Drew,
Disclaimer: I don't know your wife; the following may be truly lousy advice.
Fish or cut bait. Right now you're just waffling. Do something dramatic and final.
Discuss with your wife an issue that the Watchtower CANNOT sucessfully address. Get her to agree that the issue is meaningful and deserves -- indeed, requires -- a reasonable answer. Tell her that you will get a straight answer from Bethel. Send a certified letter to Bethel and let them fail to give a reasonable answer, or order your expulsion.
Your wife will be unable to simply bow to the WTS' self-granted authority when she sees their "loving concern" up close and personal. What manner of Organisation persecutes people for asking a meaningful question?!?!
Good luck and God bless.