evita

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Posts by evita

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  33

  Pray Or Give Your Thoughts To My Gradson

  by Undecided in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i don't believe in prayer now, but i could be wrong so would you give some good vibes for my grandson?

  he is 16 and they discovered a big growth on his lymph node near his heart and will operate on him monday afternoon.

  it could be cancer but i sure hope it isn't.

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  evita

  So sorry to hear about your grandson. I will be sending positive thoughts and prayers your way.
  
  My 15yr old son has a swollen lymph node near his groin. It has been there a month and he will problably need to have it biopsied tomorrow.
  I am trying not to panic.
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  31

  Tonsillectomies?

  by BlackSwan of Memphis in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my oldest is having her tonsils and adenoids out on monday.

  the doctor will also be maybe putting tubes in her ears if sees that theres a problem, as he will be doing some work in her ears during the same surgery.. i've read all the information they've given us, doesn't seem like a huge deal.. i'm wondering though how many have either had their tonsils out as children and remember the experience or how many have had children who have the surgery.. i would just like to know from others what i might be able to expect.. any input?.

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  evita

  I had mine removed 35+ years ago when I was eleven. I had suffered from many colds, and swollen tonsils. I remember being checked into the hospital the night before surgery and being very homesick. After the operation my throat was very, very sore. When I cried it was agony. They had told me I would be getting all sorts of ice cream and goodies but afterwards told me not to eat ice cream or pudding as it was too mucous forming. So it was days of jello and cool broth for me.
  I have been quite healthy since, but I do wonder about the tonsils/immune system thing. We lived in a very damp, moldy, and woodsy area. I may have been suffering from undiagnosed allergies or something else. But nobody really investigated those things back then - just take out the tonsils and off you go.
  Eva
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  24

  I can't be proud of my kids!

  by WANTMOMBACK in

  1. social
  2. family

  today i went to my daughter's school and they sang "america the beautiful" and i videoed her.

  i do have a question though!!

  how do most people explain to their children about why grandma and grandpa never come to their birthday party or any holiday function?

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  evita

  I dealt with this situation for many years.
  
  One time I invited my mom to see my son in a little school play. She agreed to come and I was so happy! The play was near the time of Martin Luther King's birthday so they had a sing-along-song before the performance. Well, my mom could not tolerate that. She immediately left the auditorium and stood out on the back deck of the school. I went out to get her when the play started but she refused to come in. She said, "You didn't tell me this was a birthday party for MLK". I was beyond angry and hurt.
  
  I had made it clear to my mom that I didn't want her to "witness" to my kids. When they were small I thought she was respecting my wishes and allowed them to spend some time with her. After she died, I found some of her papers including some time she had counted for my older son.
  
  The whole thing just makes me incredibly sad. I'm not angry with my mom - she just wanted to please Jehovah and was following the rules laid out by the WTBTS. I just hate what this religion does to families.
  
  I hope you can remain loving towards your mom. Your kids will just accept her as kids do. But it may hinder them from having any real relationship with her.
  
  Eva
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  9

  there is more to my story...

  by WANTMOMBACK in

  1. social
  2. family

  i started yesterday about my mom being a jw and my being so confused about, well, just about everything.

  like i said earlier my parents got divorced and then remarried.

  my dad goes to the meetings sometimes when he is not out gambling or making someone miserable with his hateful demeanor.

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  evita

  I can really relate to your story. I left the religion in my 20's. My mom was devastated and so began 20+ years of an extremely difficult relationship with her, We had always been so close and I couldn't imagine life without my mom. She shunned me off and on for over 20 years. In between the shunning we would try to have contact but it usually ended with tears, guilt, and recriminations due to her being a fanatic JW and my anger and hurt over the situation.
  
  Meanwhile, I finished college, got married, and had 3 children. Life went on but there was a hole in my heart that never mended. Eventually we got to the point where we would have lunch once a month or so. It was loving but superficial. I think she was getting older and feeling vulnerable so not inclined to shun me.
  
  Two years ago she died after being ill for 8 weeks. A couple of weeks before she died, she began calling me crying, saying "I'm so sorry" over and over. I was so broken up because she was dying that I couldn't bear to rehash the sadness of the past. I just reassured her that I loved her and was not angry anymore. She died as she lived- devoted to Jehovah and what she believed to be his organization. I know through the years she had some doubts and was treated harshly by the elders because she professed to be of the anointed. But she never wavered in her devoted service.
  
  So here I am coming up on the second anniversary of her death. I am no longer angry, just so sad. What a waste and for what? I lost my beautiful, talented, loving mom to a nutty religion. My kids never really had a chance to know the amazing woman my mom was. We could never feel and show the love that is a natural part of family relationships. I feel this loss every day in the deepest part of me.
  
  And yet, I never regret leaving the witnesses. I have freedom, my life is my own. I do not live in fear, guilt, and servitude to a book publishing company. I have a beautiful family who are free to grow and learn and experience life as it happens.
  
  There are no easy answers but the advice so far is good. There are people here who understand what you're going through and care enough to help. Reading here will help ease the guilt and anxiety and give you good strategies for dealing with your mom. I wish I had this forum when I was going through it with my mom. Maybe your mother will come to see what a strong and loving person you are.
  
  Hugs and welcome to the forum,
  Eva
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  11

  WHERE ARE YOU?

  by Jez in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so, my 16 year old is really giving me a hard time lately.

  really horrible stuff.

  i won't get into it but my reason for posting this topic, is that i keep thinking how difficult this is to not be able to be mothered when i need it.. i would never have imagined how hard this is.

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  evita

  Hi Jez
  I have a 15 year old son who is a sweetheart some days and a major challenge on others. My JW mom died 2 years ago. I hesitated to confide in her when she was alive because I always felt she was judging me and thinking if only I served Jah I wouldn't be having these difficulties.
  If she were here today I would not let anything stop me from confiding in her. I miss her so much.
  I can relate to your situation. With teens it seems there are no easy decisions. Sometimes I don't know what to do and I fear losing my relationship with my son.
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  27

  MsMcDucket's mom

  by parakeet in

  1. watchtower
  2. medical

  msmcducket's mother died this morning.

  she posted the announcement deep in a thread she had started several months ago when her mother first became seriously ill, and as a result the post sort of got lost.

  msmcducket, i hope you don't mind my taking the initiative to start a new thread about your mom.

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  evita

  MsMcDucket
  So sorry to hear about your mom. Losing my mom 2 years ago was so hard. My heart goes out to you.
  Hugs, Eva
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  19

  Elders with STRONG personalities....

  by JH in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  there is an elder in my congregation that has a very strong personality.

  he drove volkswagens and many bought the same make as he did.

  we had another elder back then that drove a dodge aries and another elder who had a peugeot garage and he sold so many second hand peugeots to members of the congregation.

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  evita

  All of the elders in my congregation were rather mild-mannered. But some of their wives ruled the congregation with an iron fist!
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  66

  Personality of "Anointed" JWs

  by Smiles in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  did you notice any similarities in the personalities of "anointed" jws?.

  did they use their anointed status for personal advantage?.

  were they the most loving person you ever met?.

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  evita

  Welcome Bam!
  I have a story similar to yours. Reading about your mom has brought up painful memories of my own mother who died 2 years ago. I was going to tell her story of being "anointed" but I can't bring myself to. Someday...
  Eva
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  24

  CA members

  by Chameleon in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  who here is in ca?

  i'm in southern ca, and that's all i'm willing to reveal for now.

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  evita

  I'm in Northern Calif. I only know two ex-dubs from this area. Would love to meet more.
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  21

  The dubs that brought you into the WTS

  by greendawn in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  how do you perceive the jws that had brought you into the wts, do you like them, resent them, are they still dubs or did they get out before you?

  it would be nice if there are instances where those that brought people in later helped them leave.

  i don't particularly like the dubs that got me in because i later realised they were doing everything to impress their superiors and get promoted, something they achieved as they got good bethel positions abroad.

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  evita

  The woman who studied with my mom became quite close to our family. At the time she had a son who was an elder and a daughter who regular pioneered. Although I'm sure she was sad when I left, she never shunned me when I ran into her unexpectedly a few times. Her son left the religion and posts on this board. Her daughter and son-in-law (elder) also left, but I have never spoken with them about it and we have no contact.
  Thinking about it makes me feel sad. I don't have any hard feelings towards their family. Yes, they had a profound impact on me and my family and I still struggle to make some sense of it. But we were all doing the best we knew how at the time.