietly.

no arguments, no fuss, i just wanted to leave.

i have been shunned by many family members all these years.

22 years ago

buffy 22 years ago

I asked my active JW mother the same question. I got disfellowshipped for having pre-marital sex and yet a child molestor has the congregation's backing. I DON'T THINK SO. How in the hell is my sin worse than a child molestor's. She said that if he's repentant they have no choice but to accept him back. Bull shit. I can't believe that you can rape a child then say "I'm sorry it'll never happen again, forgive me" and all is forgiven. The entire congregation can socialize and talk to a molestor but not to me. F#@$ THAT!!!!!

Buffy

Link

28

The desire to return just for family's sake

by Ephanyminitas in

jw
friends

22 years ago

those of you who have close witness family members -- how hard has it been not to just throw up your hands and just return to the society, just for appearance's sake?

my parents, whom i love very much, are witnesses, and it's very difficult for me to go day to day knowing that i'm completely letting them down.

i no longer believe anything the society says, but oh how tempting it would be to just go back and fake my way through, knowing that i could give my parents peace.

22 years ago

buffy 22 years ago

I thought about it long and hard. I miss my family like crazy, but I will not lie to them anymore. I will not pretend to be a believer just for my family's sake. I can't lie to them or myself. I've chosen to stay disfellowshipped and that's how it's going to be. If my mom can't talk to me for the rest of her life, then so be it.

It really sucks that it has to be that way, but, I refuse to pretend just to have the approval of other people. That's not what I'm about at all.

Buffy

Link

12

?to attack or let go?

by happysunshine in

jw
friends

22 years ago

do you think it is better to just live and let live with family that are witnesses, or will not confronting them with their beliefs come back to haunt you?

-wondering

22 years ago

buffy 22 years ago

You said it Scootergirl!!

I'm df'd and my active JW mother still talks to me on occasion. I'd rather have her talk to me alittle than not at all, so I choose to keep my mouth shut and keep the peace.

Buffy

Link

24

Inactive.....but curious....

by ScoobySnax in

jw
friends

22 years ago

i was just thinking after reading some of the posts, and wanted to ask you something..... do any of you feel, and i mean right in the back of your minds, that jws might still have the true faith (truth).

i've been inactive for a few years now and don't attend meetings at the kh, apart from the memorial, and occasional convention.

please don't shout me down, its just that to me, even though i've been out for a while and my reasons for "drifting" away were very painful to me, i don't feel as the majority do here.

22 years ago

buffy 22 years ago

Scoobie,

I completely relate to what you're feeling. I was inactive for 3 years then disfellowshipped 2 years ago. I still feel that I was taught the "truth." In reading your posts, I was told many of the same things you are being told. "You've been brainwashed, "you're in the first stages of denial," etc. I still don't feel like I was brainwashed and don't feel as if I'm in denial. All I know, is that I don't have the will power to follow the JW's teachings. I still feel that they are correct, however. Maybe with more time, my feelings will change about the JW's, but even if I feel this way forever, it's fine with me. I had a very good upbringing in the "truth." I can't imagine how my life would have been if my mother stayed on the course she was on before becoming a JW. And, I'm very thankful for the "truth" for changing her life the way it did. I don't harbor bad feelings toward the people who've shunned me. I understand that I chose to leave.

Where do I go from here? I have no idea. I'm just living life the way I never could as a JW. I can't say that 2, 3, 4 years from now I'll still be disfellowshipped - I don't know. I don't know if I'd be strong enough to ever go back. I like my life the way it is. But, I still wake up feeling like "god, what if Armageddon comes today?"

But, I like coming to this website when I start thinking of going back. It's a reminder of how hard it was and all the things that didn't make sense come crashing back to me. Maybe I'm just totally f#@!$% up in the head and royally confused. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know, that you're not the only one who feels that way.

Buffy

Link

30

Your favorite Witness?

by larc in

jw
friends

22 years ago

who was your favorite witness?.

mine was john richards.

when i got to know him, he was an old man, and our theocratic ministry school servant.

22 years ago

buffy 22 years ago

Wow, this is stirring up old emotions.

He was an elder named Kenny Moyer. An old white haired man. I never knew my father, but he was as close to me as any faterh could be. He loved me to death. Always showed me special treatment: called on me everytime I rose my hand, gave me a hug every time he saw me, gave me little gifts, and had my mom and me over for dinner every week. He even got in trouble for showing favoritism by the other elders. The last time I saw him I was 13 years old, and I gave him a hug at the hall. He said "Don't squeeze too hard, I'm not feeling too good." That night he died of a heartattack. I was never so heartbroken in my life. I wonder if he'd been able to shun me like all the others. Probably.

Buffy.

Link

5

JW's In the Rural USA

by Kay Francis in

jw
friends

22 years ago

i received this email from a jw, thought it was quite hilarious.

i didn't realize how silly the jw's teaching are.

in a rural area in the usa where telephone party lines are still in use, a "nosey neighbor" habitually would listen in on the conversation of one jehovah's witness who had recently moved nearby.

22 years ago

buffy 22 years ago

Too damn funny. Thanks for the laugh.

Link

46

Mom - Why do you treat me like the damned!

by zenpunk in

jw
friends

23 years ago

not that my mom would ever visit this site - but i have to just vent.

last night my mom promised she would meet me at home to help me move some furniture.

she made it seem like it was a tremendous deal and the only reason why she would be by would be because she had something else to do in the neighbourhood.

23 years ago

buffy 23 years ago

I know exactly what you mean. My mom treats me the same way. I guess I should just be gratefull that she speaks to me at all. Although she uses my son as an excuse to talk to me. She rarely ever stops over, unless it's to pick up her grandson, but she'll talk to me on the phone for an hour. Then the next time I call her, she'll say that she really shouldn't be talking to me this much, and cut the conversation off short. It drives me nuts. She's more torn then ever. She's already going against the Jw's by even speaking to me, but I guess she feels if she lets me know how she feels every so often that it's okay. We had our family reunion the other week. What a mess. My husband hates to go, because of how it makes me feel. My mom will speak to me and so will my uncle ( hell, he'll even give me a hug) But my aunt, just sits there, not saying a word. It's so freaking ridiculous. So, we end up eating and leaving. Kind of ridiculous to be running from your "family reunion."

Buffy

Link

27

Hangover cure

by Elders_Kid in

jw
friends

23 years ago

everybody has their own cure for a hangover.

i was talking to a guy last week, and he suggested taking two advil and drinking a glass of milk as soon as you wake up.

somebody else i talked to suggested drinking ginger ale.

23 years ago

buffy 23 years ago

Drink lots of Gatorade and Vitamin B, then hit the hay. Always works for me. Even after sailing w/ the Captain.

Link

28

What was your dream?

by ashitaka in

jw
friends

23 years ago

did being a witness hurt, hamper, or help your dreams?

did you want to be a dancer?

an actor?

23 years ago

buffy 23 years ago

My dream was and still is to be a country singer. But, my whole life as a JW was nothing but, "don't think like that, think like this" and "you can't go to college, you will work and pioneer." I would have loved to go to college for music and business management and then been able to promote myself. I know I would've made it, hell, even just singing in bars or a lounge would have made me happy. But, these days my biggest audience is my son and my husband. Occasionally, maybe a kareoke bar. But, other then that I still have it in my head that I can't be what I want to be. I keep hearing my mom inside my head. She's saying, "you won't make it, what do you think, that you'll actually be somebody." Those words tear me up. She actually came to kareoke w/ me one night before I was df'd, that was the first and only time she ever heard me sing. Her words, "you sounded great, but, you don't come out here hopin to be discovered, right? Cuz, you know you'll never be a singer." Great support, right???

Link

9

My JW mom's response to Dateline

by buffy in

23 years ago

i actually decided to call my mom and ask her if she saw dateline and what she though of it.

she said she even taped it.

she said, "that abuse must be a problem or jehovah wouldn't have let it be brought out like that.

23 years ago

buffy 23 years ago

I actually decided to call my mom and ask her if she saw Dateline and what she though of it. She said she even taped it. She said, "that abuse must be a problem or Jehovah wouldn't have let it be brought out like that." I tried not to laugh. I told her that we'll be hearing of alot more cases just like Erica's. That the elders had no right to tell victims not to go to the police. She said, "But, it's not like that, they are to go to the police." I told her yeah, now, that all this has come up. I brought up a girl from the congregation who did tell the elders that an inactive witness molested her as a child, and she and her family were told to not go to the police. I said mom are you forgetting about that? She said, "no, your right." And, us kids were around the molester numerous times. We were never even told that he did this until we were older. I couldn't believe that us kids were let around this molester w/o even knowing. My mom completely agreed. She said that if something would've happened to me, she would have went to the police regardless. And she completely sympathized w/ Erica and said if the molester was allowed back into the congregation she would have been furious. But, her rebuttal was that, "if the molester repented and wanted to come back, the elders can't stop him. Just like if you wanted to come back, even though you sinned, you'd have every right too." Like having premarital sex can be compared to molesting children. She ended the conversation w/, "well, we're all imperfect. The organization needs weeded out and this is how it'll be done. If it takes a program like Dateline to wake up the gb then so be it. I'm not leaving the organ. over this." Well, what can I do. I guess she's staying no matter what happens. She hurts for me, but I hurt for her too.

Buffy

Link